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Thread: Having problems in bed

  1. #1
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    Having problems in bed

    For some reason when I'm with my girlfriend and we're in bed, I don't have trouble getting an erection, but as soon as a put a condom on, it goes back down. It's kind of embarassing, and I have no clue why it's happening. It wasn't always a full on erection, but it was just about there, and pretty soon after I put the condom on, it went back down to just a partial one.

    I'm a virgin, so shouldn't I be more sensitive anyway? I'm young, in good shape, and attracted to my girlfriend, so I shouldn't have any trouble. We do make out for a good while before we start, could I just be getting tired of it and losing my erection or something? I have no clue what's causing it, so any help is welcome. Thanks a bunch!

    -Crispy

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    Barring any physiological causes, I'd say it's probably performance anxiety, which is common. Psychological causes such as stress, anxiety, guilt, depression, low self-esteem, and pressure from a new partner can result in erection problems. Anxiety over one's ability/inability to maintain erections creates additional pressure and may contribute to the problem.

    To diminish the problem, I'd avoid smoking (reduces blood flow to penis), keep your weight in a healthy range, and avoid drinking alcohol in excess as well as avoiding illegal drugs (both restrict blood flow to the penis). If you are having a problem managing stress, you might want to address that, too.
    Last edited by vashti; 07-02-08 at 05:30 AM.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    I think this is pretty common, Crispy, and it's not an insurmountable problem. I suggest getting her to put it on. Make the condom part of the sex experience, not a detour that leads to a dead end. If you tell her it will turn you on, she might get into it.
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    Alright, Thanks. It was pissing me off, everything would be going fine, and then it's gone. I don't smoke or use drunks, I don't drink much, and I'm 21 and in pretty good shape (I work out 4-5 days a week and run at least 2-3 miles a day, usually more). It was the first time we had done more than just make out, but it happened two nights in a row, so it worried me.

    -Crispy

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    I actually had the same problem back when I was still a little wet behind the ears. I agree its common. The gravest danger is that you'll start avoiding condoms because you're not confident with them, and then end up with a dick looking like a picnic bar.

    To get over it, I just got used to wearing them when I wanked. Everytime I wanked for a week I wore one. Then the next time I had sex with one on no problem at all. Now condoms are my best friend. I haven't had sex without one in years.

    You need to get so you can pull one out, open the packet and slipping it on with minimal interruption to the flow of things. Try and kiss her a few times while you're doing it. Don't just be like "OK - STOP I NEED TO PUT A CONDOM ON NOW". So she has to sit and watch you do it like a third leg.
    Last edited by Charlie Boy II; 07-02-08 at 05:28 AM.

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    Charlie beat me to it;

    masturbate with a condom. Condition yourself to accept condoms as part of getting off. And don't stress- this is absolutely normal. Don't fall into the trap of getting soooo self-conscious about it that it becomes a vicious circle.

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    Thanks. And I would NEVER try it without a condom, too risky.

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    Maybe you need different condoms? Try getting ultra-thins and wearing two at a time. Guys have told me how affraid they are of getting the girl pregnant, and it could be affecting your penis. So give it a try and see what happens.

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    Quote Originally Posted by v0ndutch View Post
    Maybe you need different condoms? Try getting ultra-thins and wearing two at a time. Guys have told me how affraid they are of getting the girl pregnant, and it could be affecting your penis. So give it a try and see what happens.
    what the ****? Wearing two condoms causes friction between them, making them much more likely to break.

    However, trying a different condom brand is a good idea. My bf found durex to be a huge improvement on trojan.
    I wouldn't try any fancy condom types yet though.. just get used to the regular ones first.

    and, if you want added pregnancy protection, get an additional form of birth control, such as the pill.

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    I thought that "wear two condoms" was a joke about how poxy you thought the girl was.
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    I had this same problem Crunchy. Some tips:

    1. Have the condom open, with the rubber sitting in a sanitary place (on the wrapper) in a convenient location. Yeah.. this only works if intercourse is a guarantee but it's the best method.
    2. Have her give you head while you fumble around with the package.
    3. Teamwork. Pinch the tip while she unrolls the thing around you.
    4. LUBE. All the prep in the world isn't going to help the supreme boner-killing awkwardness of a botched entry. Just make sure you hit the right slot...

    Also make sure to urinate before anything. Otherwise you'll be droopin' Crispy. You will definitely be droopin'.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bohemiandonut View Post
    I had this same problem Crunchy. Some tips:

    1. Have the condom open, with the rubber sitting in a sanitary place (on the wrapper) in a convenient location. Yeah.. this only works if intercourse is a guarantee but it's the best method.
    2. Have her give you head while you fumble around with the package.
    3. Teamwork. Pinch the tip while she unrolls the thing around you.
    4. LUBE. All the prep in the world isn't going to help the supreme boner-killing awkwardness of a botched entry. Just make sure you hit the right slot...

    Also make sure to urinate before anything. Otherwise you'll be droopin' Crispy. You will definitely be droopin'.

    LOL, manuals...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiay View Post
    what the ****? Wearing two condoms causes friction between them, making them much more likely to break.

    However, trying a different condom brand is a good idea. My bf found durex to be a huge improvement on trojan.
    I wouldn't try any fancy condom types yet though.. just get used to the regular ones first.

    and, if you want added pregnancy protection, get an additional form of birth control, such as the pill.
    Trojan doesnt have to go through customs like foreign condoms do to get shipped into the states. Everyone should know that anything "american made" is code for "half-assed" ;P I dont really care though, anything free from planned parenthood is good enough for me

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    Quote Originally Posted by bloodtippedrose View Post
    Everyone should know that anything "american made" is code for "half-assed"
    No, I DON'T know that, and American exports being what they are, I would guess the rest of the world doesn't know it, either.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    I haven't had much of a chance to really do it lately, but you don't htink I have ED or anything do you?

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