Foolishly told my gf someone she pointed out was hot! Now what?

[jrrudd7]

My girlfriend and I and 2 other couples went to a halloween party. My girlfriend is insecure about her body and looks when she is absolutely beautiful, so I do not know why.

We were all standig in line and she made a comment, "there are a lot of hot girls here" (she may have even said bitches...) When we got in the door, she said, "oh that girls costume is sweet" and I foolishly said, "she's hot" not realizing the impact of this statement. She couldn't believe I said it and it ruined the night.

She now believes I am not trustworthy because of this statement, she thinks I will find a more attractive girl and hurt her, so she is backing off. This is not the case though, the comment to me didn't mean anything and I would never cheat on my girlfirend, but I can't seem to convince her and she wants to throw our relationship away and not try to work through it...


any suggestions would be appreciated.

Thanks,
Jeff

[vashti]

Tell her you are sorry you said it, that it was foolish to say, and then drop it. This is not a YOU problem - it is a HER problem. The world is full of hot girls, and she is going to have to learn to live with that reality. Don't go hating yourself over her insecurity.

[Gigabitch]

Jeff, you ass. You need to learn to think about what you say before it comes out your mouth.

let it go. Yes, you're in trouble, and I assure you there is NOTHING you can say that will make this better. If you tell her it's because you're so comfortable around her, she'll conclude that you see her as a buddy, not a girlfriend. believe me- I'm a crazy bitch about stuff like this and the only thing you can do is NEVER do it again.

You might get some points by scolding another guy in front of her, just to show her you've learned the lesson.

For her part, she should try to come to terms with the fact that guys are visual and that the phrase "she's hot" runs through their minds constantly, and it doesn't mean the same thing it would if she were thinking it. It's the same thing as saying "it's raining" or "the moon is full".

[Gribble]

See, you need to learn to think on your feet. After that came out of your mouth and you saw her face tighten up you should have immediately said, "But not as hot as you, babe."

[Charlie Boy II]

Are you serious Giga?? I think this chick is just being a freak. "It ruined the whole night", what a joke.

[gogoguy]

If I had done that I probably would've had to duck.

[Gigabitch]

Are you serious Giga?? I think this chick is just being a freak. "It ruined the whole night", what a joke.

What, they don't have insecure freakos in Australia? Just because you haven't dated them doesn't mean nobody else does.

Of course she's being unreasonable, but then, so is any guy who points out how hot another girl is in front of his gf and expects not to get in trouble.

[ransom_nite]

so is any guy who points out how hot another girl is in front of his gf and expects not to get in trouble.

actually me and my girl have always pointed out good looking people of the opposite sex to each other, we dont find it offensive or anything because we arent insecure and it doesnt automatically mean im gonna go and get with her and she get with him, its natural to still look at others.

[starbuck]

She is totally overreacting. If it were me, I'd forgive him, but not until I milked as much apology-sex out of it as I could.

After a long talk about this, she should be able to forgive you. If she's still holding a grudge, then she is being incredibly insecure and uptight. I'd be wary of a girl that expects this much perfection from you.

That being said, the ball is sort of in her court because you goofed up and not her. Even though she's handling it badly, you can't really point her insecurities right now, although I suggest you both have a talk about it once the dust settles.

Maybe send her flowers with a note of apology? I know some may think it's over the top, but flowers work wonders for male goof-ups IMO.

[ransom_nite]

but flowers work wonders for male goof-ups IMO.

my girl hates flowers so im stuck with buying jewelry gahh...

[starbuck]

my girl hates flowers so im stuck with buying jewelry gahh...

What woman hates flowers? What is she, Cruella Deville? J/K

Not even simple flowers? I happen to like calla lillies and orchids because they're not so, well, flowery, but to be honest, it's the gesture more than anything. Jewelry works too if you're Mr. Moneybags.

[doppelgaenger]

my girl hates flowers so im stuck with buying jewelry gahh...

Get her flowers anyway. Really wanna piss her off? Buy her a plastic ring shaped like a flower.

[ransom_nite]

What woman hates flowers? What is she, Cruella Deville? J/K

Not even simple flowers? I happen to like calla lillies and orchids because they're not so, well, flowery, but to be honest, it's the gesture more than anything. Jewelry works too if you're Mr. Moneybags.

haha nope she doesnt like flowers at all but i love them! we kinda opposite in that respect, and in a few other areas too haha

[Aeradalia]

... Who cares if you think another girl is hot? You're with her... aren't you? That should mean something...such as maybe you look for more than just appearances...

...Sometimes women's insecurities ruin many good relationships and give men the wrong idea... It's a shame really...

[Lessia]

Apologize. You're not going to think its working bc shes not gonna show u. you ****ed up and shes gonna milk you for it until you bleed.
dont get angry though or say "enough is enough, u know i love you, dont i show you with everything that i do for you? I try so much to show u I care and then i do one bad thing and it all goes to shit" DO NOT say this. because then shes going to get even more angry, because now you're showin her shes wrong. just wait it out, do some bitch work for a day or two, call her too many times or something to make her feel like shes on top.