I dated a single mom

[BigBear22]

I dated a single mom for 3 months, she is 4 yrs older than I am, I m 26 she is 30. Her son is only 1 and half years old. her divorce still have not finalize yet.

about 1 month ago, one night, she said she wanted to take a break for 1 month. She needed time to think about the future of her kid and herself. After a long talk I had to I agree...

during this one month, we exchanged emails from time to time. I got an email from her saying that it is not time for us to see each other yet. She went on and said that I am too younger for her and she needed a guy that she can rely on...

I understand at this point of my life, there is no way I can provide the kind of life that she wants for them. But I am working very hard to do so...

Her birthday is coming up next Monday, I was thinking that I should buy her a cake and some flowers and leave them at her door. But I don't know how would that make her feel?? Should I go for it or not??

Please help.

[Only-virgins]

****ing single mothers, they are so annoying.

[ecojeanne]

no don't, that could end up irritating the hell out of her. just wait, if you're sure you want to wait.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

There's nothing to wait for. She already made it clear she has to start living life for not only her, but also for her child. It's no longer just dating, more so building a family. Personally, I'd have let go. It'll save alot of heartache in the near future. Unless you have been breathing down her neck lately, I'd say do the gift thing. It's actually a sweet gesture.

[starbuck]

****ing single mothers, they are so annoying.

Kind of like people who come into a thread and have nothing to say?

[Gigabitch]

You can give her a birthday card, but the cake is over the top, It's something an immature, unrealistic, romantic fool would do.

This is not to say that it's a bad thing (I would love that kind of thing), but you're trying to sell yourself as "reliable", so cut the theatrics.

[starbuck]

I think flowers are nice, but a cake at her doorstep seems a little over the top. Plus, it could get attacked by a hungry animal. That would actually be kind of hilarious, but probably not the result you want.

I hate to break it to you, but there is nothing you can do to prove your responsibility to her at this point. You'll just have to stay friends with her and have some patience. Over time she will decide if you're responsible enough to date her or not, but the ball is completely in her court, sorry.

[BigBear22]

I am going to put a card and flowers on her doorsteps, I might still just put 2 small cakes for her and her son.

I really want to get her back... any other advice??

[To0C0oL]

Cut your loses..

You don't take breaks for a month, you "break-up"..

[vashti]

I think the cake and flowers will be seen as a sign you aren't accepting her reality. She's dumped you. It's time to move on.

[Gigabitch]

I suggest you try to figure out what she needed that you weren't giving her and try to do that. You were too young- why? Was it because of things you did? Do you play video games for hours at a time? Knock it off. Do you get plastered with your friends and come stumbling into the house at three in the morning? Knock it off.

No, she may not witness changes you make, but you'll be a different, more grown-up guy if she decided to give you another shot.

[BigBear22]

I dont play video games and I stopped partying after I met her. I stayed at her place on the weekend, I clean up, I do the dishes, I do house work at her house. But I cannot cook...

Maybe there is something that I did something wrong that I did not realize. Or maybe we saw each together too much, I spend 3 days at her place a week.

She is going through some money problem and I cannot really help her given I only work part time and go to school full time.

[vashti]

Her financial problems are not yours.

Listen, you only dated for a few months. You should really walk away from this and consider her breaking up with you a gift. It's a really bad idea for someone your age to get tied up with someone who has kids, especially when they have none of their own. You really have no idea what you'd be getting yourself into. There are lots of nice girls out there in the right age range for you without children. Try finding one of them.

[Enigma037]

I am going to put a card and flowers on her doorsteps, I might still just put 2 small cakes for her and her son.

I really want to get her back... any other advice??

Please, look at what you are about to do. you are going to give flowers and a card to someone who doesn't want to see you. This will not be viewed as "sweet". It is incredibly needy and it will only turn her off more. I'm not trying to be harsh, but giving gifts is not the way to get back into a relationship. Honestly, the only thing you can do is disregard her. If you keep chasing her, she will never come back to you. If it works out in the long run, it will be because she makes the next move. Quit chasing her. You need to develop the mindset that you are the prize. Every time you chase her, you are giving away more and more power. Hope that helps. Again, i'm not being harsh because it's something you need to hear. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask

[BigBear22]

I did it, I dropped off a cake, flower and a card... I know it is not going to cause any reaction, but I felt much better and I finally feel like there is nothing left i could do. Call me childlish but I did what I felt like doing. She could hate me or whatever but i feel so relief. Thanks everyone.