We've been friends for 10 years...

[discombobulated]

I have been friends with "Dan" for 10 years. We started dating in high school. It lasted a little over a year. Being so young, it couldn't have been that serious. So we broke up remaining friends, best friends. About 2 years later I met my ex-husband and got married. Dan and I stayed in contact even though I had a hell of a time convincing my husband that Dan and I were only friends.
About 5 years later Dan moved to California (I'm in Tennessee). We still found time to talk on the phone occasionally, although we have not seen eachother for about 2 years.
Now comes the confusing part...
Now I am Divorced. Dan and I have been talking on the phone for months, atleast once a day. My feelings for him have been changing. I think I am in love with him. I'm pretty sure that he's in love wih me, too. We have hinted around to eachother on the phone.
Do I go for it? I would hate to go for it and lose a great friend. Our friendship is as close to perfect as you could get. I feel like he is my soulmate. We know eachother so well, it's almost scary.
I know things may be a little awkward, but I think we can push through that. Does anybody have any advise on this situation? Can you be lovers, then friends, then lovers again? And, if it doesn't work out can we be friends again?
Any thoughts are welcome.
Thanks.

[TheSphinx]

The worst that can happen is that you lose Dan as a friend. If you really feel like he's that close to a "soulmate," why not risk it?

~Sphinx

[BFTrick]

i dont talk to my friends on the phone everyday after not seeing them for 2 years. im pretty sure he sees you as something more.

[sticko]

^good point. I've been in this exact situation before.

It's scary having a possibility of losing a friend. But IMO, if it doesn't work out, you guys could end up good friends again. at least thats what happened with me.

[Gigabitch]

Your friendship is bullshit. You're in love with him. Friends aren't in love with each other. Stop making excuses and hiding behind your "friendship" and make the jump. Say it. You know you want to.

[CAM]

Your friendship is bullshit. You're in love with him. Friends aren't in love with each other. Stop making excuses and hiding behind your "friendship" and make the jump. Say it. You know you want to.

ABSOLUTELY CORRECT, Giga.

I hate this friendship crap...it is so immature. If she's in love with Dan and vice versa...just go for it. The original poster is too much of a drama queen....of course, it sounds like this Dan character is also a drama queen. The original poster and her friend Dan ought to just get on with it....their lives, that is. Get married or something.

[IndiReloaded]

The friendship isn't bullshit. Geeze, Cam & Giga you have a very limited view of love & friendship. They do not need to be mutually exclusive, at least I seem to have missed that part of the rulebook...

But they aren't being honest with each other, that part is true. For that reason, I agree w/everyone in that the OP needs to fess up. You are both able & available, so what are you waiting for? If you are both truly friends & a relationship doesn't work then you should be able to remain friends. If not, well, you can't lose what you never really had.

[anachronistic]

It's people like the ones that have posted in this thread that make me proud to be a member here.

[Gigabitch]

The friendship isn't bullshit. Geeze, Cam & Giga you have a very limited view of love & friendship. They do not need to be mutually exclusive, at least I seem to have missed that part of the rulebook...

But they aren't being honest with each other, that part is true. For that reason, I agree w/everyone in that the OP needs to fess up. You are both able & available, so what are you waiting for? If you are both truly friends & a relationship doesn't work then you should be able to remain friends. If not, well, you can't lose what you never really had.

We should have another word for "friends who are attracted to one another", because in my opinion, friends are NOT attracted to one another.

[IndiReloaded]

We should have another word for "friends who are attracted to one another", because in my opinion, friends are NOT attracted to one another.

Agreed. But IMO, the concept of 'friendship' has a pretty wide scope. If it didn't, why make the explicit distinction for a 'platonic friendship', which is the opposite of what I think you are meaning. I don't know what the phrase is, tho.

[Gigabitch]

Hmmm. If we come up with a slick redefinition of "friends with potential" or some shit like that, we can write a self-help book and make a million, like that guy who wrote He's Just Not That Into You.

We should work on this.