A little advice to help a shy guy...

[HUNT3R]

It's been a while since I last visited this forum. I've been very busy with work and football. I've been reading the thread about 1aj being encouraged to talk to more girls. I really feel it's time I do the same. It's been almost 8 months since I had anything close to a relationship and I have been more than happy to remain single and focus on other things (friends, work, football etc) until I was ready to be in a relationship again. I feel the time has come that I at least "get out there" and meet new girls. Problem is, I'm shy and I don't have a lot of confidence when approaching girls.

Currently there are two girls I'd at least like to get to know better. The one, Lisa, is a blonde girl and she's cute and seems nice. She also plays in the same football tournament as I do. That means I see her every Wednesday evening. It seems that she comes with her dad. I've never seen her there with a boyfriend or anything, so I can only assume she's single. I've only ever said hello to her once when I asked if she also plays football here. She said yes and was very friendly. How can I approach her to start up a conversation? Something like "Hi, you played well that last game. Oh by the way, I'm Wally."? She's always around either her team or her dad which makes it a little difficult.

Then there's another girl I every Friday night when I go out to the club. She's a brunette and also damn cute. I've noticed her a lot and I've never seen her there with a guy. She has said hi to one or two guys who I assume are friends, but that's it. She's always there with another blonde girl and they always stick together. I've never seen her checking me, or anyone else, out. Maybe she just isn't looking for any guy in a club? She seems nice though... and fun. Always looks like she has a great time. While there, they do drink a little but not much and she doesn't smoke, which is great. I have no idea how to approach her. To her I might just be "just another drunk guy in a club", but I'm a nice guy and hardly drink at all.

Any ideas? Do I need to give more info?

[ecojeanne]

ye the brunnette; i can't really offer any good advice on this coz when guys approach me in a club, i'll respond politely but at the end of the day i see them as a stranger in a club...for me thats a no no. some girls may not be as strict so maybe go up and chat to her when she is at the bar getting a drink?

approaching the blonde has better prospects simply coz its not in a bar or club

[HUNT3R]

I was hoping you'd say something different eco, but you are right. In a club it is very difficult. I live in a small town, where I know basically everyone. I'm trying to meet new girls and I don't know of many ways to do that around here. Isn't there any way I could get her attention (make her notice me) and to let her know I'm not just another guy in the club?

With Lisa it might be easier, but I'm very shy. I very rarely approach girls, so I have little experience with that. Any ideas how I could approach her? She's always around other people...

[ecojeanne]

I was hoping you'd say something different eco, but you are right. In a club it is very difficult. I live in a small town, where I know basically everyone. I'm trying to meet new girls and I don't know of many ways to do that around here. Isn't there any way I could get her attention (make her notice me) and to let her know I'm not just another guy in the club?

With Lisa it might be easier, but I'm very shy. I very rarely approach girls, so I have little experience with that. Any ideas how I could approach her? She's always around other people...

are you any good at dancing? that would hopefully get you noticed, altho i dunno how big the club is, would she see you?

is there any way you can approach lisa about how her games went...etc etc and start from there?

[UKboy]

I don't club but...
Girls who hit the clubs for some fun would never bring along their bf if they have one.

[HUNT3R]

are you any good at dancing? that would hopefully get you noticed, altho i dunno how big the club is, would she see you?

is there any way you can approach lisa about how her games went...etc etc and start from there?

It's not that big. I'm a pretty good dancer and I usually dance on stage at the front and it would be easy to spot me because they usually dance fairly close to the stage. The thing is though, that she doesn't seem to notice any guys at all. Maybe she DOES have a bf, or it's because we're in a club? Making conversation isn't too difficult, that part I struggle with, is the approach. I never know what to say or how to introduce myself. Is it best to leave this situation rather? We all know the typical club girls, but this one seems far from it.

I have football tonight, I'll see if there's a way to speak to Lisa.

[ecojeanne]

give her good eye contact and smile on your way past her to the bar or dancefloor? but don't stare obviously.

i always love a good cheeky wink and smile, i know its cheezy but it shows confidence (it has the same effect on me as joeys 'how yu doin?' from friends haha)

another option in the club would be ask her to dance?

[HUNT3R]

Thanks, I'll try and make eye contact next time I see her.

[blackzj52]

ye the brunnette; i can't really offer any good advice on this coz when guys approach me in a club, i'll respond politely but at the end of the day i see them as a stranger in a club...for me thats a no no. some girls may not be as strict so maybe go up and chat to her when she is at the bar getting a drink?

approaching the blonde has better prospects simply coz its not in a bar or club

thats something iv never understood...why would a single girl go to a club/bar/party and not want to find somebody?
thats really the only point in going..
the ones tho that feel like ur a creep if you try and talk to them at parties is what pisses me off.