Playing hard to get or just not interested?

[odkits]

My situation is a bit complicated but I am going to try and keep it as brief and concise as possible. Over the past two months or so, I have re-connected with a female friend from grade school, who I had not seen or talked to in 7 or 8 years. We re-connected online, and I was almost immediately attracted to her based on the conversations we had and on recent photos I had seen of her. We had several brief talks, just getting to know each other once again and catching up, and throughout these conversations, we decided it would be a good idea to hang out over her holiday break (she is still in college while I have recently graduated), as we had several mutual friends.

She eventually gave me her number, and it wasn't until she got home from school that we began to exchange text messages, which have become our primary means of communication. I tried to get her to hang out a few times, sending a few texts and making a couple of phone calls, but she never responded to them. After several attempts, I gave up and decided she really didn't want to hang out. A few days after the last phone call, she sent me an e-mail apologizing for not returning my texts or calls (which had been right around Christmas time) and said she had been very busy with family stuff. She also mentioned that she was nervous and hesitant to hang out because she hadn't seen me or our mutual friends in such a long time. She did, however, say that she still wanted to meet up at some point, which eventually happened on New Years.

She let me know the day before New Years that she was excited to see me, and she made sure not to arrive at the New Years' party until I was there. Upon seeing each other, we shared a nice long hug and within 10-15 minutes we started drinking together. Eventually she grabbed my arm and told me not to leave her because she didn't know a lot of the people there and told me to stick by her the entire night. 20 or so minutes later, she pulled me aside and asked me to kiss her. We proceeded to spend the entire night together, kissing, talking, and joking around, and she said a few days later that she had an amazing time. She also admitted, however, that she didn't remember some of the night, but she later recalled several of the conversations we had so she wasn't completely out of it. That night was the high point for me, but I kept in mind that we were both drunk and everyone wants to have someone to kiss for New Years, so I tried not to get my hopes up too high that maybe there were some sparks between us.

I didn't talk to her for a couple of days following New Years, but we ended up sending random texts to each other and eventually we had a couple of good conversations again (she said that she thinks I am hilarious and she loves my sense of humor). She even asked me to go to a bar with her, which I was unable to do, but we decided again that we should hang out before she goes back to school. Since then, however, I have sent her a few texts and I have called a couple of times and she has not responded (similar to the days leading up to New Years). In general, it takes her a good amount of time to respond to my texts (a couple of hours), but lately she hasn't responded at all.

Maybe I am being too pushy in getting her to hang out again, but she has said several times that she wants to spend time with me so I don't know if that is the case. Could she be interested in me and is just playing hard to get, or does it look like she isn't interested at all and I don't really stand a chance with her?

I should also mention that she is very much single, but she does seem to have a lot of guys who are interested in her because she is very attractive and very intelligent. She claims to have not met any nice guys at her school (they are mostly childish and not "real"), but she is interested in having a serious relationship with a mature guy (those are roughly her own words).

Any help is much appreciated, and thank you very much in advance.

[Gigabitch]

Definitely worth pursuing, and I don't think you're crossing the line with her, since it was she who initiated all the moves forward at the party.

Maybe she's just plain shy, and needs an excuse to be forward. She also may be getting bad advice that tells her to be coy and not answer all of your messages, to keep your interest piqued. It's possible.

I think you should try again, with a solid plan in mind of what you want to do with her. Ask her out to dinner ir something.

[misombra]

why don't you try calling her?

[odkits]

Definitely worth pursuing, and I don't think you're crossing the line with her, since it was she who initiated all the moves forward at the party.

Maybe she's just plain shy, and needs an excuse to be forward. She also may be getting bad advice that tells her to be coy and not answer all of your messages, to keep your interest piqued. It's possible.

I think you should try again, with a solid plan in mind of what you want to do with her. Ask her out to dinner ir something.

Gigabitch (fantastic name by the way),

Funny enough, she is not shy at all; rather, she is very outgoing and friendly, and it actually surprised me how forward she was with me at the New Year's party. As I said in my first post, we hadn't seen each other in a good 7 or 8 years, and within an hour of seeing each other for the first time, she was already asking me to kiss her. I am fairly certain that a lot of guys like her, and I just hope she doesn't act the same way towards them as she did to me at New Years (which would obviously be a complete turn-off), but I can definitively tell you that she is not shy.

I am actually anxious to call her again, but some of my friends have just suggested to give it a rest for a while and see if she eventually contacts me. I think this may be the best plan of action for right now, and it may give me a good indication that she is actually interested. If she doesn't get in touch with me again before she goes back to school (I think she has another week or so at home) then I guess I know where I stand. Thoughts?

[odkits]

why don't you try calling her?

Calls have been as equally unsuccessful as texts. Both before and after New Years, I have called and left a couple of voicemails to which she never responded.

I think it would be easy for me to confront her about it and ask her why she doesn't respond to me, but I don't think that's the right way to go about this. I think by doing so it would put her off completely and that's the exact opposite of what I want to do.

[Gigabitch]

sober = elusive
drinking = brazen

Hmmmm.

Do you have any mutual friends who might be able to clue you in as to wtf is going on with her? Her manners are appalling... she should at least call you back with a yes or no.

[odkits]

sober = elusive
drinking = brazen

Hmmmm.

Do you have any mutual friends who might be able to clue you in as to wtf is going on with her? Her manners are appalling... she should at least call you back with a yes or no.

I wish our mutual friends could help me out with her thoughts, but most are just as clueless as I am. Many of them haven't seen her since high school, which was 4 or so years ago, but they all agree that she is very sweet and a good person.

And you hit on exactly what is bothering me the most...the fact that she doesn't call me or text me back. It's very frustrating and rather rude, and I just wish there was an adequate reason for it. I understand being busy, but it only takes a minute or two to get back to someone.

[Gigabitch]

And you hit on exactly what is bothering me the most...the fact that she doesn't call me or text me back. It's very frustrating and rather rude, and I just wish there was an adequate reason for it. I understand being busy, but it only takes a minute or two to get back to someone.

Well, all is not lost, necessarily. Maybe she just needs to wake up and smell the potential. My boyfriend was a jackass when we first started dating. He was, like, phone disabled. Then one day he just snapped out of it.

Maybe she just needs a trigger, something to get her attention. You can't just go over to her house because that's too stalkerish.

Are you being excessively nice in these messages? Maybe you're being a little too nice, you know?

Do you think it's possible she's really embarrassed about drinking so much at the party?

[odkits]

Well, all is not lost, necessarily. Maybe she just needs to wake up and smell the potential. My boyfriend was a jackass when we first started dating. He was, like, phone disabled. Then one day he just snapped out of it.

Maybe she just needs a trigger, something to get her attention. You can't just go over to her house because that's too stalkerish.

Are you being excessively nice in these messages? Maybe you're being a little too nice, you know?

Do you think it's possible she's really embarrassed about drinking so much at the party?

I think I was being excessively nice in my messages before New Years, and she actually told me that I didn't need to be so formal when I was talking to her because she is a down-to-earth girl. After we hung out at New Years, I really became myself around her and I was able to just joke around with her and show her my sense of humor, which she said she loved. When I'm comfortable, I can be really sarcastic and funny, and I was making her laugh throughout New Years and then in our subsequent conversations. So me being too nice hasn't been a problem lately.

As far as her being embarrassed about her drinking, I don't really think that's the case. I mean, we are still both college-aged and it was mostly a college party so people are going to get obnxiously drunk. We were both drunk at the party but not anymore so than everyone else, so I don't really think she has a reason to be embarrassed, and she hasn't said anything of the sort since New Years.

[genesys4]

how bout U flirted with her by saying that she's one of your many gfs(provided u must have other galz) list... that might make her fight 4u, if she really likes u