I need some serious feedback from you guys

[AppleFromMars]

Okay, Hey everyone. I'm new here and since all my girl-friends can't be bothered I'm here to ask a guys advice.

There's a guy in my college who stares at me all the time, and I do mean all the time when he sees me. It's been going on for 1,5 years. Before anyone suggests he's a creep, I'll tell you I'm almost definate he's not. He has a lot of friends, has no problem talking to girls, seems confident etc. I'm pretty sure he's not the staring type as he only does this to me.

The problem is he's had chances to approach me and talk to me but he never does. We only exchanged (pointless) words once and he seemed cold, maybe because there were people around and he was sitting with a friend, I dont know.

He stares with a serious face, eyes wide and focused. Our eyes meet in a crowded room and I've caught him observing me kind of smiling once. Some other times he looked sort of worried and confused, almost hurt (wtf?), but yeah mostly he just looks serious. One time I walked past him while he was talking to his friend but ignoring him and I heard he broke off midsentence like he got distracted.

Another problem is that he got a girlfriend a couple of months ago. My two friends says she resembles me a little bit. He hasn't stopped staring even though he's with her but he does avoid being with me alone in a room etc. When I walked into a room with both of them I saw he pulled away from his girlfriend.

He's in the 'popular crowd', and I'm not (though not supergeeky either). Can this be the reason why he doesn't talk to me? And most importantly, what the hell is he doing? Why is he's so hung up on me and for so long without doing anything? It's a bit disrespectful and mostly annoying in all honesty.

What does it mean when a guy stares at a girl that long and that much?

Any answer is really appreciated.

[shh!]

If you find it annoying that he stares, why don't you just bluntly ask him what he's staring at? I bet that would make him stop.

Otherwise, I'm curious to know why you have allowed yourself to be so consumed with what he is thinking for all this time when you could have simply struck up a conversation with him...

[AppleFromMars]

See when it comes down to it, I find it flattering, more flattering than annoying but since he's gotten himself a girlfriend it's become annoying and frustrating.

I've thought about asking him but I haven't been able to grab the right moment, we're never alone. And then it would seem like I care so much, like I go around thinking about it while he really doesn't give a **** apperently.

The reason why I havent talked to him is because I wouldnt really be interested if he wasnt paying me attention in the first place and also because he seemed cold that one time.

[Aegis]

It won't be hard convince him that you've noticed him staring at you, especially if he does do it. The impression will be that he's more weird than you are preoccupied with it, so it wouldn't seem like you care so much about it as much as he's acting kind of strangely and people have noticed him. If that makes any sense at all...

[Tedel]

I think he likes you so much he's feeling shy about approaching you.

I'd suggest giving him some more time, and doing something to help him get the guts to ask you out.

[IndiReloaded]

He likes you. If its not offensive to you, smile at him when he stares. If he smiles back, you're game on.

[AppleFromMars]

Thanks for everyone's response.

I feel like a hypocrite flirting/smiling at him while he's with her. And she does seem like a nice girl but sometimes I feel like she's keeping an eye on me, I wonder if she's noticed. Otherwise they seem to have a good thing going so I dont think there's any chance of me and him happening.

I think I'll just ask him why he stares cause yeah like Aegis he can't deny that he does it.

What baffles me the most is that he's so confident and has always had tons of girl craving for his attention and he seems to enjoy it but with me it's like he only wants to look.

[Mr Wigglz]

Stare at him back like all the time. Have a evil grin on your face like your planning on doing somthing to him

[IndiReloaded]

At the risk of producing a Cain-vent, a smile is just a smile. If he decides to pursue you b/c of that, then that's their problem. All's fair in love & war until a formal commitment is made. In my opinion only, of course.

[shh!]

Maybe he thinks you are staring at him?

[AppleFromMars]

Nah I've ruled that one out because I always catch him looking.

[Lipp]

Well, I reckon that staring can definitely be an indicator of that a guy is into you, but what I find to be curious is how he seems to never withdraw eye contact. I mean, if he'd be flirty I'd expect that he would wink or smile, and if shy he'd probably divert his eyes. But for just staring? *shrug*

[Papsy]

Hi,

Well this is something that can be explained quite easily, he seems as though he likes you. Maybe he does not like his girlfriend, why not go and ask him when you catch him alone, simply write your number down and when you have your opportunity go and give it to him. This will mean that you have initiated the move and he will feel more at ease, what do you have to lose?

Give it a try and let us know what happens!

[AppleFromMars]

I just now remembered this thread.
An update for anyone interested, though I doubt this is very interesting:

Thanks for your input Papsy, but I don't think I'm gonna go up to him and give him my number. I saw him with his girlfriend some days ago, they have moved in together now. His girlfriend has no depth and I'm beginning to think he doesn't either. I've also noticed he avoids eye contact now but watches when he thinks i don't see. Maybe I should tell him to stop doing it?

I just loathe the fact that guys always go for the easy thing, its like he couldnt put at least a little bit of an effort into getting to know me. It's hurtful to find out that even though youre giving them signals you're not worth any real time investment. And on top of that, a guy I recently met was flirting with one of my best friends 3 nights ago. And she was playing her innocent card but she was obviously interested.

Allright emo-rant over..

[ecojeanne]

maybe he's your secret half brother