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Thread: how do i reduce my shyness?

  1. #1
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    how do i reduce my shyness?

    hi guys, i have this problem in my whole life. i am confident in all other stuff but when it come to love life, i am very shy. perhaps it due to the past failure i have, i don't know. i can communicate well with my friends, be it girl or boy but when to the person i truly like. my character just...gone. when it come to messaging, i have no problem but when it come to face to face or even dating her, i just don't have the balls to do so. Anyone have any idea how can i reduce my shyness? I know I just courage to do so but any hint or tip perhaps.

  2. #2
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    Alcohol generally works for me, but it's really not an ideal solution. Otherwise, just realize there's a lot of fish in the sea, so screwing up on a few isn't really as big a deal as you can get yourself believing.

    lol, I saw this one guy at the pool I've been going to shamelessly walking up and striking out with every girl that wasn't obviously with a guy. The guy was probably hitting on 20 girls a day...it's funny, but imagine how much better his chances are than someone like me that doesn't do that.

  3. #3
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    Take an acting class. It's a good way to overcome shyness or a fear of speaking, and hopefully this will carry over into the dating realm.
    Last edited by starbuck; 27-07-08 at 03:50 AM.

  4. #4
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    You are spending too much time worrying about your own feelings, and not enough time worrying about theirs. I think acting as though you are the host trying to ensure your guest is comfortable is a good idea. Think about it: when someone comes to your home, don't you go out of your way to be pleasant and talkative so your guest isn't bored?

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    Quote Originally Posted by shh! View Post
    You are spending too much time worrying about your own feelings, and not enough time worrying about theirs. I think acting as though you are the host trying to ensure your guest is comfortable is a good idea. Think about it: when someone comes to your home, don't you go out of your way to be pleasant and talkative so your guest isn't bored?
    ^No silly, that's why we have alcohol. Get em' blagged enough and they'll create their own company.































    ...in the pisser.
    Live together. Die alone - [url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvi_RCM3FAM[/url]

  6. #6
    anachronistic's Avatar
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    If it's women, just have a wank before you go out. I know that sounds very cliche, but it really does work for me.

    They say alcohol is a social lubricant, but I think that depends on what kind of drunk you are. If you're still pretty much the same person after 2-3 drinks, go ahead. Don't depend on alcohol though. That's a very bad idea in my opinion. If everyone is drinking, sure it's fine.

    Best thing is to just learn to be carefree. People are just people, and there is really nothing to be nervous about. If you have a strong idea about what kind of person you are, what kinds of things you want to accomplish, then you have no reason to worry about what other people think, and you're more willing to risk that.

  7. #7
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    I'm still shy in some things especially dealing with romance. A theatre course and a lots of public speaking forced the shyness out of me .

  8. #8
    Tone's Avatar
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    Death.

    Death can be a powerful motivator to get out and live.

    You only have a limited time here, think of how irrelevant a temporary embarrassing moment is in the long run.

    If you really want to find a special someone bad enough you'll find a way to get over your shyness.

    It's all about not living with regrets. So you ask a girl out, what's the worse that can happen? She says no? You move on, pride a little hurt, but you move on. You don't waste time fantasizing of what it would be like to be with her or sit back and always say to yourself "Man... what if I did ask her out... what if she was the one for me..? what if...."

  9. #9
    anachronistic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tone View Post
    Death.

    Death can be a powerful motivator to get out and live.

    You only have a limited time here, think of how irrelevant a temporary embarrassing moment is in the long run.

    If you really want to find a special someone bad enough you'll find a way to get over your shyness.

    It's all about not living with regrets. So you ask a girl out, what's the worse that can happen? She says no? You move on, pride a little hurt, but you move on. You don't waste time fantasizing of what it would be like to be with her or sit back and always say to yourself "Man... what if I did ask her out... what if she was the one for me..? what if...."
    Death is the answer to everything.

    Just kill the bitch.

    It's a whole lot easier to get into her pants.

  10. #10
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    hahhaha

    that was a completely useless suggestion, but pretty damned funny

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tone View Post
    Death.

    Death can be a powerful motivator to get out and live.

    You only have a limited time here, think of how irrelevant a temporary embarrassing moment is in the long run.

    If you really want to find a special someone bad enough you'll find a way to get over your shyness.

    It's all about not living with regrets. So you ask a girl out, what's the worse that can happen? She says no? You move on, pride a little hurt, but you move on. You don't waste time fantasizing of what it would be like to be with her or sit back and always say to yourself "Man... what if I did ask her out... what if she was the one for me..? what if...."
    Yeah, so true. I guess it also coincident that my phone spolit and i have to call her if i want to chat.

  12. #12
    anachronistic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aegis View Post
    hahhaha

    that was a completely useless suggestion, but pretty damned funny
    Of course I was kidding I need to use some of my ideas and make stories out of them. Taht would bring more viewers to my website.


    But back to Tone's point. This concept applies to everything in life. Your instincts of survival are connected to the way your mind thinks, and everything you do. You have to look into the possibilities of the future, and become aware of what might happen, and whether or not you should risk that. Taking your awareness to the next level will make you more successful.
    Last edited by anachronistic; 27-07-08 at 12:21 PM.

  13. #13
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    Death is the answer to everything though .

    When in a dilemma imagine that you could be dead so you might as well do whatever it is. (as long as no one is hurt--terribly hehe)

  14. #14
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    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zh4Xo8JYAf4"]YouTube - The Smiths- Ask[/ame]
    baby ya hustle. but me i hustle harder.


  15. #15
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    seriously, i need this help from you guys, how do i talk to the girl i like on the phone? i have a problem in that oso.

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