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Thread: My ex keeps sending me messages...

  1. #1
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    My ex keeps sending me messages...

    Ok, so over a month ago my ex dumped me because of arguments we had. She had attempted to cheat on me and was finally 'successful' last year. I was crushed, she eventually came back. I forgave her, but she didn't want to work for my trust. She wasn't patient and wanted me to trust her right away, no questions asked. I told her, being that I am human, that I needed time, but she continued to make me feel guilty for having trouble completely trusting her instead of helping me. Anyway, sshe said we were done and that she "needed to see what was out there." In reality, she is exactly the same person she was a year ago and what she really wants is to sleep with as many girls as possible. Whatever.

    The thing is, we have bills (and some minor possessions) in common. So I expected to have to talk to her once a month, when we got paid, to figure out the payments. I still love this douchebag, so I was all concerned about that ONE time (or so I thought) I'd have to hear from her and respond. She knows that within the first few days of each month is when we both get paid, so I didn't expect a message until early March (I had made the February payments myself). However, she has been using the bills as an excuse to contact me for annoying things she either already knows or can find out on her own like any other person on earth. She'll ask, what I deem to be at least, retarded questions, such as "Why are these interest charges on my account?" or "How do I know when they will be charged?" or "How much are the bills going to be?" (this last message came two weeks ago when she knew that there were no minimum payments available yet). She'll also ask me about things I had clearly told her had been already done. Moreover, she will check up on me by seeing my activities on several sites.

    I don't want her to talk to me until the time comes to pay the bills (I'm glad she hasn't shown up at my house because she only lives 15min away!). I think she is using these retarded questions as a way to fish for information. I think she expects me to break down at the first site of contact with her and be all like, "Those charges are there because...DO YOU STILL LOVE ME? CAN WE BE TOGETHER? PLEASE."

    My questions is: should I respond to these questions myself, ignore them or tersely tell her to go ask her bloody credit card company as she should have done in the first place?

    I just don't know why she is asking me things she could find out by going to the credit card website. It angers me that she put me through so much and that everything I gave her wasn't good enough, but that she feels she can use me for things like these. I just don't get how she can message me as if nothing had gone wrong between us. I also still think she has other motives for asking these things. I really feel she wants to see how I react to her and whether I will break down. So what would be the best, least bitter way to go about this?
    Last edited by Lolita345; 01-03-08 at 12:11 PM.

  2. #2
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    You should separate all bills you have with her, so you two can continue your life as individuals. Then she won't have an excuse to continue calling you with all of these questions.
    Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
    Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
    Towards the sun, carry your name
    In warm hands you are given
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    Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mishanya View Post
    You should separate all bills you have with her, so you two can continue your life as individuals. Then she won't have an excuse to continue calling you with all of these questions.
    Exactly, and learn your lesson: keep your money separate. Period.
    Spammer Spanker

  4. #4
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    IndiReloaded is offline Yawning
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    BTW, as to the messages: you ignore them. Delete them as soon as you get them. If she's after attention (likely), she's looking for an answer. If you don't 'feed the beast', eventually she'll stop bugging you.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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