To fight or not to fight?

[Kiechi]

Yes, she is worth it. Yes, I am 1000 x better than her ex in every way possible. She's talking to her ex BF because she finding it hard to get over him, being in a 2 year relationship and all. She's in limbo. Question, do I fight do I get what I want? Or do I move on? I want her, so I know what I got to do. There's always a possibility.

[misombra]

are you a fighter keechie? do it.

[NeoSeminole]

one of the worst feelings is regret. I think you already know what to do.

[Mish]

Go for it, but don't fight. Be smooth. Be the water underneath her boat that sails into the sunset. There's no need to fight. You are 1000 times better than her ex and both of you know it. She may need some time to get over him, but it will happen. It will happen because you'll be there for her every step of the way. You'll be there to tell her that it's okay to have some feelings for ex lovers and that she shouldn't deny them. She will choose you because you ARE better, you're the bigger man. You will support her and not abuse her like him and all will be swell

[Illusional]

the question is, does her ex want her back? if he does, then you're already at a huge disadvantage.

raverboy

[Kiechi]

Yes, he does. The original plan was to act distant, not too interested. Maybe the plan backfired? Now it's time to change game plan? Become more "emotional" maybe? Make sure I'm always around and gradually try and change that figure of her EX always being there with me?

Maybe I need to pull off a GRK plan.

[Illusional]

hrmm... how long ago did they break up? you might have said previously, but i didn't scroll through your entire post. if it's not recent, then linger all you want to. however, keep in mind that he'd probably want to scrap later.

raverboy

[Mish]

Yes, he does. The original plan was to act distant, not too interested. Maybe the plan backfired? Now it's time to change game plan? Become more "emotional" maybe? Make sure I'm always around and gradually try and change that figure of her EX always being there with me?

Maybe I need to pull off a GRK plan.

Don't fight it. He'll expect you to. He'll want her to see your negative qualities. He'll want her to see how you struggle. Be positive. Actually encourage her to spend time with him. Tell her you're fine with it. All of his flaws, all of the reasons why they broke up in the first place will be there. Let her revisit them and see for herself that her nostalgic dreams were just that dreams without any substance or basis in reality. Just tell her to be clear with what she wants, if she's in doubt then you're out the door.

What's the worst that can happen? She'll hook up with him again? That's great news for you. It means she's not ready for a relationship and you're simply wasting your time with her. She doesn't understand your value (and your value is great) and you can easily spend your value on someone else out there.

[vashti]

I don't know what you mean by "emotional", but don't go acting all desperate. She needs to see you as strong, or she will lose respect for you.

I disagree with the idea of encouraging her to see him. I don't care for game-playing, and acting like you don't care will send the message that YOU DON'T CARE. Personally, I think it is much better to go straight to the point. Tell her you care about her. Does she care about you? Does she want to be exclusive with you? If so, she needs to walk away from her past. Yes, she may say that she is unwilling to stop contact with her ex, but this means you never really had a chance, anyway. You can't invest yourself in a new relationship when you are all caught up in an old one.

[Gigabitch]

Make it clear that the reason you haven't gone right for her in the first place is that she's still got his stink all over her. Don't fight so much as tell her how it's gonna be: the ex has got to go, and until he does, no Kiechi for her.

[Tedel]

Why do you ask us? Just listen to your heart and follow its instructions. It's many times worth doing it.

[Junket]

CRASH AND BURN MOTHA****A!







Then you'll know when to stop.

[bluesummer]

I think, like most people have said, go for it. Just be up front with her, and tell her that you really like her and want to be with her, but if she keeps mooning over her ex, that's not acceptable.

Honestly, if she can't see your value over him, then she's really not worth your time....let her run back to her ex. She needs to sort herself and THAT relationship out before she'll be fully ready to move onto another one. Make sure she's done this before you invest too much into her emotionally.

[Illusional]

Why do you ask us? Just listen to your heart and follow its instructions. It's many times worth doing it.

my heart always tells listen to your dick because we work together. when you're horny, you're always lovey dovey, and then as soon and you burst, it's all over.

raverboy

[MadKat]

Nice guys die last and suffer the most...

I think is best to let go of the feeling. She will come back to you once her mind is cleared up and ready. Just keep in touch with her...