What to do with this guy? advice pls..

[guitarchick88]

OK so i got this guy yeh, we were like seeing each other for weeks now. I thought everything was going well until suddenly my friend told me she saw him with another girl, of course i was hurt but i wanted to confirm it to him, then awhile ago we chatted and i acted like i wasnt in the mood of talking. then probably he got the hint that i must have found out something. I wasn't asking him anything, then he just spilled it himself..that he did actually went out for a date with a chick because he was bored and i wasn't there with him? because I got an early class for the next morning. I know right that's too lame for an stupid excuse. So right now he's calling nonstop and sending me messages to give him a chance and he is going crazy. I said its over. He's asking for another chance and don't let my friends advices get in to me and favor what I really feel for him? I know i should not forgive him but i wanna get thoughts from the other people. what should i do? just forget all about him and move on?

[lesa]

Yep, I would do as you did and move on. Don't let him waste your time any further...he had his chance and blew it. He doesn't deserve you.

[starbuck]

^^^I agree with Lesa. Forget about him. He sounds like a total player. I pity the girl he went on a date with because I'm sure he left out the little detail that he already had a girlfriend.

Can you block his messages and phone calls? That way you don't have to even deal with his whining and wheedling.

[Citycat]

1) he really is a player
2) he needed to compare you with someone to realize how good you are (I know it sounds lame, but there are people who need to touch the wall to see that's a wall indeed) [which doesn't mean you should forgive him]. It's all up to you, but you better dump him.

[starbuck]

Let's remember that his reason for going out on that date was pretty ****ed up. From what she said, he was basically punishing her for not being there with him. "Oh I was bored and you were going to bed early because of class" was his rationale. If he were a stand-up guy, he would be supportive that she was being a responsible student.

If she stays with him, what's he going to do when he gets "bored" again? Probably much worse then going on a date.

[Cain]

Seeing each other for weeks? Meaning that you two had decided to commit to each other? Or that you've been going on dates for weeks? If it's the second one, then you have no reason to really end things... people can go on dates with other people when there isn't a commitment.

[Citycat]

^Definitely. I edited my previous post. This guy has to go for good.

[starbuck]

Seeing each other for weeks? Meaning that you two had decided to commit to each other? Or that you've been going on dates for weeks? If it's the second one, then you have no reason to really end things... people can go on dates with other people when there isn't a commitment.

Ah true. "Seeing each other" is such a nebulous phrase. I still think he sounds like a player though.

[Cain]

Ah true. "Seeing each other" is such a nebulous phrase. I still think he sounds like a player though.

Unless she says they've been in a relationship, where they both knew it was a serious relationship, then I don't see how we can classify him as a player. He hung out with another girl because he wanted to do something and the girl he was seeing was busy at class.

If they are only dating, I don't see the problem with that.

[starbuck]

Unless she says they've been in a relationship, where they both knew it was a serious relationship, then I don't see how we can classify him as a player. He hung out with another girl because he wanted to do something and the girl he was seeing was busy at class.

If they are only dating, I don't see the problem with that.

It all depends on how serious they were. OP can you clarify? Were you and he making some kind of commitment to each other?

To me it was his reason that seemed "playerish"

[Cain]

It all depends on how serious they were. OP can you clarify? Were you and he making some kind of commitment to each other?

To me it was his reason that seemed more "playerish"

He was bored.

If they aren't serious, I think that's a valid reason.

[starbuck]

He was bored.

If they aren't serious, I think that's a valid reason.

I thought she made it sound like he was blaming her for not being there with him, but maybe I'm reading too much into it.

[Cain]

It can be taken both way... but the way that I read it was that he was bored and because she was at class he took someone else.

The way that he said "and you weren't here with me" will determine how he really felt... if he was blaming her or just saying it. We won't know that.

[guitarchick88]

It all depends on how serious they were. OP can you clarify? Were you and he making some kind of commitment to each other?

To me it was his reason that seemed "playerish"

yeh we're kinda like committed already.
we talked all the time and the feeling was mutual..i mean i didnt start off everything, he's the one who approached first and lead it to something more deeper. i fell for him and all. i think "hey you're my gf and i'm your bf" wasnt really need to be say out loud because, how we treated each other is already like that.

--->well we have talked, and i said i forgive him but dont expect anything anymore.
but he keeps on bugging me still. i kno i still like him but i cant really have a peace of mind. maybe he can do that again and this time nobody will catch him doing it and i will be left stupid. i dunno what to do... him telling me he loves me really and he didnt really even touch that chick, he was being honest all along by even saying that he went out on a date with another girl, to give him another chance..give ourselves another shot for the sake of what we spent together, make me more harder to bear everything... =( oh well....

[Cain]

How long have you both been saying you love each other? In my opinion, a couple of weeks is too quick.

And did anyone see him doing anything with the girl? If you guys were committed to each other and he did this, that's a different story. If you're saying you love each other, I assume there's a commitment. Would you have had a problem with him doing it if he had told you first?