Well for around three years I've been best friends with a girl who I've been in love with. For the majority of our relationship she didn't know I was in love with her and it wasn't tell 5 or so months ago I admitted my feelings to her. She didn't return my feelings but we maintained our friendship. She's the closest person I've been to and the same goes for her she says.
There was a point in time where she told me she did have feelings for me, but she wasn't sure exactly what was going. At one point I asked her "do you have relationship feelings for me" and she openly said yes. Two days later I asked her if she had them and she said they "went away." I was devastated. At that point I didn't know what to do, but we eventually moved on and have continued our relationship as best friends.
The above is all in the past now. We're still best friends, we tell each other we love one another (as friends, obviously) and she continually tells me I'm the most important think to her. A few weeks ago she entered a relationship with a guy, which is something I fully supported, even though it'd make me sad. I want her to be happy, even if it isn't with me. But there's a problem... I'm her best friend and all, but things are changing. She's acting less interested in me as of late, she appears distracted and just doesn't seem to have the will to talk to me anymore. I know a lot of it is in my head, but something happened today that shocked me. She's been going out with this guy for like 3 weeks and she has liked him for months before this... but today she told me she made love to him the night before. A few days ago she told me she wasn't ready to make love yet, and with me knowing that I wasn't worried about it because I thought she was telling the truth.
Today when she told me she had sex I immediately was submerged in sadness. I felt so alone, sad, and filled with despair. If she had told me beforehand that she was going to be having sex, I would have still felt weird but I wouldn't be that upset because I'd know she was going to commit to that beforehand. She knows I love her, and she's says I'm the most important person to her... but how important must I be if she doesn't even tell me, a person who is in love with her, that she is going to have sex? She just did it, and I felt betrayed.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to completely cut off contact, but it kills me to know she's with someone else... having sex. I'm not a jealous guy, but I love her so much that it's a lot of pain to handle. If I ended our relationship as best friends, I know it'd kill me. But is that what I have to do to end this permanent emotional hell? Just cut off all contact?
I need advice, please. Anything.
Thank you.