I never thought this could happen to me...

[Uncertain]

I've been with the same girl for nearly a year. I think she loves me a lot more than I love her and she is emotionally dependent. On top of that, She has suffered of severe depression in the past. She is always telling me that her life would mean nothing without me.I met her family and her parents think I'm the best thing that could ever happen to their daughter. They even invited me to an European country where they rented a country house next summer. They are paying for everything, even my plane ticket. Because I'm a bastard, I made her I lot of promises about our future together that I'm not sure I can keep now.

Obviously, I started to question our relationship because I met someone else. She's just a friend for now, but I have the feeling that I would be a lot happier with her. She's more attractive physically, but that's a small advantage compared to her personality. Her interests are a lot closer to my own. I invited her and she is coming to visit me and stay at my place for a week in July.

My girlfriend knows about my new friend and I assured her that there was absolutely no reason to be jealous, which is false. Whenever the phone rings or I receive an e-mail, I find myself disappointed when it's my girlfriend instead of my new friend.

She sees me as friend as well for now, but I know I could get her heart with a finger snap. She fancies another guy right now, but he's obviously a retard who doesn't give her the attention she deserves. What kind of idiot would refuse the advances of a girl for months?

I have never cheated on anyone, so if anything was to happen with this new girl, I would have to break up with my girlfriend first. So now I have to choose between breaking someone's heart and dealing with the emotional blackmail that that will follow for at least a year. It's almost certain that this will send her right back into depression and probably make her fail her last year in University. As if the heart breaking wasn't enough, I could end up messing up her professional life.

Or sticking with my current girlfriend while expecting that this new flamme is just puppy love that will eventually fade away. If not, then live with the regret that I wasted my time with the wrong person and probably risking that my real love ends up with another guy.

I dont know what to do. I would feel guilty to break up with my current girlfriend, but I don't want to be with her just because I feel morally obligated to do so. I think the best thing to do for now is to wait and see how I get along with this new friend when we are together.

edit: Now that I think about it, even if things didn't go perfectly with this new friend, this whole incident shows me that maybe I should get out of my current relationship anyway.

[keine_Engel]

I think that, before you do anything, you should take time to think. What do you really want of your friend? Is it just a physical attraction? Is it just a crush? Or are you really in love with her?

If it is just an attraction or a crush, I suggest not breaking up with your girlfriend. These things desappear easily, but not love. Sometimes, crushes may blind you and make you believe you are not in love with your girlfriend anymore.

If you really feel you are in love with you friend, break up with your girlfriend. It is better for you to be honest about your feelings than being with her, not loving her, just because you don't want to hurt her. It is a beautiful attittude, but if she found out you loved someone else, she'd be awful. It will not be easy to break up with her, but it isn't your fault she is depressive... yes, it will be hard on her too, but she'll go through it. And, most of times, people learn to be less depressive when going through these kind of situations.

I must advise you I don't have any experience in this, I'm just saying what I believe to be right. It is now a question of putting you feellings in order... anyway, good luck.

[Clifton]

obviously hes not in love with her or he wouldnt feel this way heh