Advice, should I let go

[dominic]

Lo all first timer here really not sure whether I should be doing this but feel I need some help. It was my bday on xmas eve and went out with friends for a drink. Unfortunately my gf lives a way away and thus couldnt join us and I was missing her terribly and she I. One of my school friends was there who I used to like and so to cut a long story short we ended having a kiss on the lips, but I hasten to add only a kiss on the lips no tongues etc involved. I am now having a large go at myself as I love my gf to bits and dont want to hurt her in any way. Have I cheated or not or was the combination of drink, me missing my gf badly caused this to happen. My friends say let it go its just a xmas kiss between friends, and I know that if I tell the gf she will 99% likely dump me so it really isnt an option. Do I need to let things go and shrug it off or should I tell her, your advice would be much appreciated.

[Cain]

In my eyes, kissing another person is cheating and therefore I feel that she has a right to know. Whether you two stay together or not afterward really depends on her.

[Cinimod]

I think that if you had really missed her that much, you wouldn't have even thought about kissing someone else, instead you would have been going off and trying to give her a ring to tell her so.

If you really care for her and have any respect for her, you should tell her that you kissed someone else, even just a quick kiss on the lips. Because think about how you would feel if it was the other way around and she was the one who was missing you like mad and kissed someone else.

Whatever you do...goodluck. If you really do care about this girl, I hope it works out.

[vashti]

I say this with caution, and I am trusting that you are GENUINELY remorseful and otherwise without any reason she should mistrust you.

If you can make a plan that determines how you will change your behavior in the future to ensure you are not in this situation again, I say you should NOT tell her. Doing so will only hurt her if she loves you, and will force her to take punitive action.

This is only my advice if you won't allow yourself to do this again. If you do, a pattern will have been established, and you should not have a girlfriend.

[Lite]

You know, there's a pretty big difference between a kiss and a full blown makeout session. If you respect your girlfriend the least you will do is cut off contact with the other girl outright. Whether you tell your girlfriend about it is up to you I feel as it is unlikely that she's going to contract some sort of disease from you via the original kiss.

The question is, did you kiss her or did she kiss you... Were you drunk?

[Gigabitch]

Dumping your guilt in her lap will certainly get you in trouble. This is not her problem, it's YOUR problem. She's not going to absolve you.

You figure out whether or not you're a cheating scumbag or not. If you are, break up with her before you do any real damage. If you aren't, make damn sure you never do something like this again. Do NOT put this in her court.

[DreamBeliever]

It all depends on your take on things whether or not this is an issue for your relationship. i.e what did the kiss mean for you? When I've had a drink I have been known to kiss n' hug friends- guys and girls- but I know what I mean by it when I do it. I'm in a secure and trusting relationship and my tactile nature isn't something that my ex worries or needs to worry about. Did you kiss any other friends on the lips that night? Weigh up what it meant for you to kiss this girl and you'll know whether or not it's worth hurting your girlfirend and losing your relationship over. In my experience some things are to be discussed and some aren't. Ask yourself honestly- if this other girl were to have initiated anything 'else' with you that night would you have gone there? If the answer is yes- you need to be fair to your girl n' do right by her. If not- put it donw to drunken silliness with someone from your past that you care about- We all so silly things when we have a drink- don't beat yourself up too much either way- it's life, it's love- and it can suck sometimes- and nobody is perfect- nobodys relationship is perfect.