Dont know what to do anymore...

[G-ram]

Well here goes...

I am fifteen years old, almost sixteen, and have liked this girl for the last three-four years. At one point, a couple years ago, I went out with her, but it went terribly, and I was afraid to phone her half the time. I have completely changed now, and we are good friends, but I am afraid I have got myself stuck in the friend zone, with no way out. It is now well beyond me "liking" her, and I am absolutely positive I am in love with her, as I would be willing to take a bullet for her in a heartbeat. I told her this once and she replied "wow, im sorry." Score one for me.

She has gone out with a lot of people and never seems happy, and now likes an older guy because he is "funny, smart, and nice unexpectedly." He does not like her at all, and calls her names and stuff, but when they are drunk I guess he is nice to her.

Anyhow, I cannot get over her, and as one of my friends constantly says, I don't want to get over her, I want to get under her. I cant get her out of my mind, and have no idea what to do.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[vashti]

It sucks to be 15, doesn't it?

Well, the only tried-and-true way to get over a girl is to cut all contact, and keep yourself really busy until the feeling goes away, and it WILL (if you let it). It may take some time, though. After you have cut contact for a couple of months, I suggest you think about asking other girls out.

[G-ram]

It is a terrible age...

But the thing is, I don't want to get over her, and I doubt I could anyway. Nothing is really fun when shes not there, and besides, at school I hang out with the same people she does, so to cut contact would be impossible.

Even if I found away to not see her for 6 months, or whatever, I think I would see her smile and it would all come rushing back.

[G-ram]

Any advice?

[Mish]

If you don't want to get over her, then go out with her, show her a good time. Ahh, as friends only! You're not after her, you're not chasing her, you just want to have a blast together like two good friends should.

And then, when she's having a good time, remember how to make her feel this way and do it again and again and again, until she slowly starts to see you as that "funny, smart, and nice unexpectedly" guy. And then after that, who knows what will happen, right? You have a crucial advantage over any competition, you're her friend and close to her. You don't need excuses to take her out and make her feel happy. You can just do it.

[vashti]

If you don't want to get over her, then continue what you are doing.

I think that's a bad idea, though. I know some guys haven't allowed themselves to move on, and they are in their mid-20s now. What a waste.