Disappointment in Ex-gf Bday Preparation

[altantic]

Hi, I was just wondering if I'm petty for being angry and upset. The story goes like this:

Today is my ex gf 's birthday. As a friend, I decided to do something for her birthday. I called at 12am first thing to sing and wish her. I also mms her the picture of the cake. I ask if I can meet her up to pass the cake and presents and she told me that she is going out canoeing and celebrating with her boyfriend and friends. I told her that I wouldn't disturb her party, just drop by her house (which is quite far and inconvenient) in the late morning to pass her the stuff. She said she is not feeling well (having a flu), and she is not sure if she is able to wake up. She said she will sms me when she woke up so I can go down and pass to her, then she'll go for canoeing.

On that morning, I couldn't sleep well, waiting for her to send me a message but she didn't. Afraid that I'm unable to make it in time, I sms her 11am to see if she is awake. She replied yes. I ask if I can drop by and she said No. She had to leave soon because she overslept and not sure where her boyfriend will bring her. She asked me to pass her tomorrow (after her birthday) but near by my house instead. I have no choice but to agree.

To me, it does not serve any meaning if I give her the cake and present after her birthday. And I'm don't mind to deliver all the way to her house, but she couldn't meet me even for a while. She can't even remember my birthday! I felt very hurt and angry. . Am I very petty?

[Mish]

Well, look at it from her point of view mate. She has a boyfriend who is picking her up. How bad will it look to him if he sees you (her ex) giving her birthday presents when they are about to go on a trip together?

I understand your pain and frustration. It sounds like you still have feelings for her, but she's moved on now, she doesn't feel the same for you anymore. You need to move on as well and just treat her as a friend. Giving a friend a cake one day after the birthday, won't stir up the same sentimentalities in you. It sounds like you need to find a way to move on.

[frecklesinourIs]

Well I would say that you should probably ask yourself why she doesnt want to see you. Maybe she is worried that you are not over her, because it doesnt sound like it. Maybe it is because she has a new boyfriend, who is upset with you coming around. For whatever reason, it sounds like she may want you to back down a little bit.

Honestly if my ex did that, I would feel akward. And if my bf's ex did that, I would definitely be opposed!

[1averagejoe]

Well...don't want to sound to harsh man. But the friends thing never works out too well after you were in a relationship. And in this case it seems like she doesn't want you around anymore. She's got a boyfriend and you seem to be coming off as clingy. You called her at 12 in the morning she told you she thought she has the flu but was going canoeing? Plus no offense but I'd be pissed if anyone called me at 12am on my birthday to tell me happy birthday. It's my birthday let me sleep. My phone is on 24/7 if you NEED to call. I think she's trying to avoid you. Probably said she'd take the cake and present just to get you off her back. That probably would have been an awkward situation for all of you if you did show up.

You're not over her, and this is a dead giveaway:

"To me, it does not serve any meaning if I give her the cake and present after her birthday...I felt very hurt and angry."

A friend could care less if they gave it after their birthday. You're not over her. It's time to move on, break contact with her and find someone else. I know it's hard, but there's no other way.

[bohemiandonut]

The real thing to take from this is that she's a bitch and not worth your time.

[Illusional]

yes, why the hell are you still doing bullshit for your ex?? you can spend all that money on me instead...sucker.

raverboy

[misombra]

leave her alone.

it is not cool to be sending her cakes and gifts when she has a boyfriend.

it's also not cool to just drop by someone's house. you're bothering her, and she's eventually going to stop being nice about it.

leave her alone.

[Gigabitch]

It is so far over the boundary line for you to be doing this stuff for her birthday that I have to question whether you're aware of what it means that you two broke up. Broken up means you don't give her a cake. This is too much for ANY guy friend to be doing, let alone an ex.

Stop it before she slaps you with a restraining order.

[bohemiandonut]

I was worried about whether I needed to acknowledge my ex's birthday after a few months without her, so I asked my Dad. He told me that I was totally missing the best part of being single: not having to worry about such crap.

Thanks Dad!