Guys: What would you do?

[Taranee]

Scenario: You have a gf. But you’ve met a new girl. There’s a connection and you are interested in her. After a few months things are starting to feel awkward between you and the new girl. Because feelings are starting to grow. You don't talk about it but you both know what's going on. The both of you are taking a step back.

Then one day you log in at a forum and find that someone is asking for advice on how to deal with… you. A complete description of the situation and about her feelings for you!! No doubts. No nothing. You are 100% sure that this is the girl you secretly have feelings for. Even though she hasn't mentioned names.

Guys, what would you do if this would happen to you? Would you take advantage of the situation?

[anachronistic]

It depends on my relationship with the girlfriend. How long I've been with her, how it's going, what level of commitment there is. I mean, if I have a crappy relationship and I am not happy, I would totally use it to my advantage. If things were going great, I'd just leave her as a friend. If things were iffy, she'd be my plan B girl.

What's the curiosity in this? Are you in a situation like that?

Welcome back by the way.

[Taranee]

Thanks anachronistic. No this concerns a friend of mine. I initially advised her to leave the guy alone. She went to a forum to ask for advice. A day later she found out that he read it. She came up to me crying and feeling embarrased. I could barely calm her down! He doesn't know that she found out that he read it.

Now she found out that he even replied to her topic!! More than once. No offense but it seems to me that this guy is actually enjoying all of this. I really don't know what to tell her. I try to calm her down and advised her not to reply anymore to that topic... Just dissappear. Don't know if that's good advice I gave her though...

I myself have posted guy problems on the Internet. If this would have happened to me I don't know what I'd do. I never really thought about the possibility of a guy finding out how I feel? Of course you don't include names but someone can use other means to find out who you are or who you are talking about..

[Cain]

First of all, if I'm in a good, healthy relationship, I'm not going to let myself "fall" for another girl.

[anachronistic]

Thanks anachronistic. No this concerns a friend of mine. I initially advised her to leave the guy alone. She went to a forum to ask for advice. A day later she found out that he read it. She came up to me crying and feeling embarrased. I could barely calm her down! He doesn't know that she found out that he read it.

Now she found out that he even replied to her topic!! More than once. No offense but it seems to me that this guy is actually enjoying all of this. I really don't know what to tell her. I try to calm her down and advised her not to reply anymore to that topic... Just dissappear. Don't know if that's good advice I gave her though...

I myself have posted guy problems on the Internet. If this would have happened to me I don't know what I'd do. I never really thought about the possibility of a guy finding out how I feel? Of course you don't include names but someone can use other means to find out who you are or who you are talking about..

Is it the boyfriend or the guy that she has feelings for? Of course, this guy sounds like a complete douche bag the way you describe him. He sounds like some measly prick that stalks people. Has he been a member on the forum for a long time? If not, he is more than likely stalking your friend.

First of all, if I'm in a good, healthy relationship, I'm not going to let myself "fall" for another girl.

Wait a minute there, Sparky. We don't know what's going on with your 'ship just yet.

[Cain]

Wait a minute there, Sparky. We don't know what's going on with your 'ship just yet.

I'm not talking about the relationship I'm currently in. I'm talking about in general.

[anachronistic]

doh. well that's what i get for staying up all night.

[Taranee]

Is it the boyfriend or the guy that she has feelings for? Of course, this guy sounds like a complete douche bag the way you describe him. He sounds like some measly prick that stalks people. Has he been a member on the forum for a long time? If not, he is more than likely stalking your friend.

No, he has a gf. She's the 'other' girl. Apparantly he's been a member for about 3 years. She hasn't been there that long. So call it destiny or coincidence that she went 'there' to ask for advice and that he found out that it's her asking for advice about him. Though I read her message myself and I think she included too many details.

Everyone replying advised her to leave the guy alone since he's in a relationship. And he is the only one who asked her 'Are you sure about this or that?' or 'Maybe you should give this guy a chance'. Which makes me wonder: Why is he still in a relationship? There must be a reason why he stays with her!! And why would he go to this much trouble to manipulate her?? I've thought about this and can only come to two conclusions:
a) He wants to do some serious fooling around with my friend. All the while keeping his regular gf. The more the merrier...
b) His brain is no longer functioning normally.

My friend now thinks that he is doing all of this because he has sincere feelings for her and he doesn't want to loose her!! I'm sorry but I find this hard to believe. If he really had 'sincere' feelings for her why all the lying and manipulating. Why wouldn't he just straight up tell her.

[Cain]

If he had feelings for her he wouldn't have a gf.

[Tedel]

I personally believe that you have the right of engaging in and ending up relationships ad lib as long as you are not married. As long as you don't go here and there lying or hurting people, there is nothing to worry about.

However, you must be responsible for your decisions. If you end up with your girlfriend and try something with that other girl, it is not to stay with her a couple of months and then try to return to your first girlfriend.

That is really a bad thing to do.

[lastwish]

The guys sounds like a jackass. Tell her to leave him alone or else she'll end up to being the other girl or a home wrecker. Even if she ends up breaking the relationship up and having the guy for herself...he can't be trusted.

[breathe_slow]

Yeah in my opinion, if you can fall for another girl, then your current gf can't mean that much to you....