how to get to the dating stage?

[savoysuit]

hey,

so tomorrow afternoon I'm going to a museum with a girl who I used to be a T.A. for (last year). I was quite attracted to her last year, but obviously as I was the TA I couldn't make a move at all. She was added to facebook but that's it. We never really talked at all through fbook though, until recently when she commented on a few of my profile pics and a few other things. We exchanged a few messages and as I mentioned I was thinking of going to see a certain art exhibit (we're in art school) and she wanted to know when I was going so we could go together (keep in mind we've never done anything outside of school, and never really talked). So here's the thing... I don't know what her motives are... I'm pretty sure (98%) she's not looking at this as a date. I've no idea if she would be attracted to me in that way, although I'm relatively sure she's single. I would love to try dating her, but since I've never been in a situation quite like this one, I'd have no idea as to how to go about getting that to happen. I suppose it's more what to say at the right time... or something. hm. reading this over I'm not sure what I'm asking... I guess I just needed to get it out there...


I also don't think it would be right to pay for her right..?

[TheGreek]

It seems like she made the first move by getting you to basically ask her out. My advice: go out with her and have fun. Play it cool and don't jump to any type of conclusion. Use this as an opportunity to gauge her interest. Best of luck and don't expect too much.

[savoysuit]

Well I didn't really ask her out... I did give her an opening on purpose: i.e. my telling her that I wanted to go to this show... and she responded with exactly the thing that I wanted which was her asking if she come with me....

[The Godfather]

It seems like she made the first move by getting you to basically ask her out. My advice: go out with her and have fun. Play it cool and don't jump to any type of conclusion. Use this as an opportunity to gauge her interest. Best of luck and don't expect too much.

Right here. This ^

[TheGreek]

Well I didn't really ask her out... I did give her an opening on purpose: i.e. my telling her that I wanted to go to this show... and she responded with exactly the thing that I wanted which was her asking if she come with me....

Women are much better at receiving signals than us men. She knew by you mentioning that you wanted to go with her or you wouldn't have mentioned it. I'm not going to say she likes you, because it's too early to tell. But you've peaked her curiosity.

As for paying...I don't know. It depends on the girl. I usually pay and say that it's my treat. But if she adamantly insists on paying, let her.

[savoysuit]

well as I said... I never said I wanted to go with her. All I said was that I was planning on going to the exhibition (not mentioning her at all). She wanted to with ME.

[TheGreek]

I was quite attracted to her last year, but obviously as I was the TA I couldn't make a move at all.

Maybe you didn't mean to on purpose. But, perhaps, your subconcious told you to. Either way, you are going to go out and see and exhibit with a girl you like and she probably has her eye on you as well, since she wanted to go with YOU. Sounds like you're in a good spot buddy. But like I said before, don't expect too much.

[savoysuit]

I've noticed that she's very recently (last couple weeks) started commenting on a lot of my facebook activity. She never used to do this... as I said, we never communicated at ALL (except for a happy birthday post). I'm a bit surprised I guess...

[TheGreek]

I've noticed that she's very recently (last couple weeks) started commenting on a lot of my facebook activity. She never used to do this... as I said, we never communicated at ALL (except for a happy birthday post). I'm a bit surprised I guess...

That sounds promising. It seems like she likes you. Just don't try and move too fast. Play it cool and smooth.

[savoysuit]

I wonder why all of a sudden, without my having done anything though... hm. Very strange...

[TheGreek]

I dunno man, just don't over-think it and see where this road takes you. And have fun while doing so

[savoysuit]

will do thanks. I'll post here to tell you how it goes...

[TheGreek]

Yeah, keep us in the loop. I'm gunning for you bro!

[savoysuit]

so we met today. I do get the feeling she may be interested... it's hard to tell, as she could be a bit shy. Anyway, the night before we met she fbook messaged her phone number incase I ever needed to phone her (I gave her mine back of course). Anyway we got along really well I think. I let her pay for the museum, I think that was right at that moment. Anyway, partway through our visit she hinted that maybe we get something to eat afterwords... she didn't actually say it, so I did, and she agreed. As far as convo's go, she seemed to give off signs that she was either interested/nervous... kept good eye contact etc... smiled a lot, laughed at nonsense....

so we went and got a light bite to eat... my intention would have been to pay for her at that point, but it was a buffet style and she finished loading up before I did... and went ahead and payed for herself... so I didn't really have a chance. Ah well. Anyway, as I mentioned she had to get to work so I walked her there... asked if she'd like to get together next week and go on a gallery tour, and she agreed (hopefully next Thursday... she has an exam before that, and I'm not free anymore until Wednesday). So I gave her a hug to end it....and that's about it then...

so all in all, I think it went pretty well.

[glow]

she was your student you were her t.a.
do NOT pay for her.
do not do anything that would make it seem as though it was anything remotely close to a date.
let her take the lead on this.