Long Term Relationship Question

[VegOut]

Hi Everyone, I'm new...I was looking for answers and stumbled on this site. Maybe someone might be able to help...I've been in a relationship with a man for 7 years. I am 31, he is 40. I have no kids, never been married, he is divorced and has one son who is 16. From the start of our relationship he told me he didn't want to get married, and didn't want any more kids. I was okay with that, but now that I am getting older, I am wondering if my needs are changing and if I would be making a mistake by staying in this relationship. I think I do want to get married, and maybe in a few years have a child. With so much time invested, I don't know what to do. We do not live together, never have. When I tell him that I might want something more, he reminds me that he did tell me from the start he didn't want these things. Advice? Thank you.

[Mish]

When I tell him that I might want something more, he reminds me that he did tell me from the start he didn't want these things.

You should ask him what he means by that. From the start you were 7 years younger and your needs were different back then. If he means that he is not going to bulge on this issue then tell him you are sorry it has to be this way, you now need a family of your own and leave him.

[Aeradalia]

Your needs seem to be indeed changing... whereas his has not. And if he is reiterating what he stated from the beginning then it's a good indication that he will not want to be married and have more children.

I would take some time and determine which is of greater importance to you... marriage and children or remaining with him and his son but no prospect of marriage or your own children.

If you decide that you really do want to be married and have children of your own, then I would advise seeking elsewhere as he clearly cannot/will not help provide these things for you.

[vashti]

Get out now. Having children (when you are ready for them, of course) is the most excellent gift a person could ever receive. If you think you might want your own family, it would be unfair to ask you to give it up.