does my ex want me back or just being nice?

[myblackgirl777]

hello... new poster here however i have seen som good advice given in other posts so figured i should give this a go...

this is kinda long i have tried to cut it down..however
im in a little bit of a pickle...
3 months ago my boyfriend of (4 going on 5 years) split up with me for another woman..... (we are 20),....its so bad, i did think i was going to marry the dude!! and it all came crashing down...when this girl moved in him
(yes it does takes two to tango!!)

-right, after this i vowed NEVER TO speak to him again. and i did well UNTIL....
last month he got incontact with my best friend to find out how i was doing and just to "talk"

-in summery he TOLD HER, he missed me, his new girlfriend is insecure, possessive, and hacks onto his emails n facebook
-other ppl tell him his gf is unattractive
-he couldnt answer my friend when she said..."do u wanna be in the relationship with his new girlfriend"
(the list of problems goes on...)
my friend said he sounded pretty depressed
-he claimed he has grown into a man blah blha blha!

so eventualy i cracked n spoke to him..on msn first... it was the most wierdest thing in my life...my stomach turned and i was in the toilet within seconds! LOL!! due to nerves and pain etc

BUT now that talkin on msn has lead me to talking on the phone (on 2 occasions)
-from one of the phone conversations.... he explained his actions and after a while i switched back to my normal happy, positive newly really confidant self and he LOVED IT....
SO MUCH SO... i got an expensive christmas present in the post yesterday from him.
Anywhoo

-we keep having late night conversations on msn, and we text each others mobiles.....
he keeps going back to past memories of the AMAZING TIMES WE HAD TOGETHER...
To be honest anytime we did have together it was PERFECT....IT WAS A PERFECT 4 YEARS...IM not even joking....
its just the times we had apart which were hard.. ..(long distance relationships and uni..dont mix well...)

he claims he wants to have a friendship/understanding with me because i played such a significant part in his life since we were so young and he doesnt want that to go.

but its so confusing for me,
-i still deep deep deep down love him, hes the only boy i have been with but he hurt me bad,.....
but i do want to be friends with him...purhaps even more im not too sure...

i didnt think i would ever be a person that would forgive someone for cheating...but i feel I have.

the other day he went back to his parents home and he sent me a text saying, he is going thro pictures cards presents n cds that i sent him, he said my pictures are all over the place and it sends him back to a time where his life was a lot happier.

i mean is this mixed signals or what...?

he apologised to all my friends and my mum saying such wonderful things....about our times together and for the way he acted, and how special i am and i can never be replaced

HOWEVER
I still believe he is still with his "new GIRLFRIEND"

What do you think his game is......
he claimes he stalks my facebook, his family loved me and only spoke good things about me and that they think i am the perfect woman for him...

he also says he never sleeps anymore.... he has too much things in his head....

i just dont know...

the other issue is that his new girlfriend...she lives in america and has a bad illness....always in and out of hospital (but yes its also another long distance relationship!!.. it wasnt when they started though.)

but should he be talking to me when he is with her?

what do you think?

what do you think the new girlfriend would say if she knew we were in contact?... im not entirely sure she knows..

the reason for the christmas gift?

and overall what do you think his game is

what do you think i should do

I know its long and probably confusing but
Thanks guys!

[carl1222]

First of all, you can't be just his friend while you still have strong romantic feelings for him ... it will just tear you up!

Second, from the tone of his contacts with you (including the gift), I have little doubt that except for the distance, he'd be trying to cheat on his new girlfriend with you ... that's his game. In a way, he's already cheating on her emotionally, and if she knew, she would be rightly pissed. So he hasn't really grown at all.

Sorry, but I think you should bail out.

Carl.