confused between ex or current bf

[carpediem_b]

Dear All ,

as i think almost evrybody in this forum i need an advice.my story is as follows , i would try to sum it up:

i am 27 yrs old and have had 3 long term relationships in my life ,by long term i mean 2 yrs and above, in the current one ,i am with this amazing guy , living together since 2005.

my problem is that i dont really love him anymore, i do respect him and have all the care and wish the best for him, but i dont have the love that u suppose to have for a partner.

i first cheated in 2005 when we were together only for 8 months , i had a one night stand with my first ex , person that i lost my virginity.and high school sweetheart.despite this i did not break up but felt more conected with my current bf . i promissed to my self that i would not do that anymore and closed all the contact with my ex, although that i was dreaming about him all the time ,however in 2007 happend again . despite my effort not to meet my ex , is like some strong supernatural force makes it happen. i usually meet my ex when i visit my parents in my home country , as i am leaving with my bf in a different place.after 2007 again i promised to my self that i should not do this anymore , is really disrespectful and so mean to do this to someone that really cares abt you, i had all the love for my current bf and tried to concentrate on that , was hard to forget the couple of times i spent with my ex but i managed.

my real problem started tis summer , i usually had spent max 2 weeks with my parents and tried to not meet my ex at all or minimise it and meet him in public places where nothing could happen, but this summer i stayed 2 and half month with my family due to some problems they had, and here it goes i spent this time with my ex and found out that actualy i have this deep feelings about him, i was feeling so bad abt leaving him and coming to my current bf but i had to , i have to give some kind of explanation.

i returned back to my bf , and i found out that actualy i dont love him anymore ..i dont desire him anymore ...but i have to stay here as my job is here and we just bought a house together and he is talking about marriage and i feel traped and want to scream and dont know a way out...same time ..i can not just go back to my parents place with no money , no job ,when i support them financialy. my ex says that should be my decission and he does not want that i chose to return just because of him, when actualy i dont know if i would have ever returned if it was not for him.

my problem is that i dont know if i am in love or infatuated or whatttt..dont know what to do ...and am terrified of making the wrong decission...

any advice???

[MzConfused]

I think you should leave your boyfriend.

You don't neccessarily have to leave him for your ex but you have to leave him because the future is no brighter staying in a relationship with him. You like the idea of him and the idea of having a boyfriend to love and take care of you, but you also have to think, if you don't love him, your breaking his heart.

A relationship isn't a relationship if it isn't two-way...I've learnt that...kind of. =D Cheating on him is making you feel guilty. I mean even if you don't make a relationship with your ex, at least you'll be guilt free.

It sets you all free and then who knows, maybe you & your ex will rekindle the love from before properly.x

Good luck.xxx