I cant help thinking about her. What can I do?

[mrstrangemagic]

Hi there,

I've got this 'problem', I say it's a problem because it's become that I can't escape this situation for 14 years.

I meet this girl at college in 1994. We dated for a year, and she was pretty perfect in my eyes. 1995 was a bad year, and we kept breaking up/getting back together; really somehow the relationship suddenley went wrong.

After one last get together in Autumn 1995, she walked off and we never saw each other until 1999.

Between 1995-1999, I met another girl and we got married in 1998. I didnt thing about my ex so much. In 1999 I bumped into my ex-girlfriend (called her Wendy-Ann) and feelings hit me again. After that I talk to her a few times, but she told me to leave her alone so I did.

Between 1999-2005, I thought about her on and off more than I should have. I mean I had a few ex-girlfriend before her, but I never thought about them.

In mid-2005 I had a break down at work and was out of work for a while. A friend of mine who knew Wendy-Ann, met me and mentioned her name. Now between 1999 - 2005 he would mention her name everytime I met him, and I'd say to him don't tell me about her I dont want to know.

But in mid-2005 I did. Well a month later and I was talking to Wendy-ann. It was strange because we'd talk but if I mentioned our past relationship in 1994-1995 she would ignore it.

We even went to a film and dinner, and also I cook her a meal. Now I was married still, so you can see this wasn't looking good.

After the meal, I kinda realised that she wasn't the girl I loved in 1994. I mean she looked the same, but she was somehow darker and more abrupt. TO be honest I though she was playing a game with me. So afterwards I tried to not contact her for a long time. Mid 2006 she phoned me, but I didn't answer the call.

End 2006 I was on a low edge, and was still thinking about her alot. I dont know what came over me, but I phoned her, and told her I was angry with her, and what happened in 1995 and the break. I then put the phone down.

A few weeks later I was apologetic, but she didn't want to know me.
February 2007 she told me she never want to speak to me again. Since Feb 2007 I've tried a few things to get her to speak to me, including sending her flowers twice in a day.

Now what bothers me and Im sure you too, was that in 2006 I realised that she was different so I said in my mind things have changed moved on. But after a few months I still craved for her - well moreso the Wendy-ann of 1994.

I been emailing her often and also texting her for over a year, but no replies. My friend who one kept mentioning her, now doesn't talk to me either.

This has become a problem. My life hasn't moved on since I met her again in 2005, and has affected my job and wellbeing.

Any help or advice please?

[Cain]

Are you still married? If so.... DROP THE CONTACT.

[Gigabitch]

Guys like you are why girls like me are apprehensive about getting married.

Go see a therapist immediately about your Wendy-Ann fixation. I think you're hanging on to this old connection to avoid your life.

Has it occurred to you that maybe Wendy Ann isn't so different, it's the situation that's making her dark and abrupt? I mean, you're this sleazy wannabe cheater now, so I think that might be coloring your interaction with her.