Contact with a [recent] ex [fiance]? wild jealousy or justified?

[Phoenix_Blue]

I recently discovered my bf still has his [recent] ex [fiance] on his yahoo messenger buddies list and talked to her at least once recently. And he even admitted when i asked later that he was the one to message her.

I've known for a bit my boyfriend had this serious relationship with his last ex [albeit it ended badly], and it was a while before we met, much less started dating [though he didn't tell me it was only a few months before or, for the longest time, they were actually engaged]. And everyone has a past- i certainly do. I also know she cheated on him quite a bit, even using his car to go see the other guy, using their apartment- And it seems from what i was told by both him and his mom she wasn't the best gf either- didn't treat him that well, stole from him, etc. And it gave him huge negavtive mis-perceptions of himself, of others. All that it makes this more confusing/frustrating to try and figure.

Because he still defended her too & acts like she had a problem but was just mis-understood [which might've been true but didn't help]- even seemed like he'd still like to talk to her, be online friends or something. Even brought up not too long after i heard him tell his mom he talked to his ex again [i was in the room, sure, but he didn't tell *me*- plus i was far enough away- esp. cause he talked fast and quiet a lot], that [this recent ex] knew a lot about this certain subject [i'd bemoaned my bad back again] and he could ask her. So casually. And he's mentioned her enough in the past.

I don't know- is it just wild jealousy, especially cause i know he really loves me, or is this weird behavior?

[alter_ego]

It's hard to say if he still has a thing for her, specially since I've never met the guy. But it does seem a bit as if he still has a thing for his ex. But then again, I don't know the guy.

If you love and trust each other, then I would suggest that you let it go and that "thing" will pass with time.

If you how ever feel that this is becoming an issue, the I would say that you need to address it. Talk to your BF, ask him.

Don't accuse him, that would only make him switch to "defensive mode".