or am i just a bitch?

[swanted]

I love my boyfriend, and we do alot of things together and he usually comes to pick me up. but he's habitually late and i usually take it the same way each time....
he tells me he'll be there around 8 or 830 so there is already a 30 minute leeway ( keeping in mind he's getting me so he's the one that sets the time depending on what we are both doing ) and then i dont hear from him so around 840 i text him and ask whats up? ( litterally i say whats up not why are you not here?!?) and he says ill be there soon or... im just leaving... or ill be there at 9...

one of my biggest pet peeves is waiting around... im a little impatient and feel like i could have been doing something productive instead of waiting on him so i wish he would have just told me he knew he was going to be late!!
anyway... we get together and he appologize and i tell him i dont mind that he gets caught up or is running late but it would be nice if i could get a heads up. he agrees to trying next time and the convo is left at that.

THEN while we're hanging out and i cant help but ACT like i'm mad! i'm ususally very chatty and peppy and i just seem to be more quiet and i keep telling myself that it wasn't a big deal but my body gestures imply that it was. and he asks me whats wrong with me and i say i'm not mad about anything( which is truue..) but hes tells me something like its my decision if i want to act that way.

why can't i get it out of my head? it didn't bug me at all the first few times he was late but its on a regular basis and the minutes of me sitting around completely in the dark as to why he's not there are pilling up...

[adviceneeded]

if this is your biggest problem you are the happiest person in the world.

[twisted]

You need to sit down and tell him that it really bothers you. Don't bottle it up, it'll just get worse.

[vashti]

I think people who do this to others are incredibly disrespectful of other people's time. To be honest, this is not a problem I would tolerate. I guess it's one of my deal breakers. If you want to try to correct this, you might just not go out with him if he isn't there when he is supposed to be. Either go out alone, or put your pajamas on and go to bed. (I doubt it will work, though.)

[misombra]

i would tell him something.

i dated a guy like that once. he was always late and he lived nearby wtf?

i did what vashhh said. i put on my pajamas and changed my plans.

that shit is rude!

[Charlie Boy II]

I used to do that exact same thing, with exactlty the same response from my girlfriend. I'm laid back by nature and with my friends I've learned to be at least 15 minutes late because I'll know they will be. Otherwise I'd spend my whole life waiting for them. I'm used to meeting times for social occasions being, at best, a rough guide. I guess it became a habit.

With my girlfriend, I used to think I was the one having to drive half an hour to get to her house (she has no car), if she has to watch tv for an extra ten minutes, what's the big deal? It's not like she's standing on a street corner. She's at home.

But I've come around a bit, and I think if he is doing it over and over again, it's fair enough to get ticked off with him. You're not being a bitch.

Anyway, he's probably like I was and didn't see it as a big deal. Just tell him what's on your mind.

[lastwish]

Sit him down and tell him this problem is serious and it bothers you. But if he still continues then next time you meet up with him, wait for him for 10 minutes...if he isn't there...change plans. That will teach him a lesson. He's being disrespectful. If I were you...I wouldn't tolerate it. Everytime you meet him...10 minutes...thats all you have to wait.

[Illusional]

nope, he's just inconsiderate. however, it's just me, but i never stay mad very long.

raverboy

[Infie]

I got to agree with the first person that this really isn't a massive problem, so don't let it get to you - neither of you are dying, neither of you are homeless etc etc etc.

If you can't get past this little thing, then whats going to happen when someone big happens?

Deal with it now, and fast. x

[Junket]

I grew up in the NE where everything is more fast paced.

Down here in the south, people are generally more laid back.

Drives me crazy.

[Charlie Boy II]

ah man, we all spend so much time being slaves to the clock at work. On the weekends I like everything to be nice and loose. I hate feeling rushed.

[Junket]

ah man, we all spend so much time being slaves to the clock at work. On the weekends I like everything to be nice and loose. I hate feeling rushed.

You'd love Key West, Florida.

Little islands off the Florida coast, everybody is so laid back there.

When we volunteered down there, we'd show up 5 minutes early.

Our project sponsors would show up 10 minutes late, then just want to talk for another 15 minutes.

We found that very frustrating, considering the majority of my team was also from Northern states.

[Charlie Boy II]

nah at work that stuff shits me - stuffing around. At the weekends though, I don't like having someone bust my chops about that stuff.

[Illusional]

i was an impatient person before too. however, after waiting tables, i have learned to be patient and chill. it's much more funny to watch those around you stress when they try to move at a pace in their own world.

raverboy

[Mish]

I used to do that exact same thing, with exactlty the same response from my girlfriend. I'm laid back by nature and with my friends I've learned to be at least 15 minutes late because I'll know they will be. Otherwise I'd spend my whole life waiting for them. I'm used to meeting times for social occasions being, at best, a rough guide. I guess it became a habit.

With my girlfriend, I used to think I was the one having to drive half an hour to get to her house (she has no car), if she has to watch tv for an extra ten minutes, what's the big deal? It's not like she's standing on a street corner. She's at home.

But I've come around a bit, and I think if he is doing it over and over again, it's fair enough to get ticked off with him. You're not being a bitch.

Anyway, he's probably like I was and didn't see it as a big deal. Just tell him what's on your mind.

I'm guilty of the same. Sometimes you can't account for traffic and other things that come up in between. I once spent almost 2 hours in traffic on a piece of road that can easily be covered in 30 minutes any other day.

Though, if he said he'll be there at 8 - 8:30 and he's only leaving at 9 that's something that should be addressed.