I work, why can't i come home and watch tv all night?

[lesa]

If they share everything, then by extension, that means they should share earning capacity.

But in many cases, ppl do NOT marry their "equal" in this regard. So, how do YOU suggest that someone, whose partner (man or woman), is the major breadwinner be spending their time if not at work, helping to earn *significant* money to help support the household.

Does it truly seem unreasonable that the person at home make their contribution AT HOME? Isn't that a valuable contribution?

Surely you aren't suggesting that someone who brings in most of the income needed to run the home ALSO spend 50% of their non-working time doing things like cooking & cleaning? When there is another partner perfectly available to be doing at least some of these things?

As to your specific question: yes, I think I could do what I said in hour hours. I have a pretty large house, but I think I could manage if I was spending 4 consistent hours *everyday* (mon-fri) working steady cleaning & cooking. Thats 20 hours a week!

Tho, TBH, I work so I've never tried. My husband & I split up our duties according to the method I've described previously.

What is so interesting is that the OP is asking why he cannot "relax" and why is his fiancee nagging after he came home from a hard day at work. He is not nagging that he is disgusted that his girl did not clean up the house while he was gone. She is nagging and he is complaining about her nagging.

I say to the OP, communicate more, dump her, or hire maid services.

[IndiReloaded]

And noone has even brought up the obvious: I was only proposing 4 hours a day for the person at home.

In an "equal" partnership, the at home person should work the same amount of hours as the person outside the home. 8 - 10 hours of cooking and cleaning a day, 5 days a week, would satisfy even the most patatial of homes & bellies.

[ecojeanne]

This isn't about equality. Or at least it shouldn't be. If I worked all day long to take care of a woman I would be hurt if she didn't do something to show her appreciation. The house wouldn't need to be scrubbed top to bottom. Dinner wouldn't need to be a feast. I'd really feel unappreciated, though, if I came home and had to make my own dinner and wash the dishes because she spent the day watching Oprah. Now, if she was working on a doctorate that would be different. I know just how difficult and time-consuming that is.

picture this statement coming from a woman talkin' about a man...c'mon you would expect the guy to have the dinner ready and have the house clean.....i know i would

[IndiReloaded]

This indeed has become a gender issue here instead of a fairness issue ... doing household chores is work just like going to a job, yet it seems that you and some of the women here think it's somehow demeaning and servile. Work is work, and in a good relationship, it is shared evenly in all its forms! I think we all are forgetting that he spends 2/3 of his waking hours being a servant ... to his boss.

Best point in the whole thread. Thanks Carl. Not all women think this way, btw. I completely agree with you. I don't find housework 'beneath' me, its just a job that needs doing.

Nowhere I can find in this thread the OP expecting his partner to 'serve' him or clean up after him. As for her thesis, she apparently spends much of her day socializing with her family. Must be nice. I certainly didn't have that kind of time working on my graduate degree. So, its pretty obvious that time could be spent doing housework & cooking. Then mbe they could BOTH enjoy socializing with family when he gets home, instead of having to take out garbage & do dishes she could have done during the day.

[habubbles]

i'd do all the chores and all that stuff together, put some music on in the background, and do it together, give you a little more time together, and you never now, you might be able to get somethin out of it. it works for me.

[doppelgaenger]

I can't wait to cook food for my girlfriend and clean up after her and worship her body - after 8 hours of work.

This guy isn't very appreciative.