how to counter playing hard to get

[lastwish]

A guy asked me out and I said yes but in the middle of him asking me what kind of movies I want to watch, I told him I needed to go offline (we were chatting online) because I needed to finish off something important. I told him I will talk about the movie later because we really didn't set up an actual date yet. After that he stopped logging on as often. I think we haven't spoke for about a week since then. However, I see that he had posted all his contact information (home number, mobile number, home address, etc). Is he playing hard to get and wanted me to call him or what? And just because he posted his phone number for everyone to see doesn't mean he actually want me to call him since he didn't tell me personally I can, right? How should I counter his playing hard to get? Call him and show him I'm sincerely interested or wait until he approaches me? (he was the one that came after me first)

[bohemiandonut]

Oh thank god I got here before GrkScorp!

Okay, let's get real. This is not the kind of game you want to initiate a relationship with. Just send him a short message somehow. Something like "so did you settle on a movie yet princess?" Trust me the game of "who cares less" gets old really fast.

[TheSphinx]

Trust me the game of "who cares less" gets old really fast.

My thoughts exactly.

While he should be the one to contact you and get things arranged, he might the type who needs a little encouragement.

~Sphinx

[okapa]

He is interested, or he wouldn't ask you to begin with.

If you are interested, you should have shown interest from the begining, so call him before its too late.

But don't get attached just yet.

[vashti]

Yeah, I think if a guy summoned up the courage to do the asking, you need to go the extra mile in letting him know you reciprocate his interest. Telling him you had to go so abruptly probably felt to him like he was being blown off. I think you should make the next contact.

[wxyz00]

I'd say send him an email and indicate your wishes to materialize that movie date.... a phone call without actually him giving his number to you may not be too smooth...

[GrkScorp]

Yeah, I think if a guy summoned up the courage to do the asking, you need to go the extra mile in letting him know you reciprocate his interest. Telling him you had to go so abruptly probably felt to him like he was being blown off. I think you should make the next contact.

I must have entered the twilight zone or something.. wow, i'm touched..

Yes, follow what Vash said, and put ego aside.. delete the whole (I want him to.. blah blah blah.. I don't want to.. blah blah blah)

He came up to you.. you basically acted in a way that he could consider (brushing off, not interested).. why? Because you don't evem know.. it's instinctive, and you're a girl, and you get scared, and flake on people; including yourself.. it's not your fault.. it's your nature..

But, all that drama aside.. for all you know.. he maybe now thinks that you're not interested.. so while you're home waiting for him to make his next move (so princess doesn't have to do any work), he's home thinking of why you brushed him off (and there's no way in hell he's going to take an extra step with someone he thinks just brushed him off)..

So now, the ball is on your court (usually where little girls fail), and it's up to you to convey interest in him (to allow him to feel that it's mutual; or at least, that you didn't brush him off)..

In the future, stop this! When someone asks you out, either say YES, or say (i'm sorry, but i'm seeing someone else right now, and he's a really jealous mixed martial artist; and you seem like a really nice guy.. I don't even want to think about what he did to the last guy I was talking to).. this is a "NO".. the worst thing you can do is give a "MAYBE" answer such as "I can't, i'm busy, but.." which leaves the window for hope and can't be interpreted as a "NO"..

Inexperienced guys take "Maybe" answers to mean "YES" or "Maybe".. while experienced guys take "Maybe" answers to be "NO" answers..

From what it sounds like.. he probably thinks you either brushed him off, or that you're a shy goody-two-shoes nice girl who's too scared to talk to him.. (in either case, you only have about a handfull of days before you loses interest in you).. so just call him up and tell him that you're (going to/doing somewhere/something this week/weekend and just wanted to "hang out").. don't wussy out of this one by thinking "oh no! that's too obvious".. it's better if it is.. but chances are; unless you're saying "I really like you, and because i'm so interested in you, I want us to go on a date this week if you have time".. he's not going to get the hint or catch on..

To a guy.. "hang out" means "hand out".. ONLY the word "date" means "date".. when speaking male.. words actually mean what they're supposed to mean in the english language.. This may sound strange and complex.. but this is how men communicate & understand things.. you can litterally just call him to your place to "watch a movie" and he wouldn't get the hint.. he wouldn't even bring condoms.. and his honest reason would be "if you told me I was comming over to have sex, I would have brought them, but you just told me you wanted to see a movie"..

So, don't bother re-thinking the idea that "oh no! this is too obvious, I can't say that.. blah blah".. unless he's metro-sexual or borderline gay, he'll be totally clueless and oblivious to your female lingo..

[GrkScorp]

Trust me the game of "who cares less" gets old really fast.

Yeah, for guys.. which is why it doesn't ever get you the guy you really want..

The game doesn't get old on girls though.. and since they feel that this works on them.. they rationalize "oh, this stuff works on me; it MUST work on him"..

Have you noticed that the sheer majority of guys; nearly ALL.. don't use this on girls.. again; for the same rationalization reason.. "that's dumb, that would never work on me, I would just think the other person isn't interested and then leave".. so almost no guys use this one girls.. (they should though; it works on girls.. not on guys)

Same thing with jealousy plot-lines.. my ex-gf actually complained that "how come you don't get jealous when other guys talk to me?".. I wanted to say "because i'm a guy".. but instead I mumbled "because I don't get jealous".. kind of a vague answer, I realized that just now.. but it used to irritate her.. and the reason is that because when other girls would talk to ME, she would be boiling on the inside.. (not because she was a very jealous person or anything; this is the case with nearly all of my exes, and all of my friends' exes and gf's)..

So, if this thing turns out to be a relationship.. please.. don't waste his time; and your time.. in trying to gauge how much he cares about you.. via jealousy plot-lines.. it's not that he doesn't care about you.. it's just that guys don't get jealous.. and if they do.. it doesn't mean they care.. it just means they're insecure (a primal fear that you are too good for him; and that you may come to realize it, so he must protect his investement in you before you realize that there are better guys than him out there that have more to offer you; and he is left with lower quality women once you dump him.. or no women at all..).. that's the only thing that jealousy entails for men.. (men & women are different!)

[Mathias]

Yeah, for guys.. which is why it doesn't ever get you the guy you really want..

The game doesn't get old on girls though.. and since they feel that this works on them.. they rationalize "oh, this stuff works on me; it MUST work on him"..

Have you noticed that the sheer majority of guys; nearly ALL.. don't use this on girls.. again; for the same rationalization reason.. "that's dumb, that would never work on me, I would just think the other person isn't interested and then leave".. so almost no guys use this one girls.. (they should though; it works on girls.. not on guys)

Same thing with jealousy plot-lines.. my ex-gf actually complained that "how come you don't get jealous when other guys talk to me?".. I wanted to say "because i'm a guy".. but instead I mumbled "because I don't get jealous".. kind of a vague answer, I realized that just now.. but it used to irritate her.. and the reason is that because when other girls would talk to ME, she would be boiling on the inside.. (not because she was a very jealous person or anything; this is the case with nearly all of my exes, and all of my friends' exes and gf's)..

So, if this thing turns out to be a relationship.. please.. don't waste his time; and your time.. in trying to gauge how much he cares about you.. via jealousy plot-lines.. it's not that he doesn't care about you.. it's just that guys don't get jealous.. and if they do.. it doesn't mean they care.. it just means they're insecure (a primal fear that you are too good for him; and that you may come to realize it, so he must protect his investement in you before you realize that there are better guys than him out there that have more to offer you; and he is left with lower quality women once you dump him.. or no women at all..).. that's the only thing that jealousy entails for men.. (men & women are different!)

This is the best post I've seen from you.

[moonlight]

This is the best post I've seen from you.

ditto !