What is she thinking?

[S01]

Please could anyone shed some light on my current situation...

just over three weeks ago my partner of 8 years up and left me for a guy she met at work and had only really know for just over two months. We recently purchased our first home together months ago) and were ready to start our adult lives together (26 yrs old). Im devistated and am still struggling with the whole thing. She sent me an email the other night after we accidentallly bumped into each other in town. I couldnt talk so I left as soon as i saw her but this is what she said in the mail...

Please shed some light on what she is doing and what im supposed to interpret from this...

Hi,
I hope you understand why i am writing this...
It killed me to see you the other day - and i want to be there for you but i know that i cant... my immediate reaction was to want you back so much, i miss you and i always will... i cant forgive myself for what ive done to you and i dont expect you to,,,
Its probably not fair for me to write this but i want you to know...
I am just trying my best to put things out of my mind and just get on with life, work, etc ... its not easy, but i hope you are trying to do the same... i have really low points where i hate myself so much and dont want to carry on with anything anymore,,, but then i know i need to snap myself out of it and that eventually everything will be ok and things will feel 'normal' again...
Why am i telling you this??? do you really want to know ? - i guess not - but i cant just NOT let you know - i guess really i want to know how you are - probably because i imagine the worst - --- i know ive always been there when you needed me and i know how you can feel and i've felt the same, so low that nothing else in the world can possibly be worth living for ... i only know, that like i've said, eventually things will get better and ... i know youve got your friends and family ...
and if i'm really honest... i'm telling you all this probably because i want to know that you're ok, so i dont have to punish myself so much, but i guess thats what i deserve... you have every write to hate me and not care for me at all, but i still care about you and i always will ... even if i dont see you and you were probably right that it wasnt best to see each other -
Maybe if you wrote back to me, it would help you to get some things off your chest - but i understand if you prefer not to and to be honest, i know it would hurt to hear from you... but at the same time it hurts not to hear from you... #
I'm rambling on now... i had better go - its taken me about an hour to write this...
I am staying at my Mum's and am at my Dads on Thursdays and some other ties during the week...
I hope this email hasnt made you feel worse, it wasnt meant to...
x

[LostNotFound]

crazy bitch gave it all away for sex at work ergh

[Gigabitch]

Wow. What a ****ing narcissist. She broke your heart and now wants you to absolve her. She wants you to yell at her so she doesn't feel guilty any more.

Don't do it. I know this is going to sound like a hollow comfort, but really, you're better off without this person. What a stroke of luck for you that she happened to flake out on you before you got married or had any children together.

It's going to take quite a while for you to untangle yourself from her- eight years is a long time, and splitting up is hell, even if you want the split, which it sounds like you didn't.

This is an opportunity, actually. Please try to see whatever silver lining there is to be found.

The best direction to take is the No Contact rule. Don't talk to her, don't answer her messages (besides a curt one that says "Don't ever contact me again", so she knows to leave you alone), if there are still things that she needs to come and pick up from the house, give her a week and then send it all off to the bin.

After I got divorced, I got rid of almost everything, starting with my bed. You should do this too. In fact, sell that house and buy a different one.

[Mathias]

crazy bitch gave it all u for sex at work ergh

I wish I understood this.

[Only-virgins]

Who gets the house?!?!??!

[squirrley]

She's wanting to make sure she's off of the hook and not feel the guilt anymore. Of course she wants to hear from you. DONT DO IT! You may feel keeping in contact with her will allow closure of some kind, but it will only linger on, which is unfair to you. She ended it, so you have to pull your bootstraps up and move on. She sounds like she wants to know youre still going to pine over her too, dont give her that satisfaction. She does sound like she cares about you, but the fact is is that she ended it, and she doesnt have the choice to keep you on the back burner. Giga is right, you have to move on and dont contact her. She is right, you will be fine!

[LostNotFound]

opps i meant she gave it all away

[bloodtippedrose]

Ugh. Eight years. I am sorry. In my opinion you should not waste anymore of your time with this woman. Dont talk things out, dont meet up with her anywhere, dont fight with her, dont cry to her and do NOT get back together with her. Whats best for both parties is to cut yourself from her completely and continue on like it never happened. That way you heal faster and she can reflect on how great of a guy you really were, what she gave up and for what? instead of having your new arguments getting in the way of her reflecting. Just bought a house yeah? She must have knew in the back of her head that she wanted to break up with you or didnt want to get that serious and that buying a house was a step forward in a relationship she wanted to back out of.

Whatever happens best of luck.

[gpxcrazy]

Omg so sorry to say that! BUT shes worthless Piece oF C*aP! Dont u even think of talking to her anymore AT ALL.shes trying to make herself to look good.and all that crap that i care for you and always will its bullsh*t! if she would care for u on the first place she would have never done anything like that...eventually she will get punished later on in life for what she did! DUMB B*tCH!

[IndiReloaded]

Wow. What a ****ing narcissist. She broke your heart and now wants you to absolve her. She wants you to yell at her so she doesn't feel guilty any more.

Don't do it. I know this is going to sound like a hollow comfort, but really, you're better off without this person. What a stroke of luck for you that she happened to flake out on you before you got married or had any children together.

It's going to take quite a while for you to untangle yourself from her- eight years is a long time, and splitting up is hell, even if you want the split, which it sounds like you didn't.

This is an opportunity, actually. Please try to see whatever silver lining there is to be found.

The best direction to take is the No Contact rule. Don't talk to her, don't answer her messages (besides a curt one that says "Don't ever contact me again", so she knows to leave you alone), if there are still things that she needs to come and pick up from the house, give her a week and then send it all off to the bin.

After I got divorced, I got rid of almost everything, starting with my bed. You should do this too. In fact, sell that house and buy a different one.

This^. This, this, this^. She's scum. Watch, the guy will dump her soon & she'll come crying back. Try to move on before that happens so you can blow her off with gusto, pref with another girl on your arm.

PS don't answer that letter.