So Scared?

[dolphindelight]

Well I have a delima, my bf and i broke up and we're now together again, kinda. He went to go and meet this girl online who he claims is just a friend, and that there;s nothing between him. The problem is that this is the same girl who he was talking with when he and I werent speaking. Now then technically we're not officially together however we're currently not dating anyone else. My problem is that hes staying at this girls house and I'm afraid that they're going to sleep together. He's going to be staying with her for 12 days.

He told me before he left that he wants to marry me and that there's nothing between he and this girl.

[debris]

Why is he staying at the girl's place in the first place?

I would be concerned too if I were you.

[1averagejoe]

Wth? What happened the first time that caused you to break up?

Chances are the same reason is going to cause you to break up again. Second there is no way this guy doesn't have feelings for this girl still if he had them before. I would be very upset if I was in your situation.

Do you honestly want to marry this guy? I mean you're already questioning your relationship with this guy. Do you want to spend the rest of your life wondering about him?

[dolphindelight]

he has no money for a hotel. I thoguth that it wouldnt bother me cause he told me that theres nothing between them but, it seems to be eating me up. I just really dont want them having well um sleeping together. Since hes never met her before and since shes pretty much a stranger, and if they sleep together it would just feel like prostitution in a way since, they sleep with strangers, it would feel like the same thing to me. So I could never see him the same way again.

[dolphindelight]

Wth? What happened the first time that caused you to break up?

Chances are the same reason is going to cause you to break up again. Second there is no way this guy doesn't have feelings for this girl still if he had them before. I would be very upset if I was in your situation.

Do you honestly want to marry this guy? I mean you're already questioning your relationship with this guy. Do you want to spend the rest of your life wondering about him?

the reason why hes staying with her is cause he has no money. He and i just basically needed a break from each other. We were together for almost 6 years and we just needed a break from each other. However when we started talking again (which was only 4-5 days after) we rekindled our romance. We've been happy ever since. However now hes with some stranger who he doesnt really know and i just feel sick.

[starbuck]

Dolphin, I understand your being upset. I would be, too. From reading your post though, I wasn't quite sure what that status of your relationship is. You say you're not quite together, but not quite dating other people.

This lack of clarity about what your the relationship is can cause BIG problems. It could be that he is taking advantage of the situation since you're technically not together?

Regardless, your boyfriend sounds selfish. He's never met this woman yet he's going to plant himself at her house for 12 days because it saves him money? All the while knowing it makes you upset in the midst of trying to rekindle your relationship? If you are trying to rekindle, this should be his priority. He should be there with you trying to make things work.

I'd think very seriously about whether you want to marry this guy. How did he treat you during the 6 years you were together?

[dolphindelight]

At first I was totally fine with him going there but now it seems to be eating me up, and I honestly can't understand why. Our relationship was wonderful during that time we were inseperable. We went on vacations, we did things together, we had a wonderful time together. We were even engaged to be married. Then we had some problems, he worked all the time and that created some stress in the relationship. He recently lost his job so he has no money. He didnt even want to spend the money to take a cab to her house. He walked there almost 10 miles, and she made no plans of transportation to get him from the airport.

[starbuck]

Why did he take the trip? Was it for a job interview?

[shh!]

Why on earth would you keep a guy like this? Do you realize the vast majority of boyfriends wouldn't even have the nerve to ASK their girlfriends if this outrageous behvaior was okay?

Girl, you sound like a doormat, I'm sorry to say. He isn't treating you with even the tiniest bit of respect.

[dolphindelight]

He took the trip cause he felt trapped back at home. He basically wanted to get away, out of the town that hes been in for years.

[starbuck]

He took the trip cause he felt trapped back at home. He basically wanted to get away, out of the town that hes been in for years.

Wow, Dolphin. Your boyfriend lost his job and has no money, but leaves town because he feels "trapped"? The WORST time to take a trip is when you are flat broke, in my opinion. He is totally running away from his responsibilities right now.

This seems like very childish behavior on his part actually. No wonder you're upset. Do you want to be with a guy who shrugs off his responsibilities like this?

[dolphindelight]

I'm also upset cause he cant use his cell phone. He told me that while shes around, meaning in the room. He cant call me, or probably anyone else. He seems to be currently cut off from everyone. This is something that worries me since he's out in the middle of nowhere. I dont know if he was being polite to her by not being on his phone or if he just can't use it. The whole situation just seems bizare to me. I would never in my life go to a strangers house and stay there for 2 weeks.

[shh!]

You would if you were fcuking them.

[Cain]

He may not be going there with the intentions of ****ing her, but I doubt she's thinking of letting him stay there for nearly two weeks without him earning it.

[kene]

I think your "boyfriend" is lacking and you should try for a better relationship.