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Thread: How long can a guy stay in denial?

  1. #1
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    How long can a guy stay in denial?

    My room mate still denies that the girl who's living in his bedroom and sleeping in his bed for the last 5 months is his girlfriend. He prefers the terminology of a "close friend" (who he coincidently won't allow near other guys).

    A few days ago after his "close fiiend" said she's fed up with the dirtiness and had a meet up with her ex, my room mate bought her a boquet of roses, a diamond ring (which he claimed to me was second hand to lower its importance) and allegedly told her that he loves her (he claims while he was drunk, thus it's not on the record). He still goes bordeline homicidal if you tell him he has a girlfriend even though they are with each other every single day in what seems to be a structured neo-marital arrangement.

    So wierd is this anomalie, I'm at a loss to say how long this will go on for.
    Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
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  2. #2
    IndiReloaded's Avatar
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    Is she paying rent yet, Mish? I think your patience is remarkable & your roomate is an asshole, if not.

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    He sounds like he wants to be off the hook in case something better comes around. While that's not happening, he can default back to the 'close friend' sharing his bed. All he's required to do is throw in a couple of flowers and diamonds once in awhile to keep her interested.

    She's dumb for letting him get away with it.
    Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mohandas Gandhi

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    So, you're saying this might be a part of him keeping her on a leash?

    Hmmm


    Indi, she's not paying rent
    Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
    Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
    Towards the sun, carry your name
    In warm hands you are given
    Ask the wind for the way
    Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
    Accept all as it is and do not blame
    God or the Devil
    ~Born to Live - Mavrik~

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    That's what it sounds like to me. Of course, there's always the chance she's using him a bit too....but you said she was getting upset about the situation, so that's what leads me to believe she's not. She should be paying rent though.
    Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mohandas Gandhi

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    Illusional's Avatar
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    maybe he's afraid of the commitment.

    raverboy
    ...this is just my perspective on the situation...

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    Definite commitment phobia in play here. That or he still wants to appear to have "cred" with the guys hence him down playing a ring and saying I love you.

    He sounds like a bit of a tool Mish...why does she stay with him?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dasein View Post
    why does she stay with him?
    She claims when one falls in love there's nothing one can do and should keep on falling. Also she said she loves having fun which he provides constantly.

    Though she told me she's afraid of commitment as well.



    Maybe they complete each other?
    Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
    Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
    Towards the sun, carry your name
    In warm hands you are given
    Ask the wind for the way
    Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
    Accept all as it is and do not blame
    God or the Devil
    ~Born to Live - Mavrik~

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mishanya View Post

    Though she told me she's afraid of commitment as well.



    Maybe they complete each other?

    It sounds like it to me.

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    you need a new roommate.
    baby ya hustle. but me i hustle harder.


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    I'm moving out in 2 weeks
    Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
    Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
    Towards the sun, carry your name
    In warm hands you are given
    Ask the wind for the way
    Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
    Accept all as it is and do not blame
    God or the Devil
    ~Born to Live - Mavrik~

  12. #12
    Charlie Boy II's Avatar
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    listen to you wiminz go on about rent. A mate I was living with had the most abrasive foul mouthed yankee living with us/him for six months, and none of us even thought about bringing up rent. That's what mates are for!
    Is it burnin'? Well, f-ck, now you're learnin'.

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    I actually have a close friend and I do get upset when people assume we are together, like uber-pissed cuz I hear it everyday. We hang out alot, like a whole lot, but we're not even intimate. We've never done anything for anyone to say we are together. All they can say is they see us hang out alot. I dont see myself being with him, I already told him this so he doesnt think I'm leading him on, but we're just cool. Is it impossible to be close friends with someone of the opposite sex? Everytime people see us it pisses me off cuz they always assume we're together. I've always wanted to stop talking to him because I'm tired of people thinking we're together when we're not even close to being together. Sometimes I think he tells people we're together as well and if I found that out, I'd **** him up.

    Anyway, I brought my current situation into this thread cuz of the question at hand. He's probably not in denial, maybe they really arent together. I would also say its commitment issues because of what he does for her. They'd be better off calling each other bf/ and gf at that rate. But yea they're probably really not together.
    ..::.*Love is giving someone the ability to break your heart but trusting them not to*.::..

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    They sleep in the same bed every night Nisha
    Is it burnin'? Well, f-ck, now you're learnin'.

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    I know, but that doesnt HAVE to mean they are technically together. Plus, I dont see the sense in being together if you're not going to claim one another. So I settled for them just not wanting to be in a relationship right now.

    EDIT: I'm not disagreeing with you guys, I'm just saying they dont have to hold the title as bf and gf even if they act like they do.
    ..::.*Love is giving someone the ability to break your heart but trusting them not to*.::..

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