Women in charge...

[shh!]

It's very interesting how you could even attempt to use language shifts and try to frame the situation any differently. Unless you can relate to this kind of relationship yourself and feel a little guilty about doing some of this, that would definitely explain why you feel this way and are getting all defensive.

Actually, I can relate to this dynamic in a relationship, but not the way you think. I was in the "victim" role with my first serious boyfriend. YES, his ethics and values were poor and he took advantage of me, BUT I allowed it.

Which part of this picture do you imagine you have control over?

A + B = C

A is a constant figure, and cannot be changed.
B is a variable.
In order to change the outcome (C), what would YOU do?

[starbuck]

Why do people let to get the same message across with different words?

It's called a consensus, and can be helpful. Especially given that this is a love advice forum.

Now go make me some breakfast!

[1averagejoe]

Oh, god. Another whiner thread. Guys, if your girls are taking advantage of you, it is YOUR fault. Take some responsibility. You are only a victim if you allow it, and women aren't the enemy.

You're right...I'm guilty of this.

Yeah. I used to be a pushover like that. I was raised to be nice and polite to women who were supposedly more emotionally sensitive. All they did was take advantage of it. Then they wonder why chivalry is dead.

It's not too hard for a woman to be in charge in a relationship. All she has to do is manage the character of the guy. If she wants him to do something, she can bicker at him for being such a "bad boyfriend or jerk" for not doing it. When he finally does it, she can praise him for being such an "awesome boyfriend". It could be anything from taking out the trash to getting her a new home.

If that doesn't work, then just make him feel guilty or cast shame in his direction. As punishment, making him feel bad. And if all else fails, just keep nagging until he gives in. Didn't your mother teach you all this? Guys will fall for it, they'll believe you're an angel and they'll want to take care of you. It will never run through their mind that all of it is control and manipulation tactics. If it ever does, you just break things off and tell the world that he was abusive and insensitive. What more emotional control do you what?

Boy...that sounds oohhh soo familiar. lol

Never again.