She likes me but is scared to ruin our friendship

[Joker]

Okay there is this girl i absolutely adore and is one of my closest friends...I recently found out she likes me too but isn't ready for a relationship...

I was puzzling why and realised all of the problems she has had recently involve her friends/boyfriends getting mixed up. Firstly, her last boyfriend was her friend for quite a while beforehand but when they dated he cheated on her, was obsessed with sex and spread rumours to make sure no one else took her. It didn't end well. Now they hate each other and so she lost a friend of hers as well as a boyfriend.

Secondly, she is a very flirty person and tons of guys are lining round the block to go out with her. But most of the guys who like her are also her friends and some of them after she said she doesn't like them stop being her friends, so it is killing her.

From this I assume that the reason she's apprehensive is because she's scared about what will happen to our friendship in the end. Now i've been her friend for ages and even if things didn't end up well as a couple i would never leave her as a friend...and i am nothing like her previous boyfriend.

I want to tell her how much i care for her and we should go for it...but i don't know what to say to her....

Any advice would be extremely helpful

[IndiReloaded]

Now i've been her friend for ages and even if things didn't end up well as a couple i would never leave her as a friend...and i am nothing like her previous boyfriend.

I want to tell her how much i care for her and we should go for it...but i don't know what to say to her....

Any advice would be extremely helpful

This sounds like a good start, right here^. Go get her while she's available.

[Mish]

From this I assume that the reason she's apprehensive is because she's scared about what will happen to our friendship in the end. Now i've been her friend for ages and even if things didn't end up well as a couple i would never leave her as a friend...and i am nothing like her previous boyfriend.

You may know that, but she doesn't. There is nothing in her mind that says you are any different than all those other boys who tried and failed and then started to avoid her. Actions speak louder than words. Show her that you are her friend and will be her friend no matter what happens between the two of you.

As for the asking out bit, she sounds a bit 'besieged' at the moment. I have a suspicion if you try now, you might meet the same cold shoulder as all the others. Personally, I think there's no rush. It's not the "asking out" that creates attraction it's other things that you can utilize while you are friends. Build attraction and comfort, once there is enough of both you won't even have to ask.

[shh!]

Hmm... sounds like a line she might use to avoid hurting the feelings of a guy she likes, but maybe not the kind of guy she likes to date.

[Joker]

You may know that, but she doesn't. There is nothing in her mind that says you are any different than all those other boys who tried and failed and then started to avoid her. Actions speak louder than words. Show her that you are her friend and will be her friend no matter what happens between the two of you.

As for the asking out bit, she sounds a bit 'besieged' at the moment. I have a suspicion if you try now, you might meet the same cold shoulder as all the others. Personally, I think there's no rush. It's not the "asking out" that creates attraction it's other things that you can utilize while you are friends. Build attraction and comfort, once there is enough of both you won't even have to ask.

I did ask her out before and she said no and she told me the other day (after taking ten minutes, she was nervous) that she liked me but wasn't ready for a relationship. I can tell she's moved on a bit as she is willing to tell me. The thing is that when she said no to me, I stuck around as her friend...also the other guys were over-obsessive about it and i was more relaxed.

You are right that she is besieged because of all the attention on her and you're right i shouldn't ask her out but naturally fall into it. But what i need is something to say to her that shows that i care for her in a more than friend way but still saying i will always be her friend no matter what happens

[Mish]

But what i need is something to say to her that shows that i care for her in a more than friend way but still saying i will always be her friend no matter what happens

For that you don't need to say anything, just show her. Actions speak louder than words