vanishing date...

[dvlsqzty]

So - need some advice on this one. Dated a successful older guy briefly... maybe 3 dates over the course of a month [not unusual for different cities and busy schedules] but talked progressively from every 3 days to every day in past couple of weeks; amazing first date, met his mother on the 2nd date [little strange, I'll give you that, but thought it was cute] and 3rd date. Conversation in all dates surrounded marriage/family [is late 40s and looking to remarry]; has referred to me as his "girlfriend" in passing since the first date; asked about how my family would like him - the works... Everything seemed all right, until he left for a business trip - after being gone that weekend he didnt return a call, and I finally had to call him again at the end of the week to make sure he was all right - he acted normal [sort of put out I called] and just said everything was fine, that he'd just been really busy with work... which I understand, so dropped it. We were both out of town this last weekend, and again, I didnt hear from him until the end of the 2nd week, several days after he got back and again, I had to call him; when we spoke, he seemed anxious to make another date over the weekend- so set up a tenantive time the following Monday [I had houseguests that weekend].. however I woke up to a text message from him that was strangely unpersonal, requesting the number of a serious party friend of ours. I finally sent him a message asking what exactly was going on, was he interested in dating anymore - in a non-confrontational, "hey, its ok, just please tell me whats up" tone... And no response to that, or any message I've sent since. So - I'm obv. upset ... but more curious as to any insight as to how someone goes from "meet my mom" mega-serious to DOA in under 72 hours? This one seems to have everyone stumped.

[Cain]

I don't see how you can be "mega-serious" over the course of three dates anyways. I think you might have been thinking the relationship was going faster than it was.

How old are you?

[dvlsqzty]

Fair question - Im in my 30s, he's upper 40s... and the course was WEIRD, agreed. Conversations from date 1 was on how he wanted to get remarried, and on my thoughts on parenthood and when I wanted to have children; like full-blown "whats the plan"; same with the 3rd date... VERY family focused; throw that in with "hey, meet my mom" right away... and you've got something that at least was perceived as serious on my end [although maybe it wasnt; but it doesnt really make sense that way either]

[Cain]

You both moved way too fast... to be talking about marriage and a kids so quickly. I'm not your age, so I don't know if that's the normal thing to do? But I know that at my age, that would be a serious deal breaker... someone talking about marriage and kids, especially involving me, after only one date.

[dvlsqzty]

Yeah - it was definitely, definitely sort of a flag; I was concerned, but sort of interpreted it as "I just dont want to/dont have time to date someone for whom this isnt a possibility" -- sort of preclearance... None of that seemed to be an issue though... so I guess whats bothering me is that someone that would come on that strong and serious [I'm leaving out a little of little pieces, the sms flowers and cute daily texts, nightly phone calls] - a seriously aggressive pursuit - just died over a weekend. Cant figure out how'd that happen and its leaving me a little shaken as to whats going on in the heads w/ men generally, if this is something that occurs [although most of my guy friends think its completely nuts]

[Cain]

It was only a month, though. You'd have both still been in the honeymoon stage. I don't find it weird that he might have lost interested after a month.