what to say

[JShadows]

i want to ask this girl out but i really dont know what to say. is there anything any one says that has any success. and if she sais no, what should i say back. im friends with her, so its going to be weird the next day if she says no.

[1averagejoe]

It's a simple, "hey, I wanted to ask you, can I take you on a date to*insert place*?"

Make sure you mention date though since you're friends with her. Not mentioning it is a date, she will end up just think you're going out as friends. Keep in mind though if she does says no it's going to affect your friendship. But you having feelings for her already affects your friendship. It might be a little awkward after, but who cares. You've got to take a chance to gain something. Better to tell her how you feel than to hold it in. Plus it's only more awkward if you make it awkward. I've asked a girl that was my friend out and well...I kind of got rejected. We don't really talk as much or hang out but it's not really awkward because we don't make it.

If she does say no, then just act like it never happened and start talking about something else.

[veryniceboy]

Be funny.... say like "Would you stab me with a knife in the back if I would take you to the new Indiana Jones movie.... I promise it be fun.. (let her laugh and think)

Maybe drop in: "I will pay for the popcorn if you can pay the Coke"

Maybe she laugh more and say "ok, when.. or what time"

bingo... your in..

[Cain]

I honestly think that the movies is a horrible date destination. Dates are about conversation. You can't converse in the theater unless you want to be one of the people that everyone throws popcorn at.

Honestly, I don't feel like you should have to specify that it's a date. If she feels any kind of connection and you give her the signs, she should know it's a date.

Be confident. Ask her to dinner. Pay for it all. And while you're there, talk to her. Intimately. I don't mean ask her who she's slept with... but I mean talk to her as the guy that wants to be more than friends.

[vashti]

Absolutely tell her it would be a date (joe is right - she won't necessarily know you are interested romantically if you don't), but I agree it would be best to skip the movie. And yeah - if you ask her out, YOU should pay. Don't hit her up for money.

[Cain]

Absolutely tell her it would be a date (joe is right - she won't necessarily know you are interested romantically if you don't), but I agree it would be best to skip the movie. And yeah - if you ask her out, YOU should pay. Don't hit her up for money.

Why does he HAVE to tell her it's a date? Are "friends" acting like people that are dating nowadays?

[vashti]

Why does he HAVE to tell her it's a date? Are "friends" acting like people that are dating nowadays?

Well, friends get together and see movies or have dinner... What is your issue with being direct? Do you find many women know how to read your mind? Because to be honest, I find men are terrible at it, and I assume women are, too.

[1averagejoe]

From a personal experience, I would say it would be wise to specifically say "DATE" in some way when asking her out.

Yes friends go out to dinner and movies, and yes guys will pay for their friends that are girls sometimes even though they're not interested in them as a friendly gesture. It's not like we're telling you to ask her to marry you. It's one word, you can smoothly slip it into your conversation when asking her out.

[Cain]

Well, friends get together and see movies or have dinner... What is your issue with being direct? Do you find many women know how to read your mind? Because to be honest, I find men are terrible at it, and I assume women are, too.

If a guy has any game at all, he doesn't have to be so direct. He can easily show her he's interested with a sensual kiss at the end of the date... holding hands throughout the night randomly.

Maybe guys nowadays just suck at showing they are interested without actually saying it.

[vashti]

Maybe you are smoother than average. Personally, I'd stick with being direct.

[Cain]

Just answer this for me.

If a guy takes your hand in his and looks into your eyes while you talk... finds ways to hold you without being clingy or overdoing it... kissing you sensually at the end of the night... are you going to assume it was just a friendly social gathering?

[vashti]

No. Then again, if I agreed to hang out with a friend for the evening, and he tried to kiss me at the end of the night, I would be very confused and annoyed if I didn't anticipate it coming, and I am not sure I would react well.

[Cain]

That's why the guy has to provide the right signs during the evening and read the girl's signs well.

Basically, if you can't get your voice across without actually saying it, then just be direct and tell her.