Can anybody help?

[deserae90]

To make a long story short, I took my ex back after he left me for another girl. We were together for a year then out of the blue-I don't matter. After, he always tried to get me back but for 10 months I wouldn't do it. Then I don't know, I guess I just missed him so much & I care about him a lot...Anyways it's been 3 years since we broke up the first time & I just can't let it go. It hurts so bad still!
I really want to make things work, but I'm at my wits end.
Anyone else in/ever was is a similiar situation? ANY advice?

Thank you very much!

[Gigabitch]

Trust is broken between the two of you. You've forgiven him and taken him back, but that doesn't heal the damage that was done to your foundation. This takes a LONG time, and a lot of effort on his part. Basically, he has to show you that he is reliable, and he has to keep showing you until you believe him. It could take years. It could take forever.

He must be really wonderful for you to be willing to expend that kind of effort. Remind yourself that he's worth it, and make sure you mean it, or it's a waste of both your time.

Also, if he tells you to put it in the past and pretend like it never happened, don't go for it. He broke something- he has to help fix it. If he's not willing to do that, he's not the right guy for you.

[scholar of love]

hey there deserae90

i've experience sumthg like dat except 4 dat im d other side (the guy, not the dumper).

1st of, its really hard 2 erase the memory of a wonderful time. its jz like u wanna relive dat again. & its really a dilemma whether 2 follow our hearts again or 2 b logical based on xperience.

im not gonna say dat i undrstnd ur feeling though i've been thru the same thg coz theres difference between male n female. 2 me, in love, women have more feel while men have more spirit.

i agree very much wid gigabitch. he must b a wonderful guy coz u stil hv feelings 4 him. based on my xperience, its not dat i dun luv her no more, bt im paranoid of she might destroy me once again.

my piece of advice is, 4 a successful relationship, FORGIVE BUT NEVER FORGET. mayb he really changed now n he miss u dat much 2. obviously u 2 wanna b wid each other. the best way is 2 take precautious steps so dat he wouldnt dump u 4 another girl again.

if u guys really get back 2 each other, only a sincere post-mortem works. y this n dat happen n how u guys can prevent it 2 happen again.

-post-mortem frm both party n party
-pre cautious steps frm ur part

like wat i did, when we're happy (after shopping,making luv n almost 2 sleep) i gently ask her y she left me b4 n so on, we came 2 n agreemnt n we promise never 2 upset again bla bla bla. i make it clear dat 'i want her 4 life, bt once my trust is broken, its over even if it kills me n u dun deserve luv frm me o any other man'

my precautious step;improve myself. b a better man. b healthy, earn more, share ambition, b better in bed. once in a while i think she's cheating again, i make her feel guilty by giving more luv n ask her for assurance, n continue giving more luv after she assured me.

jz what i did. hope u hv some idea. best of luck!

[S-Ali Raza]

hey listen!
don't worry. i think that you should try to get him back bcoz love is every thing.
if love is not in the world then nobody can live in this world.please try something to get him back.because we all are nothing without love

[Lipp]

hey there deserae90

i've experience sumthg like dat except 4 dat im d other side (the guy, not the dumper).

1st of, its really hard 2 erase the memory of a wonderful time. its jz like u wanna relive dat again. & its really a dilemma whether 2 follow our hearts again or 2 b logical based on xperience.

im not gonna say dat i undrstnd ur feeling though i've been thru the same thg coz theres difference between male n female. 2 me, in love, women have more feel while men have more spirit.

i agree very much wid gigabitch. he must b a wonderful guy coz u stil hv feelings 4 him. based on my xperience, its not dat i dun luv her no more, bt im paranoid of she might destroy me once again.

my piece of advice is, 4 a successful relationship, FORGIVE BUT NEVER FORGET. mayb he really changed now n he miss u dat much 2. obviously u 2 wanna b wid each other. the best way is 2 take precautious steps so dat he wouldnt dump u 4 another girl again.

if u guys really get back 2 each other, only a sincere post-mortem works. y this n dat happen n how u guys can prevent it 2 happen again.

-post-mortem frm both party n party
-pre cautious steps frm ur part

like wat i did, when we're happy (after shopping,making luv n almost 2 sleep) i gently ask her y she left me b4 n so on, we came 2 n agreemnt n we promise never 2 upset again bla bla bla. i make it clear dat 'i want her 4 life, bt once my trust is broken, its over even if it kills me n u dun deserve luv frm me o any other man'

my precautious step;improve myself. b a better man. b healthy, earn more, share ambition, b better in bed. once in a while i think she's cheating again, i make her feel guilty by giving more luv n ask her for assurance, n continue giving more luv after she assured me.

jz what i did. hope u hv some idea. best of luck!

I hate you already. Bold text hates you too.

[ecojeanne]

I hate you already. Bold text hates you too.

aw shaddup lipp!, just read it or be quiet.

[ecojeanne]

i agree with giga, he needs to prove to you that he is trustworthy. he broke that trust. you took him back; so you wanted to give it a go - which is definitely not a good idea. you care about him so you did. but don't let him pressure you into 'trusting' him fully if you're not ready yet- and infact you may never be ready. good luck

[Lipp]

aw shaddup lipp!, just read it or be quiet.

I would be far more inclined to read it if it didn't require a LeetSp33k Translatomatic 5000SE.

[scholar of love]

haha lipp. What is the problem with short forms? I do not get it <exclamation mark>

[deserae90]

Thank you guys i appreciate the help. I suppose I should just focus on the good and try to work out my issues with the past.
If only it were that easy, right? I'll give it a go though.
Thanks again!

[IndiReloaded]

We were together for a year then out of the blue-I don't matter.

Huh. Guess what, you STILL don't matter. Know who matters (to him)? HE does. HIS feelings. He's coming back b/c the grass wasn't actually greener. What reason do you have to think that he won't leave again when he sees yet another verdant pasture?

It doesn't sound to me like he's done much of anything to acknowledge your issues & feelings about this situation. Watch out, this guy doesn't love you, he loves the way YOU make HIM feel. Huge difference.