Feeling a connection with someone...the female perspective?

[Hollywood]

At the moment we are just friends because there are some complications in our situation. There is a five-year age gap between us and I've already graduated from college and am working while she is just entering college. We've decided to remain friends for now because I didn't think it was fair for me to limit her in any way, in terms of meeting new people and living the college life. I'm certain we'll remain friends and keep in contact but it's impossible for me to say what will happen.

Uhm... is she just graduating high school and entering college? Honestly that's not a reason to not be in a relationship with the identical "connection" you two have and feel for one another.

Counter to my previous statement... she had the same "connection" you "felt" and she told you about it before you told her about your feelings before you met her. Hmm...

FYI... what you felt was chemistry. Not a connection. In order to connect you have to join. Something has to join. So... you didn't establish a connection until you got to know her and discover you similarities.

[shh!]

To be honest, I'm not looking for any specific answers. This is just a unique situation for me and I wanted to know if anyone else had something similar happen to him/her and what became of their situations.

Yes, it's happened to me twice. The first time, he ended up being my boyfriend. The second time, nothing happened because we were married... to other people.

[lesa]

To be honest, I'm not looking for any specific answers. This is just a unique situation for me and I wanted to know if anyone else had something similar happen to him/her and what became of their situations.

He became my boyfriend each time. When I am taken, I never notice anymore.

[odkits]

Uhm... is she just graduating high school and entering college? Honestly that's not a reason to not be in a relationship with the identical "connection" you two have and feel for one another.

Yes, she is just entering college as a freshman and I decided from the time that we became friends, I wouldn't allow things to become more serious for that very reason. It doesn't make sense for us to be in a relationship right now because she is halfway across the country and because I also don't want her to feel like she missed out anything.

I've already graduated from college and I don't want her to feel limited in any way by us being in a relationship because I feel that would be selfish on my part. This is her time to experience and learn new things, meet new people, and discover herself as a person. She needs to go off on her own for a while, and, if things happen to work out between us, then great. For the mean time, neither of us have a problem being friends.

[Hollywood]

Hm... All I see is "I". Did she make a decision for herself? or Are you anti-LDR?

[odkits]

Hm... All I see is "I". Did she make a decision for herself? or Are you anti-LDR?

Believe me, it was mutual. If either of us had expressed any great desire to try and make it work as a couple we would have strongly considered it. Being friends now just makes the most sense for the both of us. I can only give you my perspective on the situation but my mindset would be completely different as her boyfriend versus as her friend.

We have had little time to talk since she left, but she has already told me how much fun she is having and how she has made new friends. As her boyfriend, I might be slightly irritated that we have talked so little and also slightly jealous that she is having such a good time without me; however, as her friend and with no reasons for me to be upset because I'm just a friend, I am honestly happy that things are going so well for her. I don't know how well I'm getting my point across, but this is the best thing for us right now.

[Hollywood]

Awww. So are you emotionally available? aka Are you moving on from your chances of a relationship with you friend?

[miSSleepy]

Same go as shhh!.
The first time we entered into a relationship, the second time, with another guy, both of us taken.
Neither of them were 'love'. Just a positive feeling, a certain comfort yet excitement.

[shh!]

My second was definitely more than comfort... In fact, I'd say it was a rather uncomfortable feeling since I couldn't do a thing about it. When he moved away, I was in mourning for about a year.

[odkits]

I mean, it's been really hard to go from literally talking for several hours every day and seeing each other on a consistent basis to hardly talking at all and seeing her only when she is home, but I completely expected it to work out that way. I do have strong feelings for her, but I've also realized that, if anything is going to happen between us, it won't work out until later on down the line. So it's going to be a challenge to put these feelings to the side but I have very little choice. It doesn't make much sense to wait around for her and ignore any other potential opportunities so I won't rule out seeing someone else if the chance comes along.

[Hollywood]

Dang Odkits. Hope for the best okay? Hang in there!

[lastwish]

Congrats! I don't thinks there is a need to over-analyse things. That attraction/connection or whatever it is...is a great start.

[odkits]

Thank you Hollywood and lastwish, you're words of encouragement and support are much appreciated.

[odkits]

Dang Odkits. Hope for the best okay? Hang in there!

Hollywood, would you mind if I sent you a PM?

[Hollywood]

=I don't mind. Send em my way