Take her from another guy? moral?

[Shadow2121]

Before I joined the military, I worked with this co-worker who was a good friend of mine. We always flirted and had some chemistry, but we were just friends....Then she started having problems with her boyfriend (He cheated on her)...And apparently out of rage she told him that she had been sleeping with me, ( which she wasn't) and that the sex was way better. I told her not to get me into it, and helped fix things between her and him. Well, I'm back in town...and she sent me a text telling me she wished I never joined the military, and wants to go to a club with me this weekend....Shes still dating this guy.....I sort of feel guilty....what do I do?

[Gribble]

Do they have kids?

Is he a friend or blood relative?

If you answered no to the above she's fair game. There's nothing to feel bad about.

[GrkScorp]

If you answered no to the above she's fair game. There's nothing to feel bad about.

I strongly agree with Gribble on that one.., add to that:

Is she married?

Is she genuinely happy with the other guy? (then why ruin it?)

Is the guy a genuinely great guy? (in which case.., the question phrased an other way.., do you really want to date someone who doesn't appreciate or care about the other person?)

Best,

GrkScorp

[1averagejoe]

I'd personally would have been turned off how she brought you in between her and her ex.

A little too awkward for me.

[GrkScorp]

And apparently out of rage she told him that she had been sleeping with me, ( which she wasn't) and that the sex was way better. I told her not to get me into it, and helped fix things between her and him. Well, I'm back in town...and she sent me a text telling me she wished I never joined the military, and wants to go to a club with me this weekend....Shes still dating this guy.....I sort of feel guilty....what do I do?

First of all.., if she claims she told her bf that about you.., something that wasn't true.., what makes you think that everything she's told you about her bf is true? Even better question.., do you even really know if she really said that to her bf?

I think you should trust what trace of intuition you have.., and stay the fcuk away from crazy psychos like these.., this is someone who is emotionally unstable.., clearly.., unless that turns you on and you're into that sort of thing..

Best,

GrkScorp

[Cain]

I agree. She's unstable. She lies to get a reaction out of people.

And honestly, NO woman in a relationship is fair game. If the relationship is bad, she should end it. If she is willing to leave him for you she'll be willing to leave you for someone else.

[GrkScorp]

And honestly, NO woman in a relationship is fair game. If the relationship is bad, she should end it. If she is willing to leave him for you she'll be willing to leave you for someone else.

I agree.., while she's in a relationship.., you should wait for her to come out of it first.., before letting things get more serious..

If the relationship is bad.., yes.., let her end it..

However.., I'm partially dissenting in opinion.., that because she left a man with whom she had a "bad" relationship with.., this is not prima facie evidence in some way that she would leave you for someone else..

The grounds for which she would leave her previous boyfriend.., were because she was not happy with him.., genuinely.., not just making excuses to be with you.., and not just acting like she's not just making excuses to be with you either.., but that she was genuinely in a "bad" relationship..

If those are her reasons.., then what that does say about her.., is that she would leave you.., if:

- You are both in a bad relationship
- She is not happy
- There is someone else out there

I don't think it's fair to hold it against her that she would do this.., because this is only normal.., the very reason relationships fall apart:

- People realize they're in a bad relationship
- They are not happy
- And there may or may not be someone else

So while it is possible for her to leave you for someone else.., the two other conditions that must be satisfied.., are (bad relationship + not happy).., and if that's the case.., if that's what she feels with "you".., then in a relative sense.., the "other guy" is "better"..

Under this standard.., you would require her to stay with you.., even if she was not happy.., that's not fair to her..

There's nothing wrong with her leaving a man she was genuinely not happy with.., and if you don't want that man's fate.., then don't be that man.., make sure she's in a "good" relationship.., and that you're both happy.., then really.., you have nothing to worry about from other guys..

Best,

GrkScorp