Am i Crazy

[alpha142]

Im a very shy guy and have had a crush on a girl since middle school. She went to high school with me as well and was frequently in my classes. Im 21 now (graduated at 18) and but she goes to a different collage in the area, I have more confidence in myself now and am considering saying something to her about this through an e-mail. Am i weird and crazy to consider this? i have never been on a date before so i almost no experience in the area. Although i think two different girls tried to ask me out, i inadvertently turned one down and the other i didnt realize until later. Once again am i weird and crazy to consider saying something? If not any advice would be very helpful.

[Aegis]

Don't tell her through email that you like her. Do, if you can cook up a reasonable enough excuse, ask to meet up with her..."coffee or something." Spend some time with her personally before you flat out tell her you like her.

[alpha142]

I think that would be very difficult to do because although i made and effort to talk to her in high school it was mostly almost entirely school related. i tried to tell her once junior year but i froze up. Because we have a similar name i often was in her classes and sat next to her. she had a lot of friends and usually talked to them when i was around her. Some of her closer friends go to the same collage as me. I haven't spoken to her in three years and im very nervous adding her as a friend on facebook due to the fact i havent seen her in a long time and that she may think im weird because i was always so nervous when i was around her.

[Aegis]

I was in a similar situation a couple of times and never really found a good way or any plausible reason to reunite with the girl. I don't where they are today.

Whatever you do, flat out telling her you like her in an email out of the blue is *not* a good idea. At least start talking to her on facebook or myspace or aim or whatever those chat things are. You need to reestablish some type of contact before letting go with a bomb like that. ;-)

[starbuck]

Yeah I think adding her to facebook might be a better idea than emailing her out of the blue, especially if it's been 3 years. She might have a better chance of remembering you if she can place the name to the face. You could even write a message along the lines of "Remember me from your so and so class?"

She'll probably add you. I add all kinds of people even the ones I don't know unless he/she looks scary. So...don't look scary and you'll probably be ok!

[alpha142]

i forgot to mention that through out most of high school she had a few boyfriends and i was always waiting for her to break up with them to say something but she always moved on to the next one before i noticed. i also worry about saying something now because i dont know if she currently has one or not. So part of me wonders if me considering this is even ethical

[alpha142]

If i were to add her to my friends on face book i dont really know how i would go from there i have no relationship experience.

Also in that e-mail/message i was considering making it a confession/apology about me explaining why i developed feelings for her and at the same time apologizing for the length of time to write it and any grief i may have caused her acting socially awkward her.

[Aegis]

Don't send her a confession/apology for social awkwardness that happened 3 years ago; it'll just make you seem kind of hung-up on her.

[starbuck]

Dude, omg...you definitely do not want to send her that type of email. You've got to approach her way more casually or else you're going to wig her out.

Add her to facebook or myspace and just send her a very casual, "Hey what's up? What have you been up to since high school?" If she answers you, hopefully, you can get a nice correspondence going and eventually ask her out.

[shh!]

*emphasis on eventually.

[1averagejoe]

I think the best bet would be to add her to facebook and myspace. Then leave her a comment: "hey i haven't talked/seen you in a long time, how's life treating you/how things going for you/what have you been up to?"

Chose your combination. Don't send her an e-mail confessing everything, that's a huge turn off, and creepy. Once she responds, you're going to have to casually bring up maybe getting together sometimes.

[alpha142]

Thank you everyone ill give it a shot. I gained some confidence over the summer by loosing a lot of weight i gained when i started collage. Im back to my normal weight and consider myself close to fit, once i hit my target weight ill give it a try.

I think this idea i had likely grew from the fact i have had her on my mind daily for years and I grew a little over zealous, now that im starting to feel better about myself.

[Cain]

Thank you everyone ill give it a shot. I gained some confidence over the summer by loosing a lot of weight i gained when i started collage. Im back to my normal weight and consider myself close to fit, once i hit my target weight ill give it a try.

I think this idea i had likely grew from the fact i have had her on my mind daily for years and I grew a little over zealous, now that im starting to feel better about myself.

Why wait until your target weight? The longer you delay it the more it might end badly... what if she's single now and before she gets comfortable with you she finds another man? Act now. Stop wasting time.

[alpha142]

i see your point ill act pretty soon

[cosmicgenius]

no you are not