I like her so much.......but how do i deal with this problem?

[nyman]

First off, id like to say that this girl i have been seeing is absolutely amazing!!! I have never even felt one tenth for another girl as i feel for this one. I am lead to the question, if this isnt love, what is? She feels the same way i do as well, she has told me so.....

But, in our tradition (we have same exact background), many parents dont see any point to girls dating if it isnt going to be for marriage, so since we are both 18, i wouldnt be accepted becaue im not ready for marriage( if i was like 24, it'd be different.) Plus the fact that im not a millionare with a bmw doesnt bode well for me, lol (but its a serious thing, sad aint it?). Anyways, i, personally, have come to the conclusion, that even if we'll be dating in secret, she is 100% worth it. But it is still so discouraging, i want to tell everyone how i feel, and that i am dating the best girl in the world. I wouldnt even be able to tell my uncle (who i live with) because we live in the same community, and boy do people talk. I would never be able to hang out with her in our town, only when she is visiting my dorm (we go to same university). I needed, some advice, what do you guys think i should do? what tips do you have for "secret" dating?Thanks a lot

[sfalexi]

I know of someone in this situation. If the girl's cool with it and worth it, go ahead and secretly date. No reason to stop because other people don't 'like it'. Plus, if it's gonna mean REAL trouble (like getting kicked out of your house or something) then don't tell. Just let her know the situation and continue dating. Pick her up and bring her here or there.

What the other person has to do is have HIS friend (a girl) pick up his date at her house (since her parents don't want him dating a Puerto Rican - doesn't racism suck?!). She then transfers to his car a few blocks away and they continue the date. Seems to be working.

Just let her know the situation and what would happen if you DID tell your family you were dating. If she likes you enough, she'll be willing to help you get around them.

Alexi

[Pretender]

If it is going go be mass chaos if people find out you two are seeing eachother keep it quiet. I can't really think of any tips for you except not to tell ANYONE that you dont trust with your life and soul, and maybe not even them!

This girl sound worth it. I hope you two live happily ever after.

[nyman]

Originally posted by sfalexi
I know of someone in this situation. If the girl's cool with it and worth it, go ahead and secretly date. No reason to stop because other people don't 'like it'. Plus, if it's gonna mean REAL trouble (like getting kicked out of your house or something) then don't tell. Just let her know the situation and continue dating. Pick her up and bring her here or there.

What the other person has to do is have HIS friend (a girl) pick up his date at her house (since her parents don't want him dating a Puerto Rican - doesn't racism suck?!). She then transfers to his car a few blocks away and they continue the date. Seems to be working.

Just let her know the situation and what would happen if you DID tell your family you were dating. If she likes you enough, she'll be willing to help you get around them.

Alexi

Maybe i wasnt clear, my family is perfectly fine with me dating her. it is her family thats the problem. You see guys can date whoever whenever, girls cannot.

[sfalexi]

Then it's the same with my aquiantance. Have her meet you here or there and then take one car from there. And if she needs an excuse, try to find a REALLY good friend who's a girl and have her pretend it's her friend from college or something. Then have that friend drop her off at your car a few blocks over or whatever. That's how my aquaintance gets the job done.

Alexi

[Buotro]

All of that to date some Puerto Rican guy who her parents don't like. Wouldn't it be easier to find someone who they do like? After all, she owes them for bringing her ass into this world.

[IceQueen]

You're doing all right. Just keep at it. Good luck!

[peshkunta]

Why keep it a secret? So what if her parents don't like you. Alot of times it's a turnoff for a girl if her parents like someone she likes. Secret, sure, but only for the thrill of it, not 'cause you're scared her parents will hate you. Go for it man. Live your life. Don't let others live it for you.

[nyman]

No, if they found out, she would seriously be in huge trouble. The problem isnt that they dont like me, it is that they cant know that i exist. Anyways, latest update is that we have been together A LOT on campus lately, and go out occasionaly, the fact is that i have come to the conclusion that this girl is worth it...i really feel like we were meant to be together. We shall see..........by the way, this weekend should be interesting, i am invited to a wedding of a family freind, and her family is invited too, i will get to see her parents for the first time, i wonder what they say when they see ME talking to her.

[dragoon]

Originally posted by nyman
Maybe i wasnt clear, my family is perfectly fine with me dating her. it is her family thats the problem. You see guys can date whoever whenever, girls cannot.

Then she is, even if indirectly, bringing this friction into the relationship. It's up to you to decide if you're ok with that (and sounds like you are). If so, then what's the big deal? But what's it going to be like if you're still sneaking around with her a month, 6 months, years down the road? We're often willing to put up with issues in the beginning because we're so infatuated. But if not dealt with properly they could really blow up down the line.

[DuckyWucky]

Originally posted by Buotro
All of that to date some Puerto Rican guy who her parents don't like. Wouldn't it be easier to find someone who they do like? After all, she owes them for bringing her ass into this world.

You're an idiot.

[sfalexi]

I second Ducky Wucky up there.

[PandaCivic]

man, i agree too. what are you thinking? i owe my parents my life because they had sex and gave birth to me.

[sfalexi]

For all I know I could owe Trojan my life because of a broken condom. So maybe I should date whoever Trojan approves of . . .

Alexi

[peshkunta]

I think, parents have good intentions...but they don't realize that the people who can hurt their child most are also the ones who can make it happiest.