Issue with this girl............

[jtom]

I am in college and I met this girl in may at the start of the summer session. We really got along in class and she asked to do something with me after class one day. We did and we started hanging out alot and we started to fool around a little. I wasnt sure if she wanted a relationship or not, we never discussed it. I was going to ask her at the end of the summer session but she went back home for a few weeks and I was planning on talking to her about it when the fall semester started, this past monday.

Anyways, she has many guy friends, in fact most of her friends are guys. However, they are just freinds, she does not fool around with any of them or anything. She has a few girl friends but shes not as close to them as she is with her guy friends. She is feminine, very beautiful but has a high level of toughness to her, more then the average girl. She says what is on her mind, will argue with you, and is very indepedent. She basically is a girl with a guy personality. Anyways, it never bothered me as I never argued with her. Her guys friends are very close in fact some of them sleep on her couch a few days a week and hang out as her place, basically her place is the hangout during the week because she lives close to the school. All her other friends are also heavy drinkers and smokers and I dont smoke and dont drink as much. So i feel a little left out based on the interest of her friends. She just drinks and doesnt smoke like me though.

So last week, I hung out with her for a few hours and she said that once the fall semester started that she couldnt hang out as much. I knew based on her schedule and the fact that she works full time that I wouldnt see her as much so it was not a surprise. So I asked her a few times after we hung out if she wanted to do something and she said she couldnt.

So the fall semester started on monday and we have a few classes together. I was planning on talking about being more serious with her but she knows alot of other guys in these classes. Basically theres a guy that sits with us, walks to and from class, and I couldnt get alone with her at school. The only trouble is that she doesnt answer her phone, she only likes texting. This is not because she doesnt want to talk to me on the phone, I have heard from many of her other guy friends that they also do not call her becuase she doesnt answer her phone. So basically my only outlet to her is texting and I dont think that appropriate for talking about us. I knew once the fall semester started that we would not see each other as much and that I shouldnt expect all the attention I had gotten in the summer semester. However, in our classes this week, she ignored me quite a bit, and I know that there was other guy friends with us so its not surprisng but she seemed colder and not has interested in talking to me. I realize that I dont have the same interests as most of her friends, and in fact have not met most of them but I didnt think she would just totally change once the fall semester started. I am also in a class in which one of her guy freinds is in with me without her. We sat together and he said that he hangs out over there alot during the week as he lives far away and hangs out their during his breaks between classes. He also said she has over other guy friends during the week that hang out with him. Obviously though, I had no idea this occured until then and was not invited by her. Now again I understand that most of her guy friends she has known for years but I thought she would ask me at some point. Im also not sure if this was just a bad week for her and the fact that in terms of her friends I am low on the list. So I am clueless as to why she is acting this way toward me. It doesnt help that I can never get alone with her to talk to her about this.

So I came to the conclusion after this week that its probably just a good idea to just let everything go. I am her newest friend and she has known all her other friends far longer then me. However, I was the only one that she fooled around with as the others are just friends. I think that I might have been a summer fling because most of her friends were out of the area over the summer and she was more willing to hang out with me. I was going to text her tomorrow but I felt based on her behavior that it might be best just to see her in class on wednesday. I want to clarify though that she wasnt outright rude to me, like she didnt say something to me or give me a dirty look, she was just giving me a cold shoulder.

Does anyone have any advice for me or been in a similar situation?

Is this just a common problem with girls who have many guy friends and have a somewhat guy personality? I have been very nice to her and I cant come up with anything as to why she is acting like this.

[Kromat]

Some people like to be bothered less during school time.
She had more free time before, but now wants to focus on what matters to her atm.
Don't think like she's doing anything wrong, people need some time to be alone.

[lastwish]

Let things flow natually. Don't ever ask her why she is being cold to you because thats just annoying. Kromat is right, she might have other things to focus on now or perhaps she likes to hang with other people now. Its totally natural. Let her have her freedom and if she wants to hang out with you again, she'll contact you.

[jtom]

So should I ask her to do something in the future? I guess I feel I have to be a gentlemen and iniaitate things. I thought I could ask her sometime next week. I havent contacted her since about wednesday.

[lastwish]

hmmm..sure. Wait awhile before you ask her out.If she refuses again then let her ask you the next time.

[jtom]

That was what I was planning to do, definetly wait a little while before asking again, I will probably wait at least a week, probably a week and a half. Would asking her after class to go somewhere with me and her other friend be a good ice breaker? Meaning would it be a good thing to ask to do instead of asking her out on a "date." I actually really do like one of her friends that we have class with so I dont mind going somewhere with him. I guess I just feel like im on the outside becuase she knows all her friends alot longer then me.

I guess at this point I will just wait and see whether this will be a long term break for us or whether it was just not a good week for her. I think I might have been a little fast in assuming things were over.

Thanks!

Anyone else?