Already set a 3rd date but....

[TinyIrish]

During our first date he asks me "are you one of those girls that rush into a relationship?" Of course I said no. The day between our first and second date he let it be known he was going to a basketball game with a girl. Second date he was telling me about how he couldn't help his father lay carpet because he had a friend coming into town (he later let it slip it was a female). So I finally asked him how many girls he was talking to - his response "Oh the girl this weekend is a friend from college, but I'm talking to two others" - which makes me number three. Anyway at the end of date 2 I told him to have a great weekend, that I wouldn't bother him since he had company coming into town...SO my questions are:

Is it worth my effort to go on the third date, is he still just playing the field, was he just attempting to be open and honest about his actions (since I don't think players usually tell a girl about their "other" women?) or is this something new that men are doing (i.e. "dating" several women at once, and then picking one a month or so down the road?)

[Mish]

Is it worth my effort to go on the third date, is he still just playing the field, was he just attempting to be open and honest about his actions (since I don't think players usually tell a girl about their "other" women?) or is this something new that men are doing (i.e. "dating" several women at once, and then picking one a month or so down the road?)

Still playing the field by the sounds of it. Well, it's not uncommon when there are a few prospects. Some people need time to get to know all of them to later make up their mind and go with one. Personally I wouldn't reveal this information to the date, cause it's hurtful, but since he has, why don't you play the field as well? Then next time you could tell him about your dates as well? You could even be nasty, say something like you liked the fact that your last date had broad shoulders and you like that in a guy (Would be perfect especially if this guy doesn't have that). Who knows, maybe his attitude will change.

[vashti]

This isn't "new". This is what casual dating is supposed to look like. Why shouldn't people date more than one person at a time when they aren't sure who they like the most? As long as everyone is honest about it, and as long as you aren't jumping straight into bed with him, I say enjoy.

[Gigabitch]

Yeah, there's no reason not to date this guy, just be damned sure you don't end up in bed with him. He's been more than fair about being straightforward with you, which pretty much puts all of the responsibility on you to protect yourself emotionally.

Make sure you date others too. Don't sit by the phone waiting for this guy to call.

[bluesummer]

This is the world of casual dating....he has no commitment to you at this point, if you've only gone out once or twice. I would expect most guys to be casually dating more than one person.

I've done this myself. When I first met my current bf I was casually seeing two other guys at the same time, for about a month and a half. Over time, I realized he was the best choice and I gradually dropped the other two. So I say keep dating him, and see other people yourself. Who knows, maybe over time you guys will become exclusive.

[GrkScorp]

Is it worth my effort to go on the third date, is he still just playing the field, was he just attempting to be open and honest about his actions (since I don't think players usually tell a girl about their "other" women?) or is this something new that men are doing (i.e. "dating" several women at once, and then picking one a month or so down the road?)

I always wondered were the word "player" came from.. but I never settled on if it came from "playing the field" or "playing games"..

Guys who have other women; will NOT tell you about them, and they will also NEVER let it slip, not matter what tricks you try and pull out of your hat, or how indirectly you try and probe.. unless;

He is being open and honest, and just wants you to know from the very beginning, that he's seeing other women, and see if that bothers you and if you're ok with that.. Reason?

- There seems to be some upward trend in the number of guys who are taking part in "harems", "multiple-long-term-relationships".. and a big part of that, is being open and honest up-front, and letting each girl know exactly what she's about to get into, and be part of, and manage all expectations, making it perfectly clear that you have no exlusive rights to him, and he may even introduce you to the other girls

But, i'm actually a bit taken back that you picked up on the last thing.. looks like someone is a little too perceptive..

- Yes, this is what guys are doing.. and no matter how much you nag or cry about it, it's not going to change.. They will date/test/screen/qualify several women at a time, and slowly let go of the ones that don't meet their standards, and get new potential talent to take their place.. In which case, what you're doing is NOT (dating), he's still qualifying you..

- This will go on, until he disqualifies you, or he settles on you and lets go of the rest.. Seriously.. very VERY few guys are looking to go the MLTR-route.. one LTR is enough.. He can be nice, i'm usually nice, I just start paying less attention to the person, and intentionally destroy attraction and interest until they leave (it's easier on their ego to think "she" made the choice to leave; and it's better than ignoring or lying).. but if a guy is interested in you to the point where he wants to settle for you exclusively, he WILL stop seeing all those other girls, and he WILL be exclusive to YOU, and you alone..

So the only real question is, what your other options are, and how much you really like him; putting aside the issue of the other two women (because if he's still seeing YOU, think about it, they mean nothing! If they did mean something, he would stop seeing, calling, talking to you immediately and would let you know he's "dating" or "in a relationship with" someone else)

It's all up to you, but if your intuition is anything like your perception of things, i'm sure you'll make the right choice on you own..