New girl, better prospects

[Arrow]

I'll be very brief.

Met a girl at college. I was talking to some friends and she approached us, started talking to us. During that, she seemed to look at me a few more times than normal.

She wanted to have lunch, I wanted too, so I went with her. She kept saying she didn't know where we would go, but we figured out a place.

We then talked about lots of things, found out we had very similar tastes, made compliments to each other, laughed together... She was the one who asked my name first. She also said she liked gentlemen. Late into the conversation she started playing with her hair (I heard this is a good indicative) and after we were done with lunch we spent some more time together talking about stuff.

When we had to go I gave her a lift to work, she paid the parking lot bill (not without me insisting on paying myself, but didn't want to force her), I opened the door of my car to her. After some time she crossed her legs to my side. She joked about taking a lift from a guy she had met just hours ago. I left her at work and got her number.

The day after I called her and invited her to go to a park on afternoon but she declined, she had to study for a test (she actually had one) and had an appointment with a girl friend (she even said the name of the friend, without me even knowing the other girl, no excuse here I guess!) at evening. But she thanked me for the invitation... I said her voice was beautiful on the phone and she laughed and said "oh, thanks!" and that was it up until now.

The situation is much better than with the other girl. This one got me hooked!!! Maybe because she demonstrated some interest on me. What would be the prospects on this one?

[Cbrider]

Shes either into you or shes a tramp working on her game. Shes not a tramp

[Arrow]

Shes either into you or shes a tramp working on her game. Shes not a tramp

Man I'm just sooooo happy!!! This is what everyone's been telling me based on the hair remark and the other small details. I'm so glad to hear it. I really hope I can work things out with her because she seemed to like me. And she's heaps better than the girl I liked before.

To add to my good fortune, that day my hair was a mess and I hadn't taken a shower, so I wasn't in my best shape. If, despite all these things, she liked me, I can hope for the best.

We're going through a battery of tests at college this week so it'll be difficult for us to actually meet unless we get lucky, and the most convenient thing to do for now would be just another lunch invitation.

As a matter of fact, I've noticed my luck with girls has been changing lately. They seem to approach me more often.

[ecojeanne]

k arrow, she now knows for sure that you are interested with your comment on the phone (this is the moment girls can lose interest), sit back and wait till she makes the next move would be my advice

[Junket]

Yeah dude, don't f*ck this up by getting too eager.

Remember the apple.

[Arrow]

I guess I already blew it since she's not answering my SMS about another lunch invitation...

I need to get rid of this curse.

[billyb88]

Dude you didnt even wait a couple days before asking her to do something else? Let them come to you after the ball is in the court..

[Arrow]

Ok I'll be clear:

1) If I screwed up, I want to know if it's fixable. Because she really did seem to like me.
2) If I didn't screw up, well knowing that I didn't screw up will be enough.

[ecojeanne]

arrow, my advice would be DON'T contact her again and see what happens, get on with your life in the mean time and you never know she might contact you or you might bump into her but don't invite her directly, wait until she invites you. otherwise you will come across too eager and girls don't tend to respond to that, be patient.

[Arrow]

arrow, my advice would be DON'T contact her again and see what happens, get on with your life in the mean time and you never know she might contact you or you might bump into her but don't invite her directly, wait until she invites you. otherwise you will come across too eager and girls don't tend to respond to that, be patient.

I'm usually conservative (it's like stepping on eggs for me) but my therapist told me this girl was very much into me and it would be recommendable to keep the momentum... So I did that. The SMS wasn't anything romantic as well.

[ecojeanne]

i'm starting to wonder about your therapist, this should be fairly simple for your therapist to understand about eagerness surely? anyway i'm not a therapist or any kind of expert but i am a woman and when a guy gets too eager i know i don't have to bother making an effort and therefore i don't (however if he stops being eager it will generate my interest) and sometimes the eagerness will turn me right off if it's ongoing. you're ok with what you have done but you are teetering on the edge, just wait to get a sign from her. anyway thats just my thoughts

[Arrow]

i'm starting to wonder about your therapist, this should be fairly simple for your therapist to understand about eagerness surely? anyway i'm not a therapist or any kind of expert but i am a woman and when a guy gets too eager i know i don't have to bother making an effort and therefore i don't (however if he stops being eager it will generate my interest) and sometimes the eagerness will turn me right off if it's ongoing. you're ok with what you have done but you are teetering on the edge, just wait to get a sign from her. anyway thats just my thoughts

That's a classic. She used to tell me to do that with the old girl (and I seldom followed that... I was very much wrong). This situation was a bit different however.

[Junket]

You have to feel them out, no one method works with them all.

I also agree you shouldn't be taking this kind of relationship advice from your therapist.

[Dasein]

Just remember Arrow that therapist are just humans. They may be given training but aren't always right.

Within therapy itself there are many different trains of thought. The method that your therapist is using may not be correct or effective for you. Just don't take the advice as gospel.

[TheGreek]

Yeah, easy on the eagerness. That's always been my problem.