Need your help guys! - will he not call?

[Cirquel]

I met a guy on Friday night. I actually approached him, for the most part. He seemed shy-ish at first... we were at a club, and him and his two friends weren't dancing -- just hanging around close to the bar. My friend and I ended up talking to his group of friends. We were both quite flirtatious... he was a great conversationalist. His interest seemed to peek when he realized I was not a dummy. He told me his age, where he lived and where he works without me prying. He asked quite a few questions about my school when I told him I was a grad student; asked if I live with my parents or on my own; etc. I asked him how he knows his friends, etc.

At first, he was dancing fairly close, but not VERY close, and talking to me. At one point, I told him he should go dance up on one of the platforms, jokingly. He laughed, paused, and then said... I will if you will. I laughed and shook my head, and he said, "didn't think so!" and at that point finally pulled me close, putting a hand on my waist. We danced together for a bit until I realized it was time my friend and I needed to leave.

He then asked me for my number. I nodded a yes when he asked, and he raised his eyebrow and said, "No?" thinking it was a shake of the head. I laughed and said, "Yes, I'll give it to you." He said, "Oh! I was going to say: ouch!" He programmed it into his phone and showed it to me to make sure it was right.

That was Friday. It's Monday night now, and he hasn't called. The fact is... I really liked him. He was very mature -- said things to me (despite the loudness of the club) that conveyed he was down to earth. He was a gentleman... not grinding up against me... but did end up getting closer. We didn't speak excessively, but quite a lot.

And yet, he didn't call. Normally, I'm a good judge of character... he seemed like a great person. His two friends were very sweet, too (I talked to them a bit too).

It pains me that he would ask for my number, and not call; that he seemed interested, but it's been three days now. What happened?

I have to admit, I am smitten and very much hoping he will call me. I haven't run INTO a guy like this for so long. It's killing me, because I felt such an attraction towards him.

[Cirquel]

I went through your post, looking for something other than an excuse you spill your mature and intelligent heart all over the forum, and decided to find something that ended in a question mark. As a result, I ran into this:

Well, here:



And while you're at it, show us a picture of yourself. This does, more often than not*, explain everything about a man's reaction to a woman.

*always

Errrmmm... you do realize that by "what happened?" I meant... why exactly hasn't he called? And... I'm not trying to label myself as mature or intelligent. I was calling him mature. Not trying to preen my feathers here. I did, however, want to point out that he seemed more interested as we began to talk, and clicked on an intelligence level. I think that does -mean- something.

As far as posting my picture... that's a bit harsh, isn't it? Beauty is still relative. Also, I am not ugly enough to deter people. That should suffice for an explanation. Nevertheless, I will try to attach one...!

(I included the second image, cause that was pretty much what I wore that night. I don't dress slutty!)

[snoz]

Well it's only been three days and maybe he's just been busy. Or perhaps he loves to chat like me but either way just wait a bit longer, else I think it doesn't always have to be the guy calling the girl back.

and don't mind voxx, he or she or it is just a troll

[TimJ]

Cirquel -

While I don't know what he is thinking, I can only guess. Perhaps he wasn't as interested in you as you were in him. Perhaps he IS busy and will get back to you. Perhaps he is not at a stage in life where he wants a relationship. It's hard to say. Many guys think differently, and alot of it is, as you say based on their maturity.

All you can do is either wait or move on. My suggestion is to move on. You just met the guy, and, realistically, aren't THAT attached to him. If he is interested in you, he'll call back. If not, don't waste your time. You can't MAKE him be interested in you.

Hope that helps,
Tim

[Gigabitch]

Some guys wait for four days so as not to come off as desperate. It's a terrible rule. I'm not sure where they get it. It doesn't mean he's not interested.

So, how does he know your friends? Maybe you could do a little research on him.

[boobaa]

Maybe he is gathering the guts.

Also, I wouldn't be surprised if he thinks it was just the club thing, even if he found you interesting and wants to know you better. You know, some girls sometimes don't know what they are doing and regret later, this puts us, men off also. But then again, I am not him, there could be tons of reasons.

[OneLastHope]

Here is my ten cents,
I (being 17) have used this so called strategy. By waiting several days guys hope to buils suspense and create a tension and want in the women. i wouldn't sweat it. and if he doesn't call look at it this way, why would you want a guy who doesn't care about you? i know it might hurt or be depressing but it has to be viewed like that.

On another note it could be these to:

1. Gathering the "balls" to do it.

2. Sadly enough (sorry if this is the case) another women and he is deciding/note calling.

3. He asked for YOUR number so he is or WAS interesting, if he was drinking it does effect the way men take in women, especially if he is the "horny" drinker.

[Cirquel]

Alright guys... thanks for the comments. Now I have another small issue... cause he ended up calling last night, but I didn't get his call, and he didn't leave a voicemail! lol. Yaaaay........... this is terrible. Still don't know what to do... continue to wait...?... he didn't call again since. It's possible he's shy.

Technically, I'm not supposed to know it was him calling. I just traced his number online (stalker, much?)... so yeah. It would be strange if I just called back and was like, "Heeey. Oh... it's YOU.... interestiiing...." O_O

It's been another day. I'm thinking of breaking the golden "keep him interested" rule and just texting him saying, oh, if it's you <guy's name>... sorry, because I lent my brother my cell for a couple of days (which is what happened).

I am a tard!

[snoz]

I say screw the rules really. I've called back the next day, I've called back after 2 weeks, it just really depends how much time the guy has on his hands or if he's into these stupid games.

Just be honest to him, call him text him whichever and say "sorry I had a missed call and I thought it might be you?" why lie about it?

[boobaa]

Snoz gave good advice, just do it? Ask yourself, what is stopping you?

[Gigabitch]

I say screw the rules really. I've called back the next day, I've called back after 2 weeks, it just really depends how much time the guy has on his hands or if he's into these stupid games.

Just be honest to him, call him text him whichever and say "sorry I had a missed call and I thought it might be you?" why lie about it?

I'd be cautious with that. he might feel like she's taking on the "boy" role. That turns some guys way off.

OP, I say that if he doesn't even have the balls to call you, you don't want him anyway. Too many fish in the sea. Some fish have balls. Hold out for a Ballfish.

[Cbrider]

He will call back, if he made the attempt to hes interested.

As for the 3+ day rule...eh its kind of an unwritten male law so you don't come off as desperate. I know some women hate it, I personally do whatever the heck I feel like. My last girlfriend ended up having coffee with me to get to know each other at 3 in the afternoon, which turned into dinner, a movie, ice cream, back to her apartment, who's line is it anyway? and a goodnight kiss. All said and done it was 3 in the morning.....yah everyone is different.

Point is, don't hold up for him, but trust he will call back.

[Charlie Boy II]

Wait for him to call you back. And calm down.

[vaneigem]

If you missed the call, chances are he's going to think you changed your mind and just didn't pick up. Ring him and explain or he'll be gone forever!

[vashti]

You said he was shy; he probably just chickened out and is trying to gain courage.

When you meet a guy in a bar atmosphere, there is always a question about whether or not the other person was interested solely because they were drinking, so he may be questioning whether you really liked him or not.

Maybe you can call him after a week and a half and chew him out for not calling you when he said he would!