ending it after 6 years

[pizzatime]

My boyfriend and I have been going out just under 6 years. Over the past year things have just been going downhill and i finally decided breaking up is what would be best. I'm not happy anymore and his lack of motivation to finish college or help around the apartment with chores does not help. I just felt like i was doomed to clean up after him and having to tell him to clean up all the time makes me feel like a parent to him. I was gonna tell him tomorrow but when i got home tonight he saw something was wrong and i ended up telling him. The thing is that I thought this was the right decision before i came home, but after talking with him it was so hard and he did not want to leave and he was just begging to give it another try that i said ok...but only if he agrees to live apart for a while by going back to his parents house and then showing me he is gonna try and do better and make a plan for the future. Is this even worth trying or should we just break up? I dont want to prolong the pain if its just gonna end. I feel so guilty about it all.

[lesa]

No one can tell you whether it is worth it or not...we don't know him like you do.

Imagine that he stays exactly the way he is right now. Are you okay with it? Don't expect someone to change for you.......

...however, since you two have agreed to give it another try because he IS willing to change, then I think it is okay to give a 'probationary period' and during that time assess whether you are okay with what is happening. Some people need a wakeup call in there relationship but I wouldn't waste his time if you seriously no longer want to be with him.

Also, he can't make you happy...only you can do that for yourself--not a relationship. Your job in this relationship is to decide whether you can accept him the way he is or not. If not, then move on.