My Story

[Vain]

I have been more of a troll then a regular here I guess. I liked reading about how other people dealt with their relationships and always intended to reply and help those in need of advice but I just never really did. So in spite of this, I was wondering if anyone would read my lengthy story of my life in the past 2 years if I were to post it or should I not bother?

[snoz]

Why not ay, just make sure it's relevant I guess I'm feeling up to a talk about life haha

[Vain]

Might not be relevant to you. I just feel I need to disclose this and whether I get feedback or not is alright I guess. Although it would be appreciated.

[snoz]

oh sorry I meant relevant to the forum topic, maybe somewhere in personal development but yeah no, you don't have to hold back just post whatever's on your mind

[miSSleepy]

do you need people to comment on your life, or a particular problem? Personally, I'm not up to reading an essay on someone's life. A problem at a time is fine, though.

But I'm not here to tell you what to post, so post whatever you want.

[Vain]

How about an essay on someone's life with a question at the end on how I should take things from here?

[ecojeanne]

you're taking the piss now, why post a thread about posting a thread?.....just DO IT my friend

let the people decide

[Vain]

Forget it. Sorry to lead everyone on. But maybe one day I will post it. It ends with my breakup which happened 5 hours ago.

She said she does not want to be with me knowing she can't give me everything I deserve. Part of her loves me. But she can't keep it going without giving her whole heart to me as she feels I deserve. I love her. I have never loved someone like this before and have no with her not entirely commited to me yet. We started off making this clear that she would not be. We both were fine with it and then today, she feels its not right until her whole heart is there for me. Right now I am giving her the time she deserves and asked for but my question will mean nothing unless full background of my story is known.

Sorry to lead those of who were interested but it's just when I tried to type it up, it became 7 pages. Sorry again but maybe one day I will.

[ecojeanne]

aw vain, sorry about your break up. it might be good to vent on here whenever you feel ready. good luck

[snoz]

Hang in there mate, you're confused too so don't be sorry here.

[Vain]

The thing is it is my fault. We had been so good of friends for so long, when we became close, she told me she couldn't give me her whole heart since her heart is still partly with her ex. The last two months have been the greatest of my life and we both led each other on. Its not over, she doesn't want it to be and neither do I. We both love each other that's for sure. It's just she feels it is unfair for me to only have part of her heart and her receive mine in it's entirety. I was confused you are right snoz but not anymore. We talked today, she feels she needs space to figure herself out. I can do that for her and so I am no longer confused nor unhappy. I am just waiting through what seems like an eternity, even though it has been 6 hours.

[TheGreek]

Best of luck to you man, hope everything works out for you.

[Gigabitch]

Vain, I remember you. I'm actually interested. It doesn't matter if it's super long as long as you format it correctly and provide a Cliff's Notes version at the beginning. Some will read the whole thing, most won't, but at least you'll get it out there.

[Vain]

Really? Haha sweet. Yeah I hit 7 pages on Microsoft Word the night I started this post... It looks as though its in my favor but it's tough to figure it out. The break seems to be helping her realize what we mean for each other.

[Vain]

Once upon a time…

So my relationship with Emily began at the end of Grade 11. Both new to the whole thing, things seemed amazing. She always hinted towards having sex with me, didn’t think much of it. Very long story short, she absolutely fell in love with me and only wanted sex. I couldn’t break it off because every time I planned to, something tragic happened such as her parents got a divorce. This lasted for 10 months, I felt like I couldn’t leave her. We had sex I didn’t even think about it, and after every time I regretted it. Not the only reason I did not want to be with her however, the feelings just weren’t there, I despised her laugh (I pride myself on my sense of humor), and the reason she talked me into sex. She helped me with my depression; she claimed that since she helped me she deserved for me to do this for her.

I began working at PetSmart around the same time I began seeing Emily. There I met 2 friends whom I saw nearly every weekend: Mikey and Ashley. We would hang out and play video games. Three of us were really good friends, Ashley was with her boyfriend of 2.5 years. The two of us had chemistry, we were really good friends. Ashley and her boyfriend ended things mutually as he had moved away for school. Naturally, I began having feelings for her; she was very attractive and we just got along so well. A quality I have come to admire was how she talked to people, she is a very good listener, knows what to say when, and just makes you feel good about yourself. She gave me the strength to breakup with Emily and not for her own personal gain.

When I broke up with her she told me stuff like she thought she was going to marry me. I still shudder at the thought of her loving me that much. In the weeks that followed my breakup, my feelings for Ashley were ever present. I wasn’t about to make a move however. I really don’t make moves on girls, and I knew neither of us were really ready, especially her. Then one day at work Mikey calls me up to the office at work; it was a closing shift and he was the manager on duty. We begin talking about Ashley and how he describes what he thinks is attractive in her, and encourages me to go after her despite my recent breakup. I tell him although I do have feelings I’m not ready and she definitely isn’t either. He then proposes we shake on that we wouldn’t let her come between our friendship. We shake and it is known between us that we like her.

Mikey was the type of guy that seemed like he was a best friend to everybody. Everyone at worked seemed to get along with him and more so I discussed details of my relationship with him and mainly he was someone to vent to. Just all around a good guy and he seemed to have been through a lot, so you couldn’t help but feel bad for him.

Months pass, Mikey always seems to be hinting at how much me and Ashley would be good for each other, and it really seemed like it. But I never talked to her, I never really thought she would be interested just by how she acted with some others at work and I didn’t want to ruin anything between us. Then one day it all changes. Ashley comes up to me one night at work, and tells me how the store manager talked to her about whether she was dating Mikey. She asked out of curiosity, and also because managers and employees shouldn’t date out of a conflict of interest. She then hints that she is dating him and she is a little scared how our friendship would be. I felt devastated, but more so because Mikey lied to me. She left to go home. Mikey calls work and says we need to talk, I knew at that point what it would be about. He straight up tells me he is sorry and that he wanted to tell me for so long and that they had been dating since before we met in the office. It didn’t even occur to me yet that he lied to me and why he encouraged me to date her.
My thoughts as I walked home from my talk with him were solely on how I would deal with this situation. Turns out it wasn’t that hard. They never made it public and she acted the same with me. My feelings continued to grow and what was weird is I noticed she never seemed happy. The thing is, she would have to sleep at Mikey’s often when she didn’t have a ride home; she lived 40 minutes away out in more or less the country. She would come in from work, after being at his place, and seemed depressed. I always did my best to cheer her up and that only made me want her more.

Then again everything changed, this was months after everything, after both me and Ashley’s prom. I should probably also state that Mikey was 2 years our senior. Anyway, we had all planned to see a movie one day. Before it Mikey wanted to talk to me about Ashley again. He told me that they had broken up and that she invited him to a club the night before and acted like a slut, flaunted herself to him as she grinded with guys, and then got her friend to fight him when he confronted her about it. He also emphasized how much of a bitch she is. When I told him that doesn’t seem like her, he began telling me she has always been like this. We saw the movie and he acted as if everything hadn’t changed and as if the night didn’t happen, his anger was not there. I didn’t buy what he said, and so I asked to meet up with her to talk about it.

We met up and she told me what happened after she heard my surprising take on it. This was for her sister’s birthday and she invited him because he implied he wanted to go with her. They were in fact broken up and she felt he could at least mingle and go find other people but instead he stuck around her. She was dancing and grinding because that’s what you do in a club and it wasn’t as if she had an obligation to him and when she did dance with him, he just stood there. Her friend Grant was being protective of her because she made it clear she didn’t know what she wanted now that her boyfriend was out of the picture (the one of 2.5 years not Mikey). She never asked him to do anything, he brought Mikey outside because he was grabbing her arm and just all around not making it fun for her. He kept bothering her and trying to talk to her when she was dancing and trying to enjoy a night out with her sister. He just stood there as Grant talked to him, he didn’t say a word. Then he left. Not only did she discuss the night at the club but we also discussed other things he told us. For instance, he told her I always asked about them and wanted to know when they broke up so I could make a move right away. And he told me he wasn’t dating her and that I should go for it.

I believed her right away, partly because I did like her but mostly because she looked at me in the eye the entire time. She held emotion as she discussed details. So after we met up I wasn’t sure where this left me and Mikey but I took this as an opportunity for myself in a way to show her how well I could treat her.

Instead of going on with detail I will explain the basics again. Turns out Mikey is a pathological liar, he is bipolar, cut himself to make her feel bad for not wanting to be with him, cheats on her more then once, has a notorious history for deceiving people, and the two of us seriously consider if absolutely anything he told us is true. He also freaked out at me and claimed I broke them up, wanted to fight me, claimed I try to get people against him and then attempts just that himself. The irony is that he didn’t want me and Ashley to end up with each other. He told the lies he did to both of us so that we wouldn’t like each other, since we never considered them or believed them, they didn’t have any effect. And so he brought us closer. The summer passes, me and Ashley hang out a couple of times and things seem good but she gives me signs that she just wants me as a friend. Again I feel devastated but don’t think much of it again.

We both end up going to the same university, she lives in residence and I live at home. We became closer as we spent a lot of time together between classes, and I would go in early to see her. What seemed destined to never happen, happened. I got the girl of my dreams. Ashley had feelings for me to, and they had existed within her for the longest time. The chemistry was unbelievable; I had never felt like this with anybody before. I was definitely in love. Best of all she got along amazingly well with my family and friends. One thing I considered before we even saw each other was that how could I go from having copious amounts of sex to none at all, she was Christian. And that’s how much I liked her; I was willing to give that up, just because of how well we got along, how she made me feel. It was amazing. Here is the cherry on the cake, although Christian, she does not feel it wrong to fornicate and what’s more she is absolutely just breathtaking in bed. The perfect lover. But then I realized one day, I am in university what will come of my marks? I am paying for this! My midterms… I score 70%. Everything worked out perfectly, life couldn’t have been better.