Need help setting up a meeting

[CapnFalcon]

Hi,

This is the first time I have ever felt "in love" with someone so I hope I don't make an idiot out of myself typing this.

The girl I am talking about is a previous schoolmate of mine, and... I didn't feel anything at first sight, but after spending some time in the same classes as her I felt like I was absolutely in love with her (I said "feel" because I don't know if it's truly love). Unfortunately, I was not really able to become good friends with her, one of the reasons being that I was suffering from social anxiety. Thanks to therapy and such I was able to make something of a recovery, and now I am socially healthy. Unfortunately, by the time I felt I was confident enough to do things like strike up conversations, she had already graduated.

So, it had been a while since I had last seen her when one day I was bored enough to look up my own name on Google... anyway, one of the hits was related to the school I was at and happened to have both my name and hers on it. Well... I felt sort of guilty/stalkerish at first, but I really wanted to find out what she had been up to so I did a Google search for her name and found some pages with her name on them, one of which had her e-mail address.

*sigh*

I wish I could have just talked to her when we were at school together, but alas...

I know what school she is at now, so I know she's still in town... and I want to meet up with her again. Any kind of meeting at all, even if its with some other people, I couldn't care less. I just want to know her better... but it looks like the only way I have of contacitng her is by e-mail.

Anyway, that's the whole story; I need to write a letter to her and try to set up some sort of meeting. But this is where I need help... it's not that I can't write, it's just that I have never done ANYTHING like this before. I am not sure exactly what to say in the letter , I just know I don't want to sound rude, pretentious, or desperate...

So, basically, I need some advice with this message. Any advice at all on what to put in it and what not to put in it. I think I have been putting this off until now because I am afraid of rejection... but then I remind myself, she is very friendly (one of the traits that made me like her), so even if she says no she'll say it nicely (and I'll at least feel like I tried)

Thanks
~CF

[sfalexi]

Hmm. That's a toughy. If she had given it to you a long time ago you could've used the, "I was looking through my stuff and I found your email!" line . But that's not the case. As a matter of fact, had it not been because of Google being too good, you wouldn't have her email at all. That is a ROUGH situation.

Well, if you're ok with possibly getting rejected, then go for it. Like you said, "at least feel like I tried". How to start it though. How about, "I was searching for my school on google and came across this webpage that had your email in it. And I remember you as being _____ and ______" and maybe try to lead in like that. And save the webpage too cause if she DOES go out with you, chances are that that's gonna pop up. Women have a way of remembering and asking about the damndest things just when the man has forgotten about it. It's like a sixth sense to be able to detect precisely how long that man has remembered it. Next thing you know it's like, "Honey? Remember 7 months ago when I asked you if you thought I could stand to lose some weight and you didn't reply at all? Why was that?" Then you're screwed.

Alexi

[Fawn]

I congratulate you on getting the help for Social Anxiety. I have the same disorder and with the help of lovely doctors and medications I have somewhat of a normal life now. I'm happy that you are getting better and I hope all goes well in the future.

Back to topic...
I agree with Alexi. I would make contact and what he suggested is pretty good.
As long as you are sincere and don't give out to much information about you liking her then maybe a friendship can be started. Then over talking more an eventual meeting can start up.

Remember that the email address could have been changed by now. So try not to be to dissappointed.