What do guys want?

[buzwiz]

Affection wise what do guys like? My BF is going to give me a massage next time i see him because he says he wants to do something for ME and i want to do something to him that he will enjoy but we arent ready for the sexual stuff like BJs yet so what can i do that is affectionate towards him but not sexual?

[Tired]

why not give him a massage? Most of us won't admit to cuddling because its not alpha/masculine....but I don't think any of us mind it when our attractive girls are rubbing up on us

[buzwiz]

Problem is i dont know how to give masages! :O ive been trying to find some massage oil but its pretty expensive and im on a budget at the moment (and hes totaly broke!)

does baby oil work? lol

xxx

[Tired]

Problem is i dont know how to give masages! :O ive been trying to find some massage oil but its pretty expensive and im on a budget at the moment (and hes totaly broke!)

does baby oil work? lol

xxx

you dont have to know lol

[Kromat]

I say this a lot, but It's fun .
See If he wants to take some dancing lessons, If he's into it.
I take latin and ballroom dancing, and it really shows that you want to learn for them and lead,
so that they can have fun as much as you. I do group lessons and with my current partner
which I met in September have been having such a fun time that I even asked her out one
night and we talked, danced, grabbed a few drinks, snacks and she really enjoyed herself,
try something unique and fun that both of you can enjoy.

We want for you to show us how much you care to try something that we might enjoy,
but It seems kinda musculline at times.
Trust is important, because If you don't believe it than the relationship will
hit a downward spiral and it'll be hard to bring back up.

[GrkScorp]

what can i do that is affectionate towards him but not sexual?

This question has no answer

There's nothing you can do for him that's affectionate but isn't sexual.. think i'm lying? i'll play out some situations for you..

You: Massage him..
Him Thinking: "ugh, fcukn b*tch.. how cruel, why the hell would you torture me like this.. this is like throwing drops of water at someone in the desert heat.. I hate you.. ugh, it's so hard to pretend to enjoy this massage, and I hate you, because I can't even hate you, you're trying to do something nice for me, but this ISN'T my idea of nice.. ugh.. women are so stupid and clueless.. i'm going to have to jerk off 5 more times than usual to get tonight out of my head.."

You: Throw him a "football/baseball/other sport he watches" party.. where you get him beer and pizza for him and the guys.. and join in on the fun.. be one of them for one night..
Him Thinking: "man, she's so awsome.." (that will last for about 5 seconds, until it's immediately followed by) "man, she looks so good in what she's wearing.. there's something about watching the game and looking at her.. man.. I just wish nobody was here.. I just wanna have sex with her.. ugh"

So the lesser of two evils is doing something "affectionate" for him that's not physical.. why? Because sex for guys.. is a way of expressing affection (it's the best way; and since guys are practical creatures, if it's the best way.. there's no need for any other way.. so it's the ONLY way).. every other way of expressing affection is dwarfed in the face of sex for a man.. now, obviously.. he understands that you don't feel the same way.. so he needs to express affection to you in a way you as a woman would consider it to be an expression of affection.. (isn't it funny how you could care less to try and express affection to him in a way a man would consider it to be an expression of affection?).. anyway..

My honest opinion.. if you're not ready for sex or BJ's yet.. that means that you're obviously still young.. but.. that's also ok.. whatever.. just know.. that YOU may not be ready yet.. but HE is just trying his best to control himself.. give it some deep thought, but the best display of affection at this point would be a "handjob"..

I'm not even kidding.. but don't take my word on it.. let some other guys pick on what they would much rather prefer when sex and BJs are out of the picture (you have not had sexual contact, ever in this relationship!)?

A. The best massage in the world?
B. Your Girlfriend hosting a game-night and being part of the fun for the best game-night in the world?
C. A handjob

I'm going to leave it at that.. and we'll see what guys think..

[buzwiz]

PMSL! love your post Grkscorp!

Yes i am young im 17 and hes 18, and no we have not done anything that involves sexual contact. I am a virgin (however he is not) and we have not been together very long even tho we have become realy close fairly quickly IMO i therefore do not feek ready for sexual contact at the moment, i am surprised that i feel comfortable taking my top off in front of him when i take into consideration how long i have known him and i think for the time being we have gone as far as i would like until i am ready for something more.

xxx

o yeah! i dont even know how to give a handjob! i am very new too this

[GrkScorp]

o yeah! i dont even know how to give a handjob! i am very new too this

Hey, there's no shame in that.. everyone has to start somewhere.. don't fall for all that social pressure and think that because you're 17-18 you have to be some kind of pro.. that's ok, that's a perfectly fine age to start..

That being said.. the only thing you're scarred about is penetration.. which is normal.. when women are scared of sex.. they mean (penetration).. the thing to realize is that there is more MYTH than TRUTH surrounding the issue of penetration, and it's largely FEAR that holds people back.. but that's something that most couples get over with enough COMFORT..

Breaking your virginity is hardwired into this cultural-stigma/parental-respect thing.. where you FEEL like a slut just by not being a virgin anymore.. but.. you'll eventually come to the realization.. that people have sex all the time.. it's just that nobody talks about it.. (discretion is a virtue)..

But back to how to give a great handjob.. I believe providing links to "porn" is a clear violation of the terms.. but there's no better instructional video on handjobs than pornographic videos.. (not to imply that these videos are distasteful).. but there should really be a distinction between PORN-PORN and instructional-porn.. because the links I would provide would be more like instructional-porn..

Anyway.. i'll let the mods/admins get back to me on that one.. most likely NO though.. so i'm going to shoot some basics..

If done right; handjobs are perhaps the best way a guy can enjoy the company of his partner.. why? Because, sex is a bonding experience.. and guys want to see their partner's face.. and have everything well in reach.. something that's not a luxury they have during BJs.. and sometimes not present during sex..

think of it as a massage.. seriously.. he's not doing ANYTHING..

The secret to great stimulation lies in the rhythm, but that's something that varies from person-to-person, and I want to help, but the only way I can help you on rhythm is if I sit down with your bf, and i'm simply not that willing to help, so that's something you'll have to calibrate to and discover on your own..

But lie down.. side to side, almost in the position the two of you would be kissing while on a bed.. you must both be horizontal (i'd go into the brain's physiology as to why, but just trust me on this one).. he's more relaxed while horizontal (this is why psychologists sit their clients down horizontal, and dentists).. so that's the first point, be horizontal.. and then transition.. transition from kissing (if facing eachother) or from spooning (if spooning).. then start to stimulate his "area" with either your thigh (if facing eachother) or your butt (if spooning).. when things start "looking up for him".. reach down with your hand, and begin to rub it from the outside of his clothes (pants, shorts, kilt, whatever)..

"Remember, it's not about the climax.. the journey is more important than the destination"

So, at this point slowly move your hand on his actual "area".. and begin to slowly familiarize the up and down motion his shaft enjoys (slowly & softly).. do this for about 45-120 seconds.. then move your hand up, and assist in taking off his lower-body clothing (look at him and tell him to take off his clothes)..

The game is on! This is where technique is important.. (a good handjob is LESS about what your HAND is doing).. key issues you want to keep in mind is "it's all about teasing, and allowing him to embrase your feminine engery, you have to have this attitude in the back of your mind thinking, I know i'm blowing your mind away".. your face needs to be dynamic, sexy, seductive, teasing, playful.. sounds, talking, whatever helps to either directly or indirectly convey that YOU KNOW you're blowing his mind away.. (remember, it's about allowing him to embrase that feminine energy)..

An other important point of that is making him feel comfortable, and infact encouraging him to feel your breast and the rest of your body during this process.. although his hands will gravitate naturally back to your breasts as he's about to climax.. (sexual communication is a beautiful thing, it's like the two bodies are talking to eachother)..

Your rhythm should be slowish.. giving attention to his (two little helpers) with the aid of either your second hand, or your thigh.. now, he'll eventually be reaching his climax.. (don't be afraid to overstimulate).. transition don't just flip the switch from slow to fast.. your transition should take about 3-5 seconds from slow to fast.. during this time, his hands will find thier way to your breast, your on hand should be behind his head or on top of it, taking control of it.. you should be kissing him, your nose should be indirectly signaling that message (I know i'm about to make you climax).. your facial expression should be seductive and teasing.. and to add that extra punch.. keeps a small circle motion with your thigh working its way on his (two little helpers)..

You can alternate this last step.. instead of kissing, you may feel more in the mood to just simply get creative and naughty with your facial expressions, saying things to him (oh, don't try to hold it in.. just let it go).. and use your other hand to give gentile yet firm attention to his (two little helpers)..

When it's all done, he's all cleaned up, and he's down and relaxed.. he's going to want to "get to your turn".. and sort of return the favor.. this is a natural instinct, because remember, for men, (sex=display of affection).. so he wants to simply return that.. just let him know "I just wanted to do something nice for you, think of it as a thank you for being sweet and thoughtful with the message".. this is amazing.. talk about making your guy melt.. (forget food & his stomach.. at this point, he's speachless..)

Aside from it making him feel he has the best & most understanding gf.. it will also act as "building comfort" and take your relationship on a new level as you would have established a new level of "openess".. this may actually make it easier, and make you both feel more comfortable with exploring sex in the time that follows (not right away, but in the days, weeks, months that follow)..

Hope this helps..

[buzwiz]

i follwed your advice and today i gave him a handjob :O i didnt initially intend to but things just happened naturally realy we used lube bt i didnt make him come he tried to finish off himself as well but failed he sed i did a amazing job tho which made me feel good and the not cuming was probablt due to the fact that i had 2 keep switching hands (omg makes your arm ache soooo bad!:O) and his sister walked in half way through unexpectedly! she didnt see anything but shes told his mum and step dad she walked in on us having sex twice which is a total lie cus i was in bed on my own the first time she cum in i had no top on (massage) bt i was tottaly covered and my top cudnt b seen

so now we`ve gotta convince his mum and step dad we havent done anything cus they dont want it going on under there roof which is prefectly understandable!

god wot a day! my head is totally screwed up now i hate his parents thinking im a slag! and i hate his lieing sister! i think his mum believes we didnt do anything bt his step dad doesnt we wanted go down on me and i was soooooo tempted but i said no i dont think im ready for that yet and i would HATE someone walk in on that! lol

questions :-
- how long does it usually take for a guy 2 come when having a handjob?
-do do u not get arm ache ? lol

[Gigabitch]

... i would HATE someone walk in on that!

Maybe you should have a lock on the door. What is wrong with you people?

- how long does it usually take for a guy 2 come when having a handjob?
-do do u not get arm ache ? lol

It depends on the guy. Some- a couple of minutes, especially if you're talking dirty in their ear. Some guys, forever, and I think forever is too long to expect someone to play with your wiener.

I recommend you stroke it a lot before moving into an actual handjob wank kind of move. That should cut down on the sore arm thing.

[buzwiz]

people dont usually come walking into his room....

another question...how do i tell his hes nearly ready to cum?

xxxx

[Only-virgins]

This question has no answer

There's nothing you can do for him that's affectionate but isn't sexual.. think i'm lying? i'll play out some situations for you..

You: Massage him..
Him Thinking: "ugh, fcukn b*tch.. how cruel, why the hell would you torture me like this.. this is like throwing drops of water at someone in the desert heat.. I hate you.. ugh, it's so hard to pretend to enjoy this massage, and I hate you, because I can't even hate you, you're trying to do something nice for me, but this ISN'T my idea of nice.. ugh.. women are so stupid and clueless.. i'm going to have to jerk off 5 more times than usual to get tonight out of my head.."

You: Throw him a "football/baseball/other sport he watches" party.. where you get him beer and pizza for him and the guys.. and join in on the fun.. be one of them for one night..
Him Thinking: "man, she's so awsome.." (that will last for about 5 seconds, until it's immediately followed by) "man, she looks so good in what she's wearing.. there's something about watching the game and looking at her.. man.. I just wish nobody was here.. I just wanna have sex with her.. ugh"

So the lesser of two evils is doing something "affectionate" for him that's not physical.. why? Because sex for guys.. is a way of expressing affection (it's the best way; and since guys are practical creatures, if it's the best way.. there's no need for any other way.. so it's the ONLY way).. every other way of expressing affection is dwarfed in the face of sex for a man.. now, obviously.. he understands that you don't feel the same way.. so he needs to express affection to you in a way you as a woman would consider it to be an expression of affection.. (isn't it funny how you could care less to try and express affection to him in a way a man would consider it to be an expression of affection?).. anyway..

My honest opinion.. if you're not ready for sex or BJ's yet.. that means that you're obviously still young.. but.. that's also ok.. whatever.. just know.. that YOU may not be ready yet.. but HE is just trying his best to control himself.. give it some deep thought, but the best display of affection at this point would be a "handjob"..

I'm not even kidding.. but don't take my word on it.. let some other guys pick on what they would much rather prefer when sex and BJs are out of the picture (you have not had sexual contact, ever in this relationship!)?

A. The best massage in the world?
B. Your Girlfriend hosting a game-night and being part of the fun for the best game-night in the world?
C. A handjob

I'm going to leave it at that.. and we'll see what guys think..

C

__________________________

[Junket]

people dont usually come walking into his room....

another question...how do i tell his hes nearly ready to cum?

xxxx

Heavy breathing, hands turning to fists or grabbing the sheets, toes curling.

Also, his balls will start to pull up towards his body, this is probably the most accurate sign he's about to blow his load.

Or, you could just ask him to tell you when.


If you'd like those links to Scorps "instructional" videos, he can pass them along to you via PM.

[DoesntMatter]

Maybe taking some ecstasy with your boyfriend

[buzwiz]

scorps - think links would be useful please

Doesntmatter- why would i wanna take ecstasy? :$