Is it normal to feel jealous like I do?

[Arrow]

Well, the girl I like (she's my roommate at college) tends to go out regularly. Even though she's single (from what I know of course) and she stated in the past she doesn't think she'll find a worthy boyfriend at nightclubs, I feel insane jealousy and anxiety when I think of her out there in the night. I could just do the same but I can't just go alone, it doesn't show anything to anyone plus it's a lot better when you enjoy it with other people. So, even though I don't have anything beyond friendship with her yet, I feel a bit hurt in my pride when I imagine her dancing around and catching the attention of men, maybe flirting with them, kissing them... That's the end of the world for me and I know I can't do anything about it.

I'm afraid I'm just being too possessive and eager to fight her back by going out and trying to flirt with women just like I imagine she does with men, and it eats me from the inside that I don't have the same means to do it as she does, heck, I even think I'm not being "good enough" to kiss her. It drives me mad sometimes, it really does.

[Off2College]

yeah, jealousy is normal in college.

[miSSleepy]

jealousy is normal in college? that's a very meaningless statement.

To the OP, you need to get off your butt and do something yourself. There are two reason's you're so jealous:

1. you really like this girl
2. she goes out and you do nothing

how about you ask her out? and you go out together?

[Junket]

You're the type who is going to break down one day and kill somebody.

Get a f*cking grip man.

[Arrow]

You're the type who is going to break down one day and kill somebody.

Get a f*cking grip man.

I hope it doesn't get to that point.

It really doesn't help me that I never had a girlfriend (despite a few tries) and thus have a tendency to antecipate failure and interpret facts in a negative way.

This girl, she claimed she wanted me as a friend, so I'm going slowly. She left a relationship recently, it's not a good enough excuse but commiting to someone is a bit serious and she doesn't give signs of wanting commitment. By how she behaves towards me I guess she likes me so it's better to just plant the seed and attack at the right time when she feels more comfortable.

Of course I could be wrong but I still love her anyway, she has something special that I haven't seen in other girls.

[miSSleepy]

ask her out as a friend then

[Arrow]

ask her out as a friend then

That's not a bad idea. Considering she still talked to me regularly even after I gifted her with a chocolate box a few months ago... It took many signs from me for her to "realise" I was interested in her, which I really don't understand. You don't give a box of carefully decorated chocolate with a golden bow to friends. Why wouldn't she have said that just after I gave her the chocolate?

At least I can come up with the chocolate excuse now. But I'll wait a little more.

[xO Lanna]

Listen Arrow, it seems to me that you have n self-confidence. What you need to do is pull yourself together! First thing you need to do is get off your butt! First, go out and get a new haircut. Grab one of your chick friends and go shopping. Ask her what she thinks is cute (you should always get a girls opinion). Do this so your roommate will notice you! Find out what she likes. THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX! Any guy can guy a girl chocolate. You need to do something that will give you a shot in her mind. The final advise I can give you is make her jealous! Find a cute girl around school and ask her over to hang out!

[miSSleepy]

Listen Arrow, it seems to me that you have n self-confidence. What you need to do is pull yourself together! First thing you need to do is get off your butt! First, go out and get a new haircut. Grab one of your chick friends and go shopping. Ask her what she thinks is cute

I really cannot see any straight guy doing that

[IndiReloaded]

You don't give a box of carefully decorated chocolate with a golden bow to friends. Why wouldn't she have said that just after I gave her the chocolate?

LOL! Are you kidding? Its b/c you are friend & have been giving her mixed signals. I had a friend send me a *bouquet of flowers & jewelry* & I was confused as to what it meant until some folks straightened me out. Love ain't for the timid, Arrow.

I would start by taking her out as friend. Try this for a couple of times, just to get a feel for how she responds to you. Then, at some point, you are going to need to be ABSOLUTELY CLEAR you want to take her out on a *date*. As more than friends.

If she recoils, then forget it. If she jumps on you & sticks her tongue in your mouth, then you're on.

[ecojeanne]

gifts mean nothing arrow, do you know anything about her? get into understanding her and her feelings....i know it might sound cliched but be a sensitive guy but don't be a pansy...be a strong man who 'gets her'. otherwise just forget it, you've no chance if you're not willing to 'talk' about her personally with her.....if and when you get the chance to talk to her. but like i said don't forget you're a strong but sensitive MAN.....

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOHYKy57cHI"]YouTube - Scotty The Pansy[/ame]


this video ....i'm not saying is you arrow....it's an skit on pansies hehe

[Arrow]

THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX!

Well I tried to "think outside the box" by talking to her on MSN now but she left shortly after... I've had it happen on me before (with another girl) and sometimes it doesn't mean anything. But you gotta try something.

Tomorrow I'll see her in class and I'll just say hello and not sound too possessive.

[Junket]

Well I tried to "think outside the box" by talking to her on MSN now but she left shortly after... I've had it happen on me before (with another girl) and sometimes it doesn't mean anything. But you gotta try something.

Tomorrow I'll see her in class and I'll just say hello and not sound too possessive.

Yeah, but just saying hello, then ignoring her isn't going to help you either. You're just gonna confuse the hell out of her until she doesn't want to have anything to do with you.

[boobaa]

Be more brutal in life. Know what you want, get what you want. I recently learned that, now I just have to figure out how.

So, how well do you actually know her? Maybe on evening just say "hey we don't have nothing to do so lets go out together for a night, sip some drinks and have fun?"

And that 'just hello in a class' thing just happened to me lately, heh. I feel your concern.

[Arrow]

Yeah, but just saying hello, then ignoring her isn't going to help you either. You're just gonna confuse the hell out of her until she doesn't want to have anything to do with you.

Sometimes I do that because I really don't know what to talk to her without sounding too nervous and fake.

And I'm going through a bad weekend - I'm stuck because I'm alone and I want to break away from my family so I'm not going to them for support. I talked to her on MSN because I was desperate to exchange words with someone, anyone, and she just happened to be there. I believe I'm also making too much out of her not answering me, since she did that a few times in the past and when we met she apologised to me and said she sometimes wasn't even in front of the computer despite being online. It happened with another girl too but it didn't have anything to do with me.

I'm in terrible need to talk to someone and my main friends are way older than me and have a lot of other stuff going on for them so I'm really suffering. And my family isolates me because they think that if I don't have friends I'll keep coming back to them and falling into their trap... Really, I don't think anyone deserves what I'm going through right now. I'm actually preferring to go to work than having free time.