I am so torn up inside with my life. I am beginning to hate my parents to the point where whenever I leave there is no turning back. Everybody is always saying how spoiled I am with my parents when they hardly know anything. You could spoil me with money and clothes and all that shit but it will never be as worthy as love and care. NEVER. I feel like I am taking care of 4 children, with only ONE being my OWN and only ONE being an actual child. I hate how drunk my parents get, so drunk I have to help them inside to their beds. So drunk I cant even talk to either of them when a certain time of day comes. So drunk that I feel uncomfortable living here. I hate how my brother could care less and all he does is sit at the computer during the drama and act like nothing is going on. I hate how they would literally kill me for pouring the source of all problems down the drain. I hate how they act like they could care less if I were to leave as long as I left my daughter. I HATE THAT MY MOTHER CONSTANTLY TRIES TO PLAY MOTHER ROLE WITH MY ****ING DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!!! I HATE IT SO ****ING MUCH. IT PISSES ME THE **** OFF THAT MY ****ING MOTHER IS TAKING CONTROL OF MY DAUGHTER'S LIFE, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. SHE ACTS LIKE SHE WILL HATE ME IF I EVER MOVE OUT WITH HER. I HATE IT SOOOOOOOOOO ****ING MUCH!!!! I am ****ing TIRED of being treated like a ****ing child. I am tired of bering constantly put down. I AM TIRED OF MY FATHER ALWAYS INSULTING MY PARENTAL SKILLS. I am tired of the stress I am put through with my family, I dont have anywhere to escape. I know I do not have it worse than everybody, but I can not handle what I already am dealing with. I have tried many suicide attempts but everytime I do I always think of my daughter and just break down and cry. I cant leave her with these drunks. I cant leave her on the earth with people like that. I HATED my childhood. Yea, I got alot of stuff I wanted, but if I could turn back time and be the brokest mother****ers with the most heart I WOULD HAVE LOVED IT. I would not feel so broken up inside. I would not feel like there's no one I can run to. Its so ****ing bad to me tht Im on the internet venting to people I dont even know and some that dont even like me. It SUCKS! My two best friends are away to college and Im still here, with a child, or should I say 4. I have dealt with this for so long and it is tearing me to shreds. One of these days, I can see myself literally giving up on life regardless of my daughter. It is VERY selfish, I know that, but living this life is worst than being dead. I feel so psychotic from all the abuse from family and friends and relationships. I have a MEGA anger problem and have been trying to work on it for so ****ing long but it is so ****ing hard to do so when my parents are barely able to be there for me but they are quick to jump and get the vodka. My daughter is more than enough stress for me, why the **** do I have to take care of my parents annd little brother too? My brother is 15 years of age and acts like an asshole. The burden is left on me, the only girl of 5 ****ing children, and I already have my own daughter to take care of. Gosh, there is SO much more I have to get off my chest, but I really shouldnt be here talking about this shit. This here that I already stated is more than enough info and it is not even half of what I have been through. I just want to be free of this stress and move on but I cant. I dont know what to do, so Im stuck venting on a forum....