Women getting married to younger guy

[IndiReloaded]

Ignorant people always think they are the most intellectual on earth... True saying.

My goodness, you do spout gibberish sometimes, CS. LOL!

The intensity of a conviction that a hypothesis is true has no bearing over whether it is true or not.

I'll let you look up the source--a not-so-ignorant intellectual, IMO.

[vashti]

I think young men believe women date older men solely because of money because they just can't accept the fact that they really don't measure up in many other ways.

Older men are more skilled in bed and less selfish, more mature, more sophisticated, more appreciative of women, more powerful, and yes, they make more money. True, they young guys will be there one day, but for younger women who are impatient, an older guy has a lot more to offer.

[Gribble]

Bah. Older men pick up nothing but bad habits and they're stuck in their ways.

Younger men are like unshaped clay, perfect for a woman to shape to her needs.

[vashti]

Bah. Older men pick up nothing but bad habits and they're stuck in their ways.

Younger men are like unshaped clay, perfect for a woman to shape to her needs.

True, only a younger woman usually doesn't know what her needs are.

[IndiReloaded]

Just to play devils advocate:

What's wrong with a woman saying she'd like a man to look after her financially? Seems as if there are plenty of guys who would be happy to look after such a woman.

OR

What's wrong with a woman wanting to marry a young trophy husband? I know a couple of relationships like this & it seems to work for them.

[GrkScorp]

I'd love to hear a wide variety of justifications for gold-digging before I draft my prenup

[Gribble]

When I'm fifty-ish I would love nothing more than a gold digger. Who cares if she doesn't love me, just so long as she's got a tight bod and I can flaunt her in front of all my friends and their pruny wives.

[GrkScorp]

When I'm fifty-ish I would love nothing more than a gold digger. Who cares if she doesn't love me, just so long as she's got a tight bod and I can flaunt her in front of all my friends and their pruny wives.

[GrkScorp]

When I'm fifty-ish I would love nothing more than a gold digger. Who cares if she doesn't love me, just so long as she's got a tight bod and I can flaunt her in front of all my friends and their pruny wives.

Honestly.., from a legal perspective.., a smart gold-digger.., gets married to a man "before" he starts making his money.., that way.., she's prenup proof.., and if need be.., can rip him apart in the divorce process..

Any income he made.., he made during marriage.., any increase in income he made (ie. from resident to doctor) he made during the marriage.., her attorney can argue for 50% of it.., (more importantly.., his attorney can't make the case that at the time of marriage.., the income was disproportional).., he acquired his first home during the marriage.., regardless if she's on the deed or not.., she's entitled to 50% because it's common property (as opposed to him owning the home prior to the marriage.., where she would be entitled to nothing).., he can't shield his income through an LLC or Family Partnership.., he can't shield his assets through an irrevocable Trust to which he is the sole beneficiary of.., and the prenup can easily be challenged if it places restrictions that are not deemed to be "fair".., namely.., alimony.. (that's all that's left really)

Translation: he's more fcuked if he got married when he was still in medical school or a resident.., than he would be if he was already a doctor..

[lesa]

Honestly.., from a legal perspective.., a smart gold-digger.., gets married to a man "before" he starts making his money.., that way.., she's prenup proof.., and if need be.., can rip him apart in the divorce process..

I've seen so many students get married that last semester or last year of their programs...I've seen many go that route. I am sure there are plenty of reasons (like continuing the relationship after they move) but I wonder sometimes.

[GrkScorp]

I've seen so many students get married that last semester or last year of their programs...I've seen many go that route. I am sure there are plenty of reasons (like continuing the relationship after they move) but I wonder sometimes.

No.., I wouldn't go so far as to wonder lesa

Honestly.., at the end of the day.., I know.., it's part of her nature to evaluate and assess any man's earning potential and the quality of life he can provide.., Independent or not.., it's a consideration.., and there's nothing wrong with that.., doesn't maker her a de facto gold-digger.., just the way it doesn't make a man a whore connoisseur if he more than wants to be next to someone who.., (isn't ugly.., is more than not ugly.., is quite good looking.., and plans to stay that way until she's 50).., it's not unreasonable to look for someone who is.., (beyond not ugly.., of a certain quality in character & personality.., and is a little bit more than just "not broke")

It comes to the point however.., where there exists a fine-line between gold-digging.., and love..

As a man.., if I love her.., and she loves me.., and there's that mutual dynamic in place.., and it's genuine.., then believe me.., everything I have.., she can have it.., because i'll want to give it to her.., i'll feel safe giving it to her.., but beyond not feeling like i'm being taken for a ride.., that's what i'll want to do..

In the Greek language.., it's called "axioprepia".., from the words "axio" & "prepis"

axio: dignity.., respect.., honor.., higher standing
prepis: worthy of.., should be
axioprepia: a state of being where one has and goes around having this state of dignity and status.., usually in relation to their spouse's status..

Take for example Mr. Smith.., doesn't he want his wife to walk around with a certain status.., he wants to be someone.., more for her than for himself.., because he knows it's important when she walks around and points to people and says.., "that's my husband".., even if she's not the kind of woman to do so.., just giving her that option.., will make her happy.., on top of that.., he wants to provide her with a certain quality in lifestyle.., naturally.., because he wants to make her happy.., they love each other.., he wants to know that his wife.., has money to go around shopping on the weekends and spoil herself or treat herself to something nice.., he wants to treat his wife to diners every now and then.., surprise her.., get her nice things.., get her thoughtful gifts.., sexually satisfy her.., take her to vacations all over the world.., he wants to do all these things.., because he knows how happy they make her.., how important they are for her.., even if she doesn't want them.., even if she doesn't ever ask for them.., that's what he feels like doing.., and it hurts him when he can't do all these things.., he wants her to have "axioprepia"

This is just natural.., it's this departure from a quid pro quo relationship that makes being in love so romantic.., but again.., truth be told.., and it's the same for both sexes.., the focus should first be.., "do I love him/her?".., and then.., "does he/she love me?".., it's easy to look at it from a skeptical and doubtful point of view.., that's a natural mental reaction that creates unmerited suspicion & doubt as a defensive reaction to keep you safe.., you'll find that your mind is naturally very conservative.. but it's up to you to work past your love cloud.., and then past your defensive & protective mentality.., and accurately assess the situation.., "is this love mutual?".., and if it is.., then it's not a matter of.., "i'll use this against her to get my way" or "i'll use this against him to get my way".., "I have to use this to be the one in control and have power over the relationship or else it'll get out of hand and he'll/she'll.." if you're still thinking that way.., you're not in love.., either that.., or you have deep trust issues..

Some guys don't give a sh*t.., they can't even think about 1 year from now.., much less 10 years from now.., so they are lax in their education.., and choose to work now just to have sex now that they're young.., that's one road to take..

Some guys are motivated to continue their education for the wrong reasons.., I remember James & Zoric telling me.., "honestly.., we all know why we're here.., it's not a degree to print money.., it's a degree in taking panties off".., that's honestly how they feel.., they're not just joking around.., they want trade money for sex.., they don't mind a gold-digger.., they want a whore.., and you'll find guys who are quite honest about the respect they have for women..

Some guys are motivated to continue their education.., and grow as individuals in life.., not because they plan on making any kind of love barter.., but because it's important for them to be able to give a certain lifestyle to their partner.., the woman they fall in love with.., these guys plan on falling in love.., genuinely.., and want to be able to give to their partner.., it's a fantasy of theirs.., and they are fully aware of the personal pleasure it gives them to make their partner happy and be part of his world..

"A successful man is one who gets great pleasure from making his wife happy.., and has the ability to do so.., a successful woman.., is one that finds a successful man"

This is why not appreciating anything that's done.., and even gold-digging are not a pleasant thought..

Making her happy is supposed to be a bonus.., the icing on the love cake.., something extra you'll give.., because you want to give it.., without expectation.., because you want to see her happy.., but if all of a sudden.., it's been the expectation all along.., then that urge goes away.., you feel used and taken advantage of.., as if that was really the whole cake.., and it's still not enough..

I wouldn't say Gold-diggers are rare.., but at worst.., are uncommon.., they're usually exceptionally beautiful women who were raised the wrong way.., were exposed to the wrong media.., and influenced by the wrong friends.., don't believe in love.., don't know what it is.., have no respect for the opposite sex.., role-play to get married to the lifestyle they want.., learn to live with the man that comes along with that lifestyle.., and if they realize that they can't live with him.., take 50% of that lifestyle and try and repeat the process while they're still young-ish.., their entire life is training and acting.., almost a maniac behavior.. A trained eye and some basic experience can easily weed them out.., (but again.., some guys don't really care.., some guys don't want a wife.., they want a whore.., and they're perfectly content and feel no shame in marrying for that reason.., or starting a family with that kind of relationship dynamic.., take a look at the divorce rate.., it will hopefully give you some insight into how many men really don't care)



These guys also find out that:





College students? Either she had a mother the guy should be worried to have as his "in-law".., or she is too young to be thinking of that anyway.., and her intentions are most likely naive or genuine.., although it still does remain the best way to be a gold-digger for anyone who has daughters and wants to train them from a young age quite explicitly.., beyond the usual.., "find someone who treats you right.., gives you everything you deserve.., will take care of you.., etc"

Best,

GrkScorp

[vashti]

Just to play devils advocate:

What's wrong with a woman saying she'd like a man to look after her financially? Seems as if there are plenty of guys who would be happy to look after such a woman.

Quite honestly, if a woman wants a traditional family, she's have to be an idiot NOT to take into consideration a man's earning power. Traditional parenting roles require a man to be able to provide for the family. Smart men know this, and men who mind most tend to be the ones with little earning capacity or those who don't value the traditional roles of mothers. The term "gold digger" is just a way for those men to punish women who dare to want something they can't offer; a way to keep women "in their place", just as the word "spinster" (with no real male equivalent) is applied to women who choose not to marry.

[DoesntMatter]

Not a day goes by without me thanking God that some fine women desire luxury sports cars, big houses, nice vacations, and all that shit. Personally I just want the money for the woman, but even before that I realized that money is the universal measurement of ownage. Playing years of first-person shooters taught me that the meaning of life is ownage

[DoesntMatter]

But you know what, I'll be able to identify gold diggers extremely easily. Basically anyone willing to date me will be a gold digger, as easy as that

[IndiReloaded]

Quite honestly, if a woman wants a traditional family, she's have to be an idiot NOT to take into consideration a man's earning power.

Exactly^.

GS, you're still in the mindset of someone who wants to trick you somehow. I'm talking about someone who actually says to a man: I want you to take care of me (& I'll take care of you, by extension). What's wrong with that if both ppl know thats what they want going into things?

Its not my model, but in my parents generation, my father went & made all the money & my mother ran the house: the home, kids, and finances (she was a bookkeeper--but not enough that I'd consider it a significant contribution to the household).

My dad was quite happy to look after his kids & wife. He took pride in it (and actually disliked my mother working).

I'm just saying there probably ARE men out there who still enjoy that traditional arrangement & women who might also. So long as they are honest about it, what's wrong with that?

Likewise, there may be men out there, despite past social conventions, who might enjoy staying home like women did in times past.