Sad and confused....

[jupiter08]

Hello...

I've been in a 2 year relationship that ended last week. In the beginning, when he told me he was interested in me, he had a live in girlfriend. He broke it off with her and a few weeks after, he started seeing me. It went on for a couple of months and than one day, out of the blue, he told me that he's getting back with his (supposedly)ex-girlfriend. I was devastated... He said that he still wanted me to be a part of his life. Time went on, we were still in each others lives - via email and sometimes he would come see me. I told him what we're doing is not right, but he said that he doesn't want to loose me and that he still loved me. He kept saying he doesn't want to hurt her or me.

When he finally ended his relationship with his gf (again) he said he wanted to be alone and figure things out. We continued to email and he would still come see me whenever HE wanted to. When I wanted to see him, he started making excuses.

A month ago, he started becoming very distant. I asked him if there was someone else, he said there was a girl who's interesed in him, but the only problem is that she;s "young" - 28, and he's 42 and I'm in my mid 30's. The details he shared was unnecessary. He said that he's confused. He said he can see both of us in his life and that he still loves me and enumerated the reasons why.

Just a week back, when I asked him to come by and talk instead of emailing all the time, he started to beat around the bush, said he didn't mind seeing me, but as "friends and nothing more". I asked to be direct with me - I asked him if he was seeing someone else. He said he has been seeing someone else and that he's "making it work"... It was a double slap in the face.. I was numb. And now the nubness has turned into saddness.. I was truly in love with this person. But why would he say he loves me? He has cheated before on his ex-wife. He's a highly educated person that comes from a good family. How do men like this get away with it..? How is he able to find love again? Don't they have to face the consequences..? I know I am...

[michzel creativ]

You know girl things will change.. you have to accept the fact that she's not your boyfriend anymore.... look for someone else, theirs plenty of guys over there. Don't lose hope keep meeting friends, the more you see each other things wont work and you cant move on too. That man is not the only man on earth baby..

[Dasein]

He is 42 year old jerk and the reason he gets away with it is that people don't call him on his behaviour. He sounds like a serial offender..just on to the next person to screw up.

Please PLEASE do not contact him. I know you are suffering but you deserve someone a lot better and you WILL find him...just hang in there.

[Illusional]

are you stupid??? this guy is getting the better of you.

he's only interested in you when he's not doing so good with gf number 1.. or when he's lonely. so gf number 3 comes along and you're back to the freaking curb... do i really need to explain myself more??

raverboy

[ecojeanne]

oh u poor girl, i really feel bad for u, i can completely understand why u let him do this to u, he does what he wants and when he wants, my brother is the same and has treated women in his llife like crap and they keep accepting his behavior...i hate it that some men are able to do this and have no conscience, the problem is u were too nice to him......but now its toooooo late! u kno now. Be strong and never let him do this to u again. he is obviously a charmer otherwise he really wldnt be able to do this. he'll miss u when ur not there for him...enjoy that fact, embrace it, u'l find a happier life without him messing u about.

[starbuck]

He'll face the consequences eventually. When he's all alone in the nursing home, hitting on the nurse 'cause there was no woman on earth who would stay with his cheating ass.

(I stole that line from a tv show, gotta give credit where credit is due)

[littlewing]

You need to ask yourself a question if he really cared for you that much, if it wasn't about his feelings.